IELTS Writing Task 2: Happiness - Band 7.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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Full Prompt
Some people believe that the pursuit of happiness is a selfish goal. Others believe that it is an important life objective that benefits both the individual and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Band 7.0 Sample Answer
Model Answer
While some argue that happiness is a selfish pursuit, I believe it is essential for both personal fulfillment and societal well-being.
On one hand, critics claim that the pursuit of happiness can be selfish. They argue that focusing solely on personal happiness may lead individuals to neglect their responsibilities towards family and society. For example, someone obsessed with their own happiness might prioritize leisure activities over work or community service. Additionally, the constant chase for happiness can lead to dissatisfaction when expectations are not met, potentially causing stress and anxiety. A study by Cambridge Assessment English found that 40% of people who prioritize happiness report higher stress levels when their expectations are unmet.
However, I believe that happiness is not inherently selfish. When people are happy, they are more productive, creative, and caring. For instance, happy employees tend to be more efficient and innovative at work, benefiting their employers. Moreover, happy individuals are more likely to contribute positively to their communities. A study by the University of Warwick found that happy people are 20% more productive and contribute more to their communities.
In conclusion, while the pursuit of happiness can sometimes be misconstrued as selfish, it ultimately benefits both individuals and society. We should strive for happiness in a balanced way, ensuring that our personal goals align with the well-being of others.
Scoring Breakdown
| Criteria | Band Score | Explanation | |---|---|---| | Task Response | 7.0 | Presents a clear position throughout the response. Presents, extends, and supports main ideas but some ideas are supported by less obvious or less relevant examples. | | Cohesion and Cohesion | 7.0 | Uses a mix of cohesive devices effectively but there are some flaws in the organization. Some sentences are awkwardly connected. | | Lexical Resource | 7.0 | Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision. Some less common lexis is used but there are some repetitions and some errors in word choice. | | Grammar | 7.0 | Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. Makes frequent errors in grammar and punctuation but they do not impede communication. |
Vocabulary Highlights
- Pursuit (noun) - The act of striving for something. Collocation: Pursuit of happiness, pursuit of knowledge.
- Selfish (adjective) - Lacking consideration for others. Collocation: Selfish goal, selfish attitude.
- Fulfillment (noun) - Satisfaction or happiness. Collocation: Personal fulfillment, career fulfillment.
- Neglect (verb) - Fail to care for properly. Collocation: Neglect responsibilities, neglect duties.
- Obsessed (adjective) - Preoccupied with something to an unhealthy degree. Collocation: Obsessed with happiness, obsessed with work.
- Dissatisfaction (noun) - A feeling of discontent. Collocation: Feelings of dissatisfaction, express dissatisfaction.
- Productive (adjective) - Producing a large amount of something. Collocation: Productive employee, productive day.
- Innovative (adjective) - Introducing new ideas. Collocation: Innovative solutions, innovative products.
- Balanced (adjective) - Having a sense of balance. Collocation: Balanced life, balanced approach.
- Aligned (verb) - To be in agreement. Collocation: Aligned goals, aligned interests.
Common Mistakes
- Overgeneralizing - Making broad statements without sufficient support.
- Repetition - Repeating the same words or phrases excessively.
- Inconsistent Tense Use - Switching between tenses incorrectly.
- Poor Paragraph Structure - Not organizing ideas clearly within paragraphs.
- Spelling and Grammar Errors - Making frequent errors that impede understanding.
Statistic Callouts
| Label | Value | Source | |---|---|---| | Percentage of test-takers achieving Band 7.0 | 32% | Cambridge Assessment English 2023 | | Common vocabulary range for Band 7.0 | 1000-2000 words | Cambridge Assessment English 2023 | | Average word count for Band 7.0 responses | 280-300 words | Cambridge Assessment English 2023 |
FAQs
Q: What is the difference between a Band 6.0 and Band 7.0 response?
A: A Band 6.0 response presents a clear position but ideas are supported by less obvious or less relevant examples. A Band 7.0 response presents a clear position throughout the response and ideas are supported with some relevant examples.
Q: How can I improve my vocabulary for a Band 7.0 response?
A: Use a range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision. Try to use some less common lexis and avoid repetitions.
Q: What are the common grammar mistakes in a Band 7.0 response?
A: Common grammar mistakes include frequent errors in grammar and punctuation but they do not impede communication. Try to use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
Q: How can I improve my cohesion and cohesion score?
A: Use a mix of cohesive devices effectively but be aware of some flaws in the organization. Try to connect sentences more smoothly.
Q: What is the word count for a Band 7.0 response?
A: The average word count for a Band 7.0 response is 280-300 words. However, quality is more important than quantity.
Q: How can I ensure my response is balanced?
A: Ensure your response addresses both views equally and presents a clear position. Use examples to support your ideas and ensure your personal goals align with the well-being of others.
Q: What is the importance of task response in IELTS Writing Task 2?
A: Task response accounts for 25% of your total score. It is important to present a clear position and support your ideas with relevant examples.
Q: How can I avoid repetition in my response?
A: Use a range of vocabulary and try to use synonyms where appropriate. Avoid using the same words or phrases excessively.
Q: What is the role of examples in a Band 7.0 response?
A: Examples are used to support ideas but some ideas are supported by less obvious or less relevant examples. Try to use relevant examples to support your ideas.
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