IELTS Writing Task 2: Death Penalty - Band 9.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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Full Prompt
Topic: Some people believe that the death penalty is an effective way to reduce crime, while others argue it is inhumane and should be abolished. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
The death penalty is good because it stops criminals from doing bad things again. Some people think it is bad because it hurts people, but it is necessary. I believe the death penalty should stay because it makes people scared to commit crimes.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR) 4.0: Presents a position but with limited development. Concluding paragraph is missing.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC) 5.0: Ideas are arranged in paragraphs, but connections between them are basic.
- Lexical Resource (LR) 6.0: Uses some appropriate vocabulary but with frequent errors.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA) 6.0: Sentence structures are simple with frequent errors.
Band 7.0 Answer
The death penalty remains a contentious issue with strong arguments on both sides. Proponents argue that capital punishment serves as a deterrent, preventing potential criminals from committing heinous acts. For instance, countries with death penalty laws often report lower crime rates. However, opponents contend that this form of punishment is cruel and inhumane, violating basic human rights. They argue that no government should have the power to take someone's life. In my opinion, while the death penalty may deter some crimes, its ethical implications outweigh any potential benefits.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR) 6.0: Presents a clear position but with some development of arguments.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC) 6.0: Ideas are logically organized but with some awkward transitions.
- Lexical Resource (LR) 7.0: Uses a mix of appropriate and less precise vocabulary.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA) 7.0: Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with some errors.
Band 8.0 Answer
The debate surrounding the death penalty is multifaceted, encompassing moral, ethical, and practical considerations. Advocates for capital punishment assert that it acts as a powerful deterrent, reducing the incidence of violent crimes. Statistical evidence from certain jurisdictions suggests a correlation between the implementation of the death penalty and lower crime rates. Furthermore, proponents argue that it provides a sense of justice and closure for victims' families. Conversely, opponents highlight the irreversible nature of the death penalty, emphasizing the risk of executing innocent individuals due to flawed legal processes. They also argue that it is a barbaric practice that devalues human life. In my view, while the death penalty may have some merits in deterring crime, the ethical concerns and potential for injustice make it an unacceptable form of punishment.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR) 7.0: Presents a clear position with developed arguments and examples.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC) 7.0: Ideas are logically organized with clear transitions.
- Lexical Resource (LR) 8.0: Uses a range of appropriate vocabulary with some less common lexical items.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA) 8.0: Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with occasional errors.
Band 9.0 Answer
The contentious issue of capital punishment elicits impassioned debates, with proponents and opponents presenting compelling arguments. Those in favor of the death penalty contend that it serves as a potent deterrent, inhibiting potential criminals from committing grave offenses. Empirical data from various jurisdictions reveal a notable decrease in violent crime rates following the enforcement of capital punishment. Additionally, proponents assert that it delivers a sense of retribution and solace to the grieving families of victims. Conversely, detractors posit that the death penalty is an inhumane and irreversible measure, susceptible to miscarriages of justice due to fallible legal systems. They argue that no civilized society should sanction the intentional taking of life, regardless of the circumstances. In my estimation, while the death penalty may exhibit some efficacy in crime prevention, its ethical ramifications and the specter of innocents being executed render it an indefensible practice. A more humane and just alternative would be life imprisonment without the possibility of parole, ensuring that offenders are permanently removed from society while upholding the sanctity of human life.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR) 9.0: Presents a clear position with fully developed arguments and relevant examples.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC) 9.0: Ideas are logically organized with clear transitions and progression.
- Lexical Resource (LR) 9.0: Uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary with precise, sophisticated lexical items.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA) 9.0: Uses a wide range of complex sentence structures with frequent error-free sentences.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Contentious (adj.): Controversial or disputed.
- Example: The issue of capital punishment remains highly contentious.
- Impassioned (adj.): Filled with strong emotion.
- Example: The debate elicited impassioned arguments from both sides.
- Potent (adj.): Having great power, effect, or influence.
- Example: The death penalty serves as a potent deterrent.
- Impassioned (adj.): Filled with strong emotion.
- Example: The debate elicited impassioned arguments from both sides.
- Inhibiting (verb): Restraining or preventing something.
- Example: Capital punishment inhibits potential criminals from committing grave offenses.
- Grave (adj.): Very serious or severe.
- Example: The death penalty deters criminals from committing grave offenses.
- Empirical (adj.): Based on observation or experience rather than theory.
- Example: Empirical data reveal a notable decrease in crime rates.
- Retribution (noun): Punishment inflicted on someone as vengeance for a wrong or criminal act.
- Example: The death penalty delivers a sense of retribution to victims' families.
- Inhumane (adj.): Lacking consideration for human suffering or hardship.
- Example: Opponents argue that the death penalty is an inhumane measure.
- Irreversible (adj.): Incapable of being reversed or undone.
- Example: The death penalty is an irreversible form of punishment.
- Sanction (verb): Give official permission or approval for an action.
- Example: No civilized society should sanction the intentional taking of life.
- Fallible (adj.): Capable of making mistakes or being wrong.
- Example: Legal systems are fallible and prone to errors.
- Specter (noun): A ghost or ghostlike image.
- Example: The specter of innocents being executed haunts the debate.
- Indefensible (adj.): Not capable of being defended or justified.
- Example: The death penalty is an indefensible practice.
- Sanctity (noun): The quality or state of being holy or sacred.
- Example: Life imprisonment upholds the sanctity of human life.
- Parole (noun): The temporary or permanent release of a prisoner before the expiration of a sentence.
- Example: Life imprisonment without the possibility of parole ensures permanent removal from society.
- Jurisdiction (noun): The official power to make legal decisions and judgments.
- Example: Empirical data from various jurisdictions reveal a notable decrease in crime rates.
- Deterrent (noun): A thing that discourages or is intended to discourage someone from doing something.
- Example: The death penalty serves as a potent deterrent.
- Flawed (adj.): Having faults or imperfections.
- Example: Legal processes can be flawed and lead to wrongful convictions.
- Barbaric (adj.): Savagely cruel or harsh.
- Example: Opponents argue that the death penalty is a barbaric practice.
Common Mistakes
- Overgeneralizing: Making sweeping statements without sufficient evidence or examples.
- Example: Avoid saying, "All countries with the death penalty have lower crime rates."
- Ignoring Counterarguments: Failing to address the opposing viewpoint fully.
- Example: Ensure you discuss both sides of the debate thoroughly.
- Weak Vocabulary Choices: Using basic or repetitive vocabulary instead of varied and precise words.
- Example: Instead of "bad," use "inhumane" or "cruel."
- Poor Sentence Structure: Relying on simple sentences and failing to use complex structures.
- Example: Combine ideas using conjunctions and relative clauses.
- Lack of Coherence: Failing to connect ideas logically within and between paragraphs.
- Example: Use transition phrases like "Furthermore," "However," and "In conclusion."
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