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Get a Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 sample answer on exercise and sport with expert scoring breakdown, vocabulary lists and common mistakes.
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Get a Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 sample answer on exercise and sport with expert scoring breakdown, vocabulary lists and common mistakes.
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Some people believe that exercise and sport have become a multi-billion dollar business, with too much focus on winning and money. Others feel that doing sports is more important for physical and mental health. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but does not extend or support it sufficiently Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Uses some cohesive devices but ordering of information is unclear in places Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses some less common vocabulary but with some errors Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Makes frequent grammatical errors that obscure meaning
Some people think that sport has become too much about money. They believe that the focus on winning is bad. Others say that sport is important for health. I agree with this second view.
Firstly, sport is good for our bodies. When we do exercise, our muscles get stronger. Our hearts also get healthier. This is very important because many people have heart problems. If more people did sport, they would be healthier.
Secondly, sport is good for our minds. When we do sport, we feel happier. This is because our bodies make chemicals that make us feel good. Also, sport can help us relax. Many people have stressful jobs. Sport can help them forget about their problems.
However, some people say that sport is too focused on money. They think that this is bad because it makes people cheat. For example, some athletes take drugs to win. This is not good for sport. But I think that the health benefits are more important.
Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position throughout the response Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively but there may be some under- or over-use Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses some less common vocabulary but with some errors Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Makes some grammatical errors but they do not impede communication
The commercialization of sport has led some to argue that it has become too focused on profit and winning. While I agree that this is a concern, I believe that the health benefits of exercise and sport outweigh these negative aspects.
On the one hand, the financial aspects of sport cannot be ignored. The global sports industry is worth billions of dollars, and this has led to increased pressure on athletes to perform. Some may argue that this focus on winning has led to unethical behavior, such as the use of performance-enhancing drugs. Moreover, the high cost of participating in some sports can make them inaccessible to many people, creating a divide between those who can afford to participate and those who cannot.
However, I believe that the health benefits of exercise and sport are more important. Regular physical activity has been shown to reduce the risk of chronic diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. Additionally, exercise has been shown to improve mental health, reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety. Furthermore, participating in sports can teach valuable life skills such as teamwork, discipline, and resilience.
In conclusion, while the commercialization of sport is a valid concern, I believe that the health benefits of exercise and sport are more important. It is crucial to find ways to make sports more accessible and to promote fair play, but we should not overlook the many benefits that sport can bring to our physical and mental well-being.
Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position throughout the response with relevant, extended support Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with a clear progression throughout Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with frequent error-free sentences
The notion that sport has become excessively commercialized is a contentious issue. While I concede that the Focus on monetary gain and victory has become prevalent, I firmly believe that the positive impacts on physical and mental health outweigh these drawbacks.
Proponents of the view that sport has become too focused on money argue that this has led to a decline in the spirit of fair play. The pressure to win can lead to unethical behavior, such as match-fixing or the use of performance-enhancing drugs. Furthermore, the high costs associated with participating in some sports can create a barrier to entry for many people, exacerbating social inequalities.
However, the benefits of regular exercise and sport participation are well-documented. Physically, regular activity can help prevent a range of health conditions, from heart disease to obesity. Mentally, sport can reduce stress and anxiety, improve mood, and boost self-esteem. Moreover, participation in sports can foster social connections and a sense of belonging, which are crucial for overall well-being.
To mitigate the negative aspects of sport's commercialization, I believe that several measures could be taken. Firstly, sports governing bodies should implement stricter regulations to prevent unethical behavior. Secondly, initiatives should be put in place to make sports more accessible to all, regardless of socioeconomic background. This could include subsidized programs or the provision of free facilities in underserved communities.
In conclusion, while the commercialization of sport presents certain challenges, I believe that the health benefits of exercise and sport participation are paramount. By taking steps to promote fair play and accessibility, we can ensure that sport continues to have a positive impact on individuals and societies.
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