IELTS Writing Task 2: Endangered Species - Band 7.5 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Some people think that governments should spend money on protecting endangered species, while others believe that money should be spent on human needs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
The government should protect endangered species because they are important for the environment. However, some people think that money should be spent on human needs. I agree with both views.
Endangered species are very important because they help the environment. For example, bees help plants grow, and if they disappear, many plants will die. Also, some animals are used for medicine, so if they become extinct, we cannot use them anymore. Therefore, governments should spend money to protect them.
On the other hand, some people think that money should be spent on human needs. For example, in poor countries, people do not have enough food or clean water. If the government spends money on protecting animals, they cannot help these people. Therefore, it is better to spend money on human needs.
In conclusion, I agree with both views. Governments should protect endangered species, but they should also help people who are poor.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but does not extend or support it sufficiently.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Uses some cohesive devices but these are often mechanical or overused.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses a limited range of vocabulary with some attempt at less common vocabulary.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with frequent errors.
Band 7.5 Answer
The preservation of endangered species is a contentious issue, with advocates emphasizing ecological balance and opponents prioritizing human welfare. This essay will explore both perspectives before presenting a personal stance.
Proponents of wildlife conservation argue that endangered species play pivotal roles in maintaining ecological equilibrium. For instance, apex predators regulate prey populations, preventing overgrazing and habitat degradation. Moreover, biodiversity is crucial for ecosystem resilience, as diverse species contribute to disease resistance and environmental stability. Financial investment in conservation efforts, such as habitat restoration and anti-poaching measures, is therefore justified to safeguard these ecological services.
Conversely, critics contend that resources should be allocated to address pressing human needs, particularly in developing regions. Poverty, malnutrition, and inadequate healthcare are pervasive issues that demand immediate attention. Funds earmarked for wildlife protection could be redirected to build schools, hospitals, and infrastructure, thereby improving human living standards. This perspective underscores the moral imperative to prioritize human welfare over animal conservation.
In my view, a balanced approach is essential. While human needs are undeniably important, the long-term benefits of biodiversity conservation cannot be overlooked. Governments should allocate resources to both areas, ensuring that neither ecological sustainability nor human development is compromised. For example, integrated conservation and development projects can create sustainable livelihoods for local communities while protecting endangered species.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 7.5 - Presents a clear position throughout the response with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.5 - Uses cohesive devices effectively, though there may be some unnecessary repetition or awkward phrasing.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 7.5 - Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items used appropriately.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.5 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with occasional errors in complex sentences.
Band 9.0 Answer
The debate surrounding the allocation of government funds for endangered species conservation versus human needs is multifaceted, necessitating a nuanced examination of both viewpoints.
Advocates for wildlife preservation posit that endangered species are integral to ecosystem stability and human well-being. For example, pollinators such as bees are indispensable for agricultural productivity, and their decline could precipitate food shortages. Additionally, many pharmaceutical compounds are derived from biodiversity, underscoring the economic and medical value of conservation efforts. Furthermore, ecotourism generates substantial revenue, providing a compelling economic rationale for protecting endangered species and their habitats.
Conversely, proponents of human-centric resource allocation argue that addressing basic human needs should take precedence. In many regions, inadequate access to education, healthcare, and sanitation perpetuates cycles of poverty and suffering. Investing in these areas can yield immediate and tangible improvements in quality of life, justifying the diversion of funds from conservation initiatives. Moreover, the moral argument that human welfare should supersede animal preservation is compelling, particularly in the context of global inequality.
In my opinion, a balanced approach is optimal. Governments should prioritize human needs while simultaneously investing in conservation. Integrated strategies, such as community-based conservation programs, can align ecological and human development goals. For instance, sustainable tourism initiatives can generate income for local communities while promoting wildlife protection. By adopting such approaches, governments can address both human needs and environmental conservation effectively.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position throughout the response with fully extended and supported ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively, with a clear progression of ideas and no repetition or awkward phrasing.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with less common lexical items used appropriately and naturally.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of complex sentence forms with frequent error-free sentences.
Key Vocabulary
- Endangered species (noun) - Species at risk of extinction.
- Example: The government should allocate funds to protect endangered species.
- Ecological balance (noun) - The state of natural balance in the environment.
- Example: Endangered species play a crucial role in maintaining ecological balance.
- Biodiversity (noun) - The variety of plant and animal life in a particular habitat.
- Example: Biodiversity is essential for ecosystem resilience.
- Conservation efforts (noun) - Activities aimed at protecting and preserving the environment.
- Example: Financial investment in conservation efforts is necessary to safeguard endangered species.
- Apex predators (noun) - Predators at the top of the food chain.
- Example: Apex predators regulate prey populations, preventing overgrazing.
- Habitat degradation (noun) - The deterioration of the natural environment.
- Example: Overgrazing can lead to habitat degradation.
- Ecotourism (noun) - Tourism directed toward exotic, often threatened, natural environments.
- Example: Ecotourism generates substantial revenue and promotes wildlife protection.
- Pharmaceutical compounds (noun) - Chemical substances used in the preparation of medicines.
- Example: Many pharmaceutical compounds are derived from biodiversity.
- Integrated conservation (noun) - The combination of different conservation strategies to achieve common goals.
- Example: Integrated conservation and development projects can create sustainable livelihoods.
- Community-based conservation (noun) - Conservation efforts led by local communities.
- Example: Community-based conservation programs align ecological and human development goals.
- Sustainable tourism (noun) - Tourism that meets the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs.
- Example: Sustainable tourism initiatives generate income for local communities.
- Pollinators (noun) - Animals that transfer pollen from one plant to another, facilitating fertilization.
- Example: Pollinators such as bees are indispensable for agricultural productivity.
- Economic rationale (noun) - The reasoning behind economic decisions.
- Example: The economic rationale for protecting endangered species is compelling.
- Moral imperative (noun) - A compelling justification for a belief or action based on ethics.
- Example: The moral imperative to prioritize human welfare is compelling.
- Global inequality (noun) - The unequal distribution of resources and opportunities worldwide.
- Example: The context of global inequality underscores the need to address human needs.
- Immediate and tangible improvements (noun) - Quick and noticeable enhancements.
- Example: Investing in human needs can yield immediate and tangible improvements in quality of life.
- Immediate attention (noun) - Urgent focus or action.
- Example: Poverty, malnutrition, and inadequate healthcare demand immediate attention.
- Long-term benefits (noun) - Advantages that occur over an extended period.
- Example: The long-term benefits of biodiversity conservation cannot be overlooked.
- Integrated strategies (noun) - Combined approaches to achieve a common goal.
- Example: Integrated strategies can align ecological and human development goals.
- Sustainable livelihoods (noun) - Livelihoods that can be maintained without depleting natural resources.
- Example: Community-based conservation programs can create sustainable livelihoods.
Common Mistakes
- Lack of Clear Position: Many students fail to present a clear stance on the issue, resulting in a vague or unclear response.
- Insufficient Support: Some responses present ideas without adequate support or examples, leading to a lower score in Task Response.
- Poor Coherence and Cohesion: Students often struggle with organizing their ideas logically, resulting in a disjointed or confusing response.
- Limited Vocabulary: Using a limited range of vocabulary can result in a lower score in Lexical Resource. Students should aim to use a variety of words and phrases to express their ideas.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can detract from the overall quality of the response. Students should aim to use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with minimal errors.
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