IELTS Writing Task 2: Extended Families (Two Part Question) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers
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The Prompt
Paraphrased Prompt: Some people believe that extended families are important for raising children, while others argue that nuclear families are more suitable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
Sample Answer:
Extended families are good for kids because they have more people to help. But nuclear families are better because they are smaller. Some people think extended families are good because there are more people to help with the children. For example, grandparents can look after the kids while the parents work. Also, children can learn from older family members. On the other hand, nuclear families are better because they are smaller and easier to manage. Parents can give more attention to their children. Also, there are fewer arguments in a smaller family. In my opinion, nuclear families are better because they are more peaceful.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but develops it unsystematically with relevant, but unconvincing arguments and/or examples.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Uses some cohesive devices but these are mechanical and often faulty; may make errors in referencing and substitution.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses a limited range of vocabulary, but this is minimally varied and may lack flexibility.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Uses only a limited range of structures with only frequent error.
Band 7.0 Answer
Sample Answer:
The role of extended families in child-rearing has been a subject of debate. While some advocate for the benefits of extended families, others prefer the nuclear family structure. Proponents of extended families argue that having more family members around provides additional support for child-rearing. For instance, grandparents can assist with childcare, allowing parents to focus on their careers. Moreover, children can learn valuable life lessons from their elders. Conversely, supporters of nuclear families contend that a smaller family unit fosters a more intimate and focused environment for raising children. With fewer family members, parents can dedicate more time and attention to their children. Additionally, nuclear families often experience fewer conflicts due to their smaller size. In my view, nuclear families are more advantageous as they offer a more harmonious and attentive environment for children.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position throughout the response and extends and supports main trends, divisions, and implications.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Uses a mix of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under- or over-use.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with only occasional grammatical errors.
Band 8.0 Answer
Sample Answer:
The debate surrounding the efficacy of extended families versus nuclear families in raising children is multifaceted. Proponents of extended families emphasize the comprehensive support system they provide. With multiple generations living under one roof, children benefit from the collective wisdom and experience of their elders. For example, grandparents can offer childcare, enabling parents to pursue their professional goals. Additionally, extended families often foster a sense of community and belonging, which can be beneficial for a child's emotional development. Conversely, advocates for nuclear families highlight the advantages of a more intimate and focused family dynamic. With fewer family members, parents can devote more time and attention to their children, fostering a stronger parent-child bond. Furthermore, nuclear families often experience fewer conflicts due to their smaller size. In my opinion, while extended families offer certain benefits, nuclear families provide a more conducive environment for raising children due to their smaller size and fewer potential conflicts.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position throughout the response and extends and supports main trends, divisions, and implications.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention; rare minor errors occur but they do not impede understanding.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a sufficient range of complex structures with only occasional errors.
Band 9.0 Answer
Sample Answer:
The role of extended families in child-rearing has been a contentious issue, with proponents advocating for the comprehensive support system they provide, while critics argue that nuclear families offer a more intimate and focused environment. Proponents of extended families contend that the presence of multiple generations under one roof offers a robust support network for child-rearing. For instance, grandparents can provide childcare, enabling parents to pursue their careers without guilt. Moreover, children in extended families benefit from the collective wisdom and experience of their elders, which can foster their emotional and social development. Conversely, supporters of nuclear families argue that a smaller family unit allows for more focused attention and stronger parent-child bonds. With fewer family members, parents can dedicate more time and resources to their children's upbringing. Additionally, nuclear families often experience fewer conflicts due to their smaller size. In my view, while extended families offer certain advantages, nuclear families provide a more conducive environment for raising children due to their smaller size and fewer potential conflicts. Furthermore, the intimacy of nuclear families fosters a stronger emotional bond between parents and children, which is crucial for a child's emotional well-being.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position throughout the response and extends and supports main trends, divisions, and implications.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention; rare minor errors occur but they do not impede understanding.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of complex structures with full flexibility and precision; errors are rare.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Comprehensive (adjective): including all or nearly all elements or aspects of something.
- Example: A comprehensive support system.
- Collective (adjective): done by people acting as a group.
- Example: Collective wisdom and experience.
- Foster (verb): to encourage the development of something, especially something desirable.
- Example: Foster a sense of community.
- Intimate (adjective): involving close or familiar observation or association.
- Example: An intimate family dynamic.
- Conducive (adjective): making a certain situation or outcome likely or possible.
- Example: A conducive environment for raising children.
- Robust (adjective): strong and healthy; vigorous.
- Example: A robust support network.
- Contentious (adjective): causing or likely to cause an argument; controversial.
- Example: A contentious issue.
- Proponent (noun): a person who advocates for a cause or proposal.
- Example: Proponents of extended families.
- Critic (noun): a person who expresses a reasoned opinion on any matter, especially involving a judgment of its value, truth, righteousness, beauty, or technique.
- Example: Critics argue that nuclear families offer a more intimate environment.
- Guilt (noun): the cognitive state in which a person feels responsible for a harmful event, especially for a moral or legal violation.
- Example: Parents can pursue their careers without guilt.
- Emotional well-being (noun phrase): a state of psychological well-being in which an individual is able to cope with the normal stresses of life.
- Example: Crucial for a child's emotional well-being.
- Upbringing (noun): the way in which a child is cared for and taught how to behave while it is growing up.
- Example: Dedicate more time and resources to their children's upbringing.
- Multifaceted (adjective): having many different aspects or features.
- Example: A multifaceted debate.
- Collective wisdom (noun phrase): the accumulated knowledge and experience of a group of people.
- Example: Benefit from the collective wisdom of their elders.
- Emotional development (noun phrase): the process by which a person learns to understand, express, and manage their emotions.
- Example: Foster their emotional and social development.
- Social development (noun phrase): the process by which a person learns to interact with others and function within society.
- Example: Foster their emotional and social development.
- Robust support network (noun phrase): a strong and reliable system of support.
- Example: Offers a robust support network for child-rearing.
- Collective wisdom and experience (noun phrase): the accumulated knowledge and experience of a group of people.
- Example: Benefit from the collective wisdom and experience of their elders.
- Emotional and social development (noun phrase): the process by which a person learns to understand, express, and manage their emotions and interact with others.
- Example: Foster their emotional and social development.
- Intimate family dynamic (noun phrase): a close and familiar relationship within a family.
- Example: Allows for more focused attention and stronger parent-child bonds.
Common Mistakes
- Vague Language: Using general statements without specific examples or details.
- Lack of Clear Position: Failing to present a clear opinion or stance on the issue.
- Poor Cohesion: Using cohesive devices incorrectly or not using them at all, leading to a disjointed response.
- Limited Vocabulary: Using a restricted range of vocabulary, which can make the response seem repetitive and uninteresting.
- Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical mistakes that impede understanding.
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