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See a Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 sample answer about endangered species with full scoring breakdown, vocabulary, and common mistakes to avoid
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See a Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 sample answer about endangered species with full scoring breakdown, vocabulary, and common mistakes to avoid
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Topic: Some people think governments should spend more money protecting endangered species while others believe there are more important issues to address. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people believe that governments should spend money protecting animals that are in danger of disappearing. However, other people think there are more important problems that need attention. In my opinion, I think both sides have valid points but I will discuss both views.
On one hand, protecting endangered species is important because they are part of our natural world. If we lose these animals, it can have a negative impact on the environment. For example, if a certain type of bird disappears, the plants that it pollinates may also disappear. This can create a chain reaction that affects many other plants and animals. Additionally, some endangered species have medical uses. For instance, certain plants and animals are used in traditional medicine and modern pharmaceuticals. If these species disappear, we may lose potential cures for diseases.
On the other hand, there are other important issues that governments need to address. For example, poverty is a major problem in many countries. If people do not have enough money to buy food or pay for education, it can have a negative impact on their lives. Additionally, crime is a problem in many cities. If governments do not address these issues, they can become worse over time.
In conclusion, I think governments should spend money protecting endangered species but they should also address other important issues. It is important to find a balance between protecting the environment and addressing social problems.
Task Response (TR): 6.0 - Presents a position but with some inconsistencies. The arguments are relevant but underdeveloped. Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - The response is organized but with some unclear progression between ideas. Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses a mix of appropriate and limited vocabulary. Some errors in word choice and collocation. Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. Some errors in grammar and punctuation.
The question of whether governments should allocate more funds to protect endangered species or focus on other pressing issues is a contentious one. While I believe that protecting endangered species is crucial, I also acknowledge the importance of addressing other societal problems.
Proponents of increased funding for endangered species protection argue that these animals play vital roles in their ecosystems. For instance, predators help control prey populations, while pollinators like bees are essential for plant reproduction. Moreover, many endangered species possess unique genetic traits that could hold the key to future medical breakthroughs. For example, the venom of the Gila monster has been used to develop a life-saving drug for diabetes patients. Therefore, losing these species could have far-reaching consequences for both the environment and human health.
However, critics point out that there are other urgent issues that demand government attention. Poverty, for instance, affects millions of people worldwide, limiting their access to education, healthcare, and other basic necessities. According to the World Bank, nearly 10% of the world's population lives in extreme poverty, surviving on less than $2.15 a day. Additionally, crime rates are rising in many urban areas, creating unsafe living conditions for residents. Addressing these issues requires significant financial resources, which could potentially divert funds away from conservation efforts.
In my view, a balanced approach is necessary. Governments should prioritize funding for both conservation and social programs. For example, they could invest in renewable energy sources to reduce environmental impact while also implementing initiatives to alleviate poverty and improve public safety. By tackling these issues simultaneously, governments can create a more sustainable and equitable future for all.
Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with some development. Addresses the task but may have occasional inaccuracies or irrelevant details. Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Uses a mix of cohesive devices effectively but may occasionally use them inappropriately. Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a mix of appropriate and varied vocabulary. Some less common lexical items are used but with some inaccuracies. Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. Some errors in grammar and punctuation but generally effective.
The debate surrounding the allocation of government funds for the protection of endangered species versus other pressing societal issues is a complex and multifaceted one. While I firmly believe that conservation efforts should be a priority, I also recognize the necessity of addressing other critical problems.
Those advocating for increased funding for endangered species protection contend that these animals are integral to the functioning of their respective ecosystems. For example, keystone species like wolves play a pivotal role in maintaining the balance of their habitats. Furthermore, many endangered species possess unique biological traits that could potentially lead to significant scientific advancements. The Tasmanian devil, for instance, has a unique immune system that has captivated researchers' interest due to its potential applications in human medicine. Thus, the loss of these species could have profound implications for both the environment and scientific progress.
Conversely, opponents argue that there are more pressing issues that require immediate attention. For example, climate change is exacerbating natural disasters such as hurricanes, wildfires, and floods, which disproportionately affect vulnerable communities. According to the United Nations, these disasters have displaced millions of people worldwide, exacerbating existing social inequalities. Additionally, mental health issues are on the rise, with the World Health Organization reporting that nearly one in five adults experiences a mental health condition each year. Addressing these challenges requires substantial financial resources, which could potentially compete with funds allocated for conservation.
In my opinion, a balanced approach is essential. Governments should prioritize funding for both conservation and initiatives aimed at mitigating the impacts of climate change and improving mental health services. For instance, they could invest in renewable energy infrastructure to reduce carbon emissions while also expanding access to mental health care. By adopting a comprehensive strategy, governments can effectively address multiple pressing issues simultaneously.
Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with comprehensive development. Addresses all parts of the task with a clear progression and supports ideas with relevant examples. Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Uses a mix of cohesive devices effectively, though some may be overused. Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items used appropriately. Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms effectively. Some complex sentence forms may contain errors.
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