IELTS Writing Task 2: Following Rules — Band 7.5 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Some people believe that following rules is essential for a peaceful society, while others argue that individual freedom is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Band 7.5 Sample Answer
Rules are the foundation of any organized society, but some argue that individual freedom should take precedence. In my opinion, while rules are necessary for maintaining order, we must also respect personal liberties.
On one hand, rules are crucial for a well-functioning society. They provide structure and prevent chaos. For example, traffic rules ensure safety on the roads, and laws against theft protect people's property. Without these rules, society would descend into disorder. Additionally, rules promote fairness and equality. They ensure that everyone is treated equally under the law. For instance, rules against discrimination protect marginalized groups and promote social justice.
However, some argue that individual freedom is more important. They believe that rules can be restrictive and limit personal expression. For example, some people may feel that dress codes in schools or workplaces infringe on their right to express themselves. Moreover, rules can sometimes be outdated and no longer relevant. For instance, laws that prohibit certain behaviors that are now widely accepted, such as same-sex marriage, can be seen as infringements on individual freedom.
In conclusion, while rules are necessary for maintaining order and promoting fairness, we must also respect individual freedoms. A balanced approach is needed, where rules are fair and reasonable, and individuals are allowed to express themselves within reasonable limits.
Scoring Breakdown
Task Response (Band 7.5)
- Presents a clear position throughout the response.
- Presents, extends, and supports ideas, but there may be a tendency to overgeneralize or support ideas by repetition.
- Presents a conclusion that follows from the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion (Band 7.5)
- Uses cohesive devices effectively, but there may be some under- or over-use.
- Arranges information and ideas logically, but there may be some unclear marking of paragraphs or stages in development.
- Uses a mix of cohesive devices effectively, but there may be some mechanical or inappropriate choices.
Lexical Resource (Band 7.5)
- Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision.
- Uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation.
- Makes only occasional errors in word choice, and these errors do not impede communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (Band 7.5)
- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
- Makes some errors in grammar and punctuation, but they do not impede communication.
- Uses a mix of tenses and sentence structures effectively, but there may be some errors in complex structures.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Foundation (noun) - the basis or groundwork of anything; the support on which a thing stands or is founded.
- Example: Rules are the foundation of any organized society.
- Precedence (noun) - priority or superiority in position, rank, or privilege.
- Example: Some argue that individual freedom should take precedence.
- Marginalized (adjective) - treated as insignificant or peripheral.
- Example: Rules against discrimination protect marginalized groups.
- Infringe (verb) - act in a way that deliberately breaks the terms of a law, agreement, etc.; violate.
- Example: Some people may feel that dress codes infringe on their right to express themselves.
- Outdated (adjective) - no longer in use; old-fashioned.
- Example: Laws that prohibit certain behaviors that are now widely accepted can be seen as outdated.
- Balanced approach (noun phrase) - a method or strategy that considers multiple perspectives and seeks a fair resolution.
- Example: A balanced approach is needed, where rules are fair and reasonable.
- Reasonable (adjective) - done or given with good sense or judgment; fair and sensible.
- Example: We must also respect individual freedoms within reasonable limits.
- Promote (verb) - support or actively encourage (a cause, venture, etc.); further the progress of.
- Example: Rules promote fairness and equality.
- Express (verb) - show or display (a feeling, quality, or attitude).
- Example: Individuals should be allowed to express themselves within reasonable limits.
- Structure (noun) - the arrangement of parts, elements, or constituents of a whole.
- Example: Rules provide structure and prevent chaos.
- Chaos (noun) - complete confusion and disorder.
- Example: Without rules, society would descend into chaos.
- Equality (noun) - the state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities.
- Example: Rules ensure that everyone is treated equally under the law.
- Discrimination (noun) - the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people, especially on the grounds of race, age, or sex.
- Example: Rules against discrimination protect marginalized groups.
- Social justice (noun) - justice in terms of the distribution of wealth, opportunities, and privileges within a society.
- Example: Rules against discrimination promote social justice.
- Relevant (adjective) - closely connected or appropriate to the matter at hand.
- Example: Some rules can be outdated and no longer relevant.
- Accepted (adjective) - generally agreed to be valid or correct.
- Example: Laws that prohibit certain behaviors that are now widely accepted can be seen as infringements on individual freedom.
- Limits (noun) - a point or level beyond which something does not or may not extend.
- Example: Individuals should be allowed to express themselves within reasonable limits.
- Fair (adjective) - treating people equally without favoritism or discrimination.
- Example: A balanced approach is needed, where rules are fair and reasonable.
- Reasonable (adjective) - done or given with good sense or judgment; fair and sensible.
- Example: We must also respect individual freedoms within reasonable limits.
- Freedom (noun) - the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.
- Example: Some argue that individual freedom should take precedence.
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Overgeneralizing: Students often make broad statements without providing specific examples or evidence to support their claims.
- Repetition: Repeating the same ideas or phrases without extending or supporting them with new information.
- Lack of Clear Position: Failing to present a clear position or opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
- Poor Cohesion: Using cohesive devices incorrectly or inconsistently, leading to unclear or confusing connections between ideas.
- Grammatical Errors: Making frequent or significant errors in grammar and punctuation that impede communication.
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