IELTS Writing Task 2: Gender Pay Gap - Band 7.0 Sample with Full Breakdown

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The Prompt

Some people believe that the gender pay gap is a thing of the past, while others argue that it remains a significant issue. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Band 7.0 Sample Answer

Band 7.0

The gender pay gap, a persistent issue in many societies, continues to spark debate. While some argue that it has diminished significantly, others contend that it remains a pressing concern. This essay will explore both perspectives before presenting my stance.

On one hand, proponents of the view that the gender pay gap is a thing of the past cite several compelling points. They argue that legislation and social awareness campaigns have led to significant improvements. For instance, in many Western countries, laws now mandate equal pay for equal work. Additionally, high-profile cases of pay discrimination have raised public awareness, leading to greater scrutiny of workplace practices. Furthermore, data from the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) shows that the gender pay gap has narrowed in many countries over the past few decades. These developments suggest that the gender pay gap is no longer the pervasive issue it once was.

However, others maintain that the gender pay gap remains a significant problem. They point to persistent disparities in pay between men and women, even in industries where women are well-represented. For example, in the United States, women earn approximately 82 cents for every dollar earned by men. Moreover, the gap is even wider for women of color. Additionally, studies have shown that women are often relegated to lower-paying roles and face barriers to advancement. These factors indicate that the gender pay gap is far from resolved.

In my view, while progress has been made, the gender pay gap remains a significant issue. Although laws and awareness campaigns have led to improvements, persistent disparities in pay and opportunities for women indicate that more work needs to be done. Addressing this issue requires continued efforts from governments, employers, and society as a whole.

Scoring Breakdown

Task Response (TR): Band 7

• Presents a clear position throughout the response.
• Supports points with relevant examples.
• Presents a clear position throughout the response.
• Supports points with relevant examples.
• Presents, extends, and supports ideas, but there may be a tendency to overgeneralize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Band 7

• Uses cohesive devices effectively, but there may be some underuse or overuse.
• Arranges information and ideas logically.
• Uses a mix of cohesive devices effectively, but there may be some underuse or overuse.
• Arranges information and ideas logically.
• Uses a range of cohesive devices effectively, but there may be some underuse or overuse.

Lexical Resource (LR): Band 7

• Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision.
• Uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation.
• May make occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and/or word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Band 7

• Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
• Makes occasional errors in grammar and punctuation.
• Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
• Makes occasional errors in grammar and punctuation.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Persistent (adjective): Continuing firmly or obstinately, especially despite difficulty or opposition.

• Example: The persistent issue of the gender pay gap continues to spark debate.

1. Proponents (noun): A person who advocates for a cause or proposal.

• Example: Proponents of the view that the gender pay gap is a thing of the past cite several compelling points.

1. Legislation (noun): Laws, considered collectively, as made by a governing body.

• Example: Legislation and social awareness campaigns have led to significant improvements.

1. Mandate (verb): Give (someone) authority to act in a certain way.

• Example: Laws now mandate equal pay for equal work.

1. Scrutiny (noun): Critical observation or examination.

• Example: High-profile cases of pay discrimination have raised public awareness, leading to greater scrutiny of workplace practices.

1. Disparities (noun): A difference, especially an unfair or unequal one.

• Example: Persistent disparities in pay between men and women indicate that the gender pay gap is far from resolved.

1. Relegated (verb): Assign an inferior rank or position to.

• Example: Women are often relegated to lower-paying roles.

1. Barriers (noun): An obstacle or impediment.

• Example: Women face barriers to advancement.

1. Pervasive (adjective): Spreading widely throughout an area or a group of people.

• Example: The gender pay gap is no longer the pervasive issue it once was.

1. High-profile (adjective): Attracting much public notice or attention.

• Example: High-profile cases of pay discrimination have raised public awareness.

1. Raise awareness (verb): To make people conscious of an issue or cause.

• Example: High-profile cases of pay discrimination have raised public awareness.

1. Data (noun): Facts and statistics collected together for reference or analysis.

• Example: Data from the OECD shows that the gender pay gap has narrowed.

1. Narrowed (verb): Made narrower.

• Example: The gender pay gap has narrowed in many countries.

1. Address (verb): Think about and make a plan to deal with (an issue or problem).

• Example: Addressing this issue requires continued efforts from governments, employers, and society as a whole.

1. Continued efforts (noun): Ongoing attempts to achieve a goal.

• Example: Addressing this issue requires continued efforts from governments, employers, and society as a whole.

Common Mistakes

1. Overgeneralization: Students often make broad statements without sufficient support. Ensure that each point is backed by specific examples or data.

1. Lack of Clarity: Some responses may be unclear or confusing. Make sure to present ideas in a logical and coherent manner.

1. Inadequate Vocabulary: Using basic or repetitive vocabulary can limit the effectiveness of the response. Aim to use a range of vocabulary appropriate to the task.

1. Grammatical Errors: Common grammatical mistakes can detract from the overall quality of the response. Proofread for errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling.

1. Poor Structure: A poorly structured response can be difficult to follow. Ensure that the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly defined and logically connected.

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