IELTS Writing Task 2: Gender Pay Gap — Band 6.5 Sample with Full Breakdown

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The Prompt

Task: Some people believe that the gender pay gap is a thing of the past, while others argue that it is still a significant issue. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Band 6.5 Sample Answer

The gender pay gap is a complex issue that has been debated for many years. While some people argue that it is no longer a significant problem, others believe that it still exists and needs to be addressed. In my opinion, the gender pay gap is still a relevant issue that requires attention.

On one hand, those who believe that the gender pay gap is a thing of the past point to various factors. Firstly, many countries have implemented laws and policies to ensure equal pay for equal work. For example, the Equal Pay Act in the United States has been in place for several decades. Additionally, there are more women in leadership positions than ever before, which some argue indicates progress in gender equality. Moreover, some people believe that the pay gap is a result of personal choices, such as women choosing careers that traditionally pay less.

However, others argue that the gender pay gap is still a significant issue. According to a report by the World Economic Forum, it will take 257 years to close the gender pay gap globally. Furthermore, studies have shown that women are often paid less than men for the same jobs, even when factors like education and experience are taken into account. Additionally, the pay gap is even wider for women of color. These factors suggest that the gender pay gap is still a relevant issue that needs to be addressed.

In conclusion, while some people believe that the gender pay gap is a thing of the past, the evidence suggests otherwise. It is important to continue working towards gender equality in the workplace and to address the systemic issues that contribute to the pay gap.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): The response presents a clear position and discusses both views, but the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The conclusion is relevant but could be more fully developed.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): The response is organized into clear paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical. There are some cohesive devices used, but they are not always accurate or varied.
• Lexical Resource (LR): The response uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary, but there are some errors in word choice and collocation. Some vocabulary is repetitive.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Some sentences are awkwardly phrased.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Complex issue: A problem that has many different aspects or factors.

• Example: The gender pay gap is a complex issue that requires a multifaceted approach.

1. Significant issue: An important or notable problem.

• Example: The gender pay gap is still a significant issue that needs to be addressed.

1. Implemented laws: Laws that have been put into effect.

• Example: Many countries have implemented laws to ensure equal pay for equal work.

1. Leadership positions: Roles that involve managing or leading others.

• Example: There are more women in leadership positions than ever before.

1. Systemic issues: Problems that are deeply embedded in a system or society.

• Example: It is important to address the systemic issues that contribute to the gender pay gap.

Common Mistakes

1. Lack of specific examples: Many students discuss the gender pay gap in general terms but fail to provide specific examples or data to support their arguments.
2. Repetitive vocabulary: Some students use the same words and phrases repeatedly, which can make their writing seem less sophisticated.
3. Grammatical errors: Frequent grammatical errors can make it difficult for the examiner to understand the student's ideas.
4. Lack of clear progression: Some students struggle to organize their ideas in a clear and logical way, which can make their writing seem disjointed.
5. Overgeneralization: Some students make broad statements about the gender pay gap without considering the nuances of the issue.

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