IELTS Writing Task 2: Fame (Positive Negative) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers
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Full Prompt
Some people believe that fame is positive, while others think it is negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Band 6.0 Model Answer
The fame is good and bad. Some people think fame is good because they can be rich and famous. For example, actors and singers can make a lot of money and people know them. But fame is also bad because famous people have no privacy. They cannot go out without people taking photos. In my opinion, fame is bad because it is hard to live with no privacy. I think people should not want to be famous.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but with limited development and some irrelevant points.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Uses some cohesive devices but often inappropriately.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses some less common vocabulary but with some errors and limited range.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms but with frequent errors.
Band 7.0 Model Answer
Fame can be both advantageous and disadvantageous. On one hand, being famous can bring wealth and opportunities. Celebrities often earn substantial incomes and gain access to exclusive events. On the other hand, fame can lead to a loss of privacy and constant scrutiny. Famous individuals are often followed by paparazzi and their personal lives are frequently discussed in the media. In my view, the negative aspects of fame outweigh the positive ones. The constant pressure and lack of privacy can be detrimental to one's mental health.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively but may occasionally overuse or misuse them.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items but some errors.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors.
Band 8.0 Model Answer
The phenomenon of fame has become increasingly prevalent in contemporary society, sparking a debate regarding its benefits and drawbacks. Proponents of fame argue that it can bring about financial prosperity and enhanced social status. For instance, renowned actors and musicians often command substantial fees for their work and enjoy a lifestyle that is envied by many. Conversely, critics contend that fame can lead to a loss of personal freedom and constant intrusion into one's private life. The relentless pursuit of fame by the media can result in a pervasive sense of anxiety and stress for those in the public eye. In my opinion, the negative consequences of fame far outweigh the positive aspects, as the erosion of privacy and the pressure to maintain a public image can have detrimental effects on an individual's well-being.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas, and presents a clear conclusion.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively to guide the reader through the response.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items used appropriately.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors but generally accurate.
Band 9.0 Model Answer
The ubiquity of fame in the modern world has engendered a contentious discourse concerning its ramifications. Advocates of fame posit that it can confer significant financial rewards and elevate one's social standing. Eminent personalities in the entertainment industry, for example, often secure lucrative contracts and enjoy a plethora of privileges that are beyond the reach of ordinary individuals. However, detractors argue that fame can engender a plethora of detrimental effects, including the erosion of personal privacy and the incessant scrutiny of one's actions. The insatiable appetite of the media for sensationalist stories can subject celebrities to an unrelenting barrage of criticism and invasion of privacy. In my view, the deleterious effects of fame are manifold and far-reaching, as the relentless pursuit of fame can exact a heavy toll on an individual's mental and emotional well-being. It is imperative that society recognizes the importance of striking a balance between the pursuit of fame and the preservation of one's privacy and mental health.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas, and presents a clear conclusion with a nuanced argument.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively to guide the reader through the response, with a clear progression of ideas.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with precise and sophisticated lexical items used appropriately.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of complex sentence forms with frequent error-free sentences.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Ubiquity: The state of being everywhere at the same time. Example: The ubiquity of smartphones in modern society.
- Ramifications: The consequences of an action or event. Example: The ramifications of the policy change were far-reaching.
- Eminent: Standing out so as to be readily perceived or noted; prominent. Example: The eminent scientist received numerous awards for her groundbreaking research.
- Lucrative: Producing a great deal of profit. Example: The lucrative contract offered her a substantial salary and benefits.
- Plethora: A large or excessive amount of something. Example: The plethora of choices made it difficult for her to decide.
- Detractors: People who disparage or criticize someone or something. Example: The detractors of the new policy argued that it would have negative consequences.
- Insatiable: Impossible to satisfy. Example: Her insatiable curiosity drove her to explore new topics constantly.
- Scrutiny: Close examination or inspection. Example: The project was under scrutiny due to its controversial nature.
- Barrage: A heavy concentration of something, such as missiles or questions. Example: The candidate faced a barrage of questions from the press.
- Deleterious: Causing harm or damage. Example: The deleterious effects of the chemical were well-documented.
- Manifold: Many and varied. Example: The benefits of exercise are manifold, including improved physical and mental health.
- Relentless: Never ceasing, especially in something unpleasant or unwelcome. Example: The relentless pursuit of success can lead to burnout.
- Exact: Demand or require (something) as a right or payment. Example: The new regulations will exact a heavy toll on small businesses.
- Imperative: Of vital importance. Example: It is imperative that we address the issue of climate change immediately.
- Striking a balance: Achieving a harmonious equilibrium. Example: Striking a balance between work and personal life is crucial for overall well-being.
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Lack of Clear Position: Failing to present a clear opinion on the topic, resulting in a vague or unclear response.
- Insufficient Development: Providing only superficial points without adequate explanation or examples.
- Poor Cohesion: Using cohesive devices inappropriately or not using them at all, leading to a disjointed response.
- Limited Vocabulary: Using a narrow range of vocabulary, often repeating the same words and phrases.
- Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical errors that hinder understanding and reduce the overall quality of the response.
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