IELTS Writing Task 2: Extended Families – Band 7.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Some people think that it is better for extended families to live together. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
Model Answers with Scoring Breakdown
Band 6.0 Answer
The idea of a family living together is a good one, but there are some problems.
Firstly, there are many good things about extended families living together. For example, the grandparents can help to look after the children while the parents are at work. This is good because the children have someone to take care of them and the parents can work without worrying. Also, it can be cheaper because they share the house and food. Another good thing is that the family can spend more time together, which is good for relationships.
However, there are some bad things too. For one, it can be hard to live with so many people in one house. There might not be enough space and people can argue about things like who does the chores. Also, the grandparents might be too old to look after the children properly. If they get sick, it will be hard for everyone.
In conclusion, living together as an extended family has good and bad points. It is important to think about these things before making a decision.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 5 – Presents a clear position but with limited development.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6 –Uses some connecting words but some points are not clearly connected.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 6 – Uses some less common vocabulary but with some errors in word choice and collocation.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6 – Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms but with frequent errors.
Band 7.0 Answer
The trend of extended families living together has become increasingly common, and this phenomenon brings both benefits and drawbacks.
On the positive side, living together can strengthen family bonds. For instance, grandparents can play a significant role in childcare, providing emotional support and sharing family responsibilities. Additionally, pooling resources can alleviate financial burdens, as expenses such as housing and groceries can be shared among family members. Furthermore, living together allows for more frequent interactions, which can foster a sense of unity and mutual support.
However, there are also potential downsides. One major issue is the lack of privacy, as family members may find it challenging to have personal space in a crowded household. Conflicts can arise over household chores, financial decisions, and differing lifestyles, leading to tension and misunderstandings. Additionally, older family members may struggle with the physical demands of caring for young children, which can create additional stress.
In conclusion, while extended families living together can offer significant advantages, it is essential to consider the potential challenges and ensure that all family members are willing to compromise and communicate effectively.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 7 – Presents a clear position with some development and supports it with relevant, extended ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7 – Uses a mix of cohesive devices effectively, but some points may not be clearly connected.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 7 – Uses some less common lexical items with some flexibility but with some errors in word choice and collocation.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7 – Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors in sentence formation.
Band 8.0 Answer
The notion of extended families residing under one roof has gained traction in recent years, presenting a myriad of advantages and disadvantages.
One of the primary benefits is the emotional and practical support that family members can provide one another. For example, grandparents can assist with childcare, allowing parents to pursue their careers without the added stress of finding reliable daycare. Moreover, shared living expenses can significantly reduce financial strain, as costs such as rent, utilities, and groceries can be divided among family members. Additionally, living together fosters a strong sense of community and mutual support, which can be particularly valuable in times of crisis.
Conversely, there are several potential drawbacks to consider. One significant issue is the potential for conflicts to arise due to differing opinions on household management, financial decisions, and personal habits. Living in close quarters can also lead to a lack of privacy, which may be challenging for some individuals. Furthermore, older family members may struggle with the physical and emotional demands of caring for young children, which can create additional stress and tension within the household.
In conclusion, while the benefits of extended families living together are numerous, it is crucial to weigh these against the potential challenges and ensure that all family members are committed to maintaining open communication and mutual respect.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 8 – Presents a clear position with fully developed ideas and supports it with relevant, extended ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8 – Uses a range of cohesive devices effectively to guide the reader through the response.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 8 – Uses a wide range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items and some flexibility.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8 – Uses a wide range of complex sentence forms with some errors in sentence formation.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Phenomenon (noun) – A fact or situation that is observed to exist or happen, especially one that is not expected or typical. Example: The phenomenon of extended families living together is becoming more common.
- Alleviate (verb) – To make something less severe or intense. Example: Pooling resources can alleviate financial burdens.
- Foster (verb) – To encourage the development of something, especially something desirable. Example: Living together fosters a sense of unity and mutual support.
- Traction (noun) – A firm grip or reliable contact. Example: The notion of extended families residing under one roof has gained traction in recent years.
- Myriad (adjective) – A very large number of things. Example: The notion of extended families residing under one roof presents a myriad of advantages and disadvantages.
- Practical support (noun phrase) – Assistance that is useful and helpful in a real-world context. Example: Family members can provide practical support to one another.
- Reliable daycare (noun phrase) – Childcare that can be trusted to be consistent and dependable. Example: Grandparents can assist with childcare, allowing parents to pursue their careers without the added stress of finding reliable daycare.
- Financial strain (noun phrase) – The pressure or burden caused by financial difficulties. Example: Shared living expenses can significantly reduce financial strain.
- Crisis (noun) – A time of intense difficulty or danger. Example: Living together fosters a strong sense of community and mutual support, which can be particularly valuable in times of crisis.
- Close quarters (noun phrase) – A confined or limited space. Example: Living in close quarters can lead to a lack of privacy.
- Emotional demands (noun phrase) – The psychological and emotional pressures that come with caring for others. Example: Older family members may struggle with the emotional demands of caring for young children.
- Commitment (noun) – A promise or pledge to do something. Example: It is crucial to ensure that all family members are committed to maintaining open communication and mutual respect.
- Weigh against (phrasal verb) – To consider the relative importance or value of different factors. Example: It is crucial to weigh the benefits against the potential challenges.
- Mutual respect (noun phrase) – A feeling of admiration or consideration for someone that is shared by both parties. Example: It is crucial to ensure that all family members are committed to maintaining open communication and mutual respect.
- Household management (noun phrase) – The organization and oversight of the daily running of a household. Example: Conflicts can arise over differing opinions on household management.
- Personal habits (noun phrase) – The routines and behaviors that individuals engage in regularly. Example: Conflicts can arise over differing opinions on personal habits.
- Open communication (noun phrase) – The free and honest exchange of information and ideas. Example: It is crucial to ensure that all family members are committed to maintaining open communication and mutual respect.
- Community (noun) – A group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common. Example: Living together fosters a strong sense of community and mutual support.
- Childcare (noun) – The care and supervision of children. Example: Grandparents can assist with childcare, allowing parents to pursue their careers without the added stress of finding reliable daycare.
- Careers (noun) – A person's job or profession, especially when considered in terms of its progress or development. Example: Grandparents can assist with childcare, allowing parents to pursue their careers without the added stress of finding reliable daycare.
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Lack of Clear Position – Many students fail to present a clear position on the topic, resulting in a vague and unfocused response.
- Inadequate Development of Ideas – Students often present ideas without sufficient development, leading to a shallow and unconvincing argument.
- Poor Vocabulary Choice – Using overly simple or repetitive vocabulary can lower the lexical resource score.
- Grammatical Errors – Frequent grammatical mistakes can detract from the overall quality of the response and lower the grammatical range and accuracy score.
- Weak Coherence and Cohesion – Poor use of connecting words and a lack of logical flow can make the response difficult to follow and lower the coherence and cohesion score.
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