IELTS Writing Task 2: Endangered Species - Band 6.5 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Paraphrased Prompt: Some people argue that governments should invest more resources in protecting endangered species, while others believe that limited funds should be allocated to other pressing issues. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.5 Answer
Scored as: TR: 6, CC: 6, LR: 6, GRA: 7
Text:
There is a growing concern about the decline of various animal species around the world. Some individuals believe that governments should allocate more funds to protect these endangered species, while others argue that there are more pressing issues that require attention.
On one hand, protecting endangered species is crucial for maintaining biodiversity. Many animals play vital roles in their ecosystems, and their extinction can lead to unforeseen consequences. For instance, the disappearance of bees could severely impact agriculture. Additionally, some endangered species have potential medical benefits that have not yet been discovered. Therefore, investing in their protection could yield significant benefits in the future.
On the other hand, some people argue that there are more urgent issues that require government funding. For example, poverty and education are pressing problems that affect millions of people. Allocating funds to these areas could improve the quality of life for many individuals. Moreover, some argue that protecting endangered species is not a priority for governments, as it does not directly benefit the population.
In my opinion, governments should prioritize protecting endangered species. While there are indeed pressing issues that require attention, the long-term benefits of preserving biodiversity cannot be overlooked. Governments should strive to find a balance between addressing immediate needs and investing in the future.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): The response presents a clear position and addresses the task, but the arguments could be developed further.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): The response is logically organized, but there are some lapses in coherence and cohesion.
- Lexical Resource (LR): The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there are some errors in word choice and collocation.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): The grammar is mostly accurate, but there are some errors in sentence structure and tense usage.
Band 7.0 Answer
Scored as: TR: 7, CC: 7, LR: 7, GRA: 7
Text:
The issue of endangered species has gained significant attention in recent years. While some advocate for increased government funding to protect these species, others contend that limited resources should be directed towards more immediate concerns.
Proponents of protecting endangered species argue that biodiversity is essential for the health of ecosystems. The loss of even one species can have a ripple effect, disrupting the balance of nature. For example, the extinction of a keystone species can lead to the collapse of an entire ecosystem. Furthermore, many endangered species have potential medical applications that have not yet been explored. Investing in their protection could lead to groundbreaking discoveries in medicine.
Conversely, those who oppose increased funding for endangered species protection argue that there are more pressing issues that require attention. Poverty, education, and healthcare are just a few examples of areas where government funding could make a significant impact. Allocating resources to these issues could improve the quality of life for millions of people. Additionally, some argue that protecting endangered species is not a priority for governments, as it does not directly benefit the population.
In my view, governments should prioritize protecting endangered species. While there are indeed pressing issues that require attention, the long-term benefits of preserving biodiversity cannot be overlooked. Governments should strive to find a balance between addressing immediate needs and investing in the future.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): The response presents a clear position and addresses the task, with arguments that are well-developed and supported.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): The response is logically organized, with clear progression and cohesive devices.
- Lexical Resource (LR): The vocabulary is varied and appropriate, with some less common lexical items used effectively.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): The grammar is mostly accurate, with a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
Band 8.0 Answer
Scored as: TR: 8, CC: 8, LR: 8, GRA: 8
Text:
The plight of endangered species has become a contentious issue, with proponents of increased government funding clashing with those who prioritize other pressing concerns.
Advocates for the protection of endangered species contend that biodiversity is the cornerstone of healthy ecosystems. The loss of a single species can trigger a cascade of negative effects, ultimately leading to ecosystem collapse. For instance, the extinction of the passenger pigeon in the early 20th century had unforeseen consequences for North American forests. Moreover, many endangered species possess unique genetic traits that could hold the key to future medical breakthroughs. Investing in their protection could yield invaluable benefits for humanity.
Conversely, opponents of increased funding for endangered species protection argue that there are more urgent issues that demand attention. Poverty, education, and healthcare are just a few examples of areas where government funding could make a tangible difference. Allocating resources to these issues could alleviate suffering and improve the quality of life for millions of people. Additionally, some contend that protecting endangered species is not a priority for governments, as it does not directly benefit the population.
In my opinion, governments should prioritize protecting endangered species. While there are indeed pressing issues that require attention, the long-term benefits of preserving biodiversity cannot be overstated. Governments should strive to strike a balance between addressing immediate needs and investing in the future.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): The response presents a clear position and addresses the task, with arguments that are well-developed, supported, and extended.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): The response is logically organized, with clear progression and a wide range of cohesive devices used effectively.
- Lexical Resource (LR): The vocabulary is varied and sophisticated, with a wide range of less common lexical items used appropriately.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): The grammar is accurate, with a mix of simple and complex sentence forms used effectively.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Endangered: in danger of dying out
- Example: Many species are now endangered due to human activities.
- Biodiversity: the variety of plant and animal life in the world or in a particular habitat
- Example: Protecting biodiversity is crucial for maintaining healthy ecosystems.
- Ecosystem: a biological community of interacting organisms and their physical environment
- Example: The loss of a keystone species can disrupt the entire ecosystem.
- Extinction: the state or process of being or becoming extinct
- Example: The extinction of the dodo bird was caused by human activities.
- Keystone species: a species that has a disproportionately large effect on its environment relative to its abundance
- Example: Wolves are a keystone species in many ecosystems.
- Ripple effect: a situation in which an initial event results in a chain of related events
- Example: The extinction of a single species can have a ripple effect on the entire ecosystem.
- Groundbreaking: introducing or using new ideas; innovative
- Example: The discovery of penicillin was a groundbreaking achievement in medicine.
- Allocate: to distribute something as needed or desired
- Example: Governments should allocate more funds to protect endangered species.
- Immediate: happening or done without delay
- Example: There are more immediate concerns that require attention.
- Long-term: continuing or existing for a long time into the future
- Example: The long-term benefits of preserving biodiversity cannot be overlooked.
- Strike a balance: to find a compromise or middle ground
- Example: Governments should strive to strike a balance between addressing immediate needs and investing in the future.
- Alleviate: to make something bad less severe
- Example: Allocating resources to poverty and education could alleviate suffering.
- Tangible: clear and real, not imaginary
- Example: Allocating resources to pressing issues could make a tangible difference.
- Contend: to maintain or assert in a debate or argument
- Example: Opponents of increased funding contend that there are more urgent issues.
- Overstate: to state something in a way that makes it seem larger or more important than it really is
- Example: The long-term benefits of preserving biodiversity cannot be overstated.
- Cascade: a process in which a number of different events or changes happen quickly one after another
- Example: The loss of a single species can trigger a cascade of negative effects.
- Trigger: to cause something to happen
- Example: The extinction of the passenger pigeon triggered unforeseen consequences.
- Breakthrough: an important discovery or development
- Example: Many endangered species possess unique genetic traits that could lead to medical breakthroughs.
- Invaluable: extremely useful
- Example: Investing in the protection of endangered species could yield invaluable benefits.
- Clash: to disagree or argue
- Example: Proponents of increased government funding clash with those who prioritize other concerns.
Common Mistakes
- Lack of Clear Position: Some students fail to present a clear position on the issue, making their response unclear and difficult to follow.
- Inadequate Development of Arguments: Students often present arguments that are not well-developed or supported, leading to a lower score in the Task Response criterion.
- Poor Coherence and Cohesion: Some responses lack logical organization and clear progression, making them difficult to follow.
- Limited Vocabulary: Students often use a limited range of vocabulary, leading to a lower score in the Lexical Resource criterion.
- Grammatical Errors: Some responses contain frequent grammatical errors, which can detract from the overall quality of the response.
- Off-Topic Responses: Students sometimes go off-topic, discussing issues that are not relevant to the prompt.
- Repetition: Some responses contain repetitive language, which can make them less engaging and lower the score in the Coherence and Cohesion criterion.
- Incorrect Use of Tenses: Students often make errors in tense usage, which can make their responses confusing and difficult to follow.
- Lack of Specific Examples: Some responses lack specific examples to support the arguments, making them less convincing.
- Poor Time Management: Students often spend too much time on the introduction or conclusion, leaving insufficient time to develop their arguments fully.
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