IELTS Writing Task 2: Diet And Nutrition – Band 6.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Diet and nutrition are becoming increasingly important in today's society. Some people believe that governments should regulate what people eat. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Band 6.0 Sample Answer
Some people think governments should control what citizens eat to improve health. I agree with this to some extent because obesity is big problem now.
Firstly, many people eat unhealthy food like chips and soda. These foods make people fat and sick. If government stop selling these foods, people will be healthier. For example, in some countries, government put tax on sugar drinks. This make people drink less soda and eat better.
However, I don’t agree with too much control. People should have freedom to choose what they eat. If government tell people what to eat, it is like living in old times where government control everything. Also, some people like eating unhealthy food sometimes. It is not good to ban everything.
In conclusion, government should do something to help people eat healthier but not control too much. They can make unhealthy food more expensive or teach people about nutrition. This way, people can still choose but make better choices.
Scoring Breakdown
Task Response (Band 6)
- Presents a relevant position but with some limitations in development.
- Addresses the task but with some inconsistencies in argumentation.
- Provides some relevant, supporting ideas but these are not always fully extended or supported.
Coherence and Cohesion (Band 6)
- Arranges information and ideas coherently but there may be some unclear logical progression.
- Uses cohesive devices but not always appropriately or effectively.
- May produce some unclear referential connections.
Lexical Resource (Band 6)
- Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic.
- May make some errors in word choice, word form, or idiomatic use that can cause some difficulty for the reader.
- Attempts some less common vocabulary but this may not always be accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (Band 6)
- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
- Makes frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that may obscure meaning in places.
- Attempts complex sentence structures but these may contain errors.
Vocabulary Highlights
| Word/phrase | Definition | Example Collocation | |-------------|-------------|---------------------| | Obesity | The condition of being grossly fat or overweight | Rising obesity rates | | Regulate | Control or supervise something, especially by means of rules | Government regulations | | Unhealthy | Not beneficial to a person's well-being | Unhealthy food choices | | Tax | A compulsory financial charge or some other type of levy | Sugar tax | | Freedom | The power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants | Freedom of choice | | Ban | Officially or legally prohibit something | Ban on junk food | | Nutrition | The process of providing or obtaining the food necessary for health and growth | Nutritional value | | Expensive | Costing a lot of money | More expensive options | | Relevant | Closely connected or appropriate to the matter at hand | Relevant position | | Inconsistencies | Lack of consistency, agreement, or regularity | Inconsistencies in argumentation |
Common Mistakes in Diet and Nutrition Essays
- Overgeneralizing: Making sweeping statements without specific examples or evidence.
- Weak Thesis Statements: Failing to clearly state your position in the introduction.
- Poor Vocabulary Choice: Using vague or incorrect words that weaken the argument.
- Lack of Balance: Not addressing both sides of the argument sufficiently.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent errors that obscure meaning or make the essay difficult to understand.
How to Improve to Band 7.0 and Above
- Develop Your Arguments: Provide more detailed examples and explanations to support your points.
- Improve Cohesion: Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively.
- Expand Vocabulary: Incorporate a greater variety of academic vocabulary and use it accurately.
- Enhance Grammar: Focus on using complex sentences correctly and reducing grammatical errors.
- Balanced Discussion: Ensure you address both sides of the argument equally and logically.
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