IELTS Writing Task 2: Death Penalty - Band 7.5 Sample with Full Breakdown
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Full Prompt
Some people argue that the death penalty is an effective way to reduce serious crime, while others believe that it is inhumane and should be abolished. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
The death penalty is a very controversial topic. Some people think it stops crime, but others say it's not right.
On one hand, people who support the death penalty say it makes criminals think twice. If they know they might die, they won't commit serious crimes. Also, it saves money because the government doesn't have to keep them in prison for life. Many countries still use it, like the United States and China.
But on the other hand, many people think the death penalty is wrong. It's like revenge, not justice. Also, sometimes innocent people get punished. There have been cases where people were executed but later found to be not guilty. Plus, it doesn't really stop crime. Countries without the death penalty often have lower crime rates.
I think the death penalty should be abolished. It's too risky and inhumane. There are better ways to punish criminals.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (5.0): Presents a position but with limited development. Some points are relevant but underdeveloped.
- Coherence & Cohesion (5.0): Ideas are organized but with some unclear progression. Cohesive devices are used but sometimes inappropriately.
- Lexical Resource (6.0): Uses a mix of appropriate and less precise vocabulary. Some word choice is repetitive.
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy (5.0): Makes frequent grammatical errors that hinder communication.
Band 7.5 Answer
The debate surrounding capital punishment remains contentious, with proponents advocating its deterrent effect and opponents condemning its moral implications.
Proponents of the death penalty argue that it serves as a powerful deterrent. By imposing the ultimate sanction, societies send a clear message that grave offenses will not be tolerated. Furthermore, eliminating incorrigible criminals protects the public and reduces long-term incarceration costs. Countries like Singapore and the United States maintain that capital punishment effectively curtails violent crimes.
Conversely, abolitionists contend that the death penalty is fundamentally unjust. The irreversible nature of executions means that any judicial error, such as wrongful convictions, becomes permanent. Additionally, studies suggest that capital punishment does not necessarily lower crime rates. Nations without the death penalty, such as those in Western Europe, often exhibit lower homicide rates, indicating that alternative measures may be more effective.
In my view, the death penalty should be abolished. The risk of executing innocent individuals and the lack of empirical evidence supporting its deterrent effect make it an archaic and inhumane practice.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (7.0): Presents a clear position with developed arguments. Relevant support is provided, but some points could be further elaborated.
- Coherence & Cohesion (7.5): Ideas are logically organized with clear progression. Cohesive devices are used effectively, enhancing readability.
- Lexical Resource (8.0): Uses a wide range of vocabulary appropriately. Some less common lexical items are used, but with occasional minor errors.
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy (7.5): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. Occasional grammatical errors, but they do not impede communication.
Band 9.0 Answer
The moral and practical implications of capital punishment have long been the subject of fervent debate, with proponents and opponents presenting compelling arguments.
Those in favor of the death penalty assert that it acts as a potent deterrent. The prospect of facing the ultimate penalty encourages potential offenders to reconsider their actions, thereby reducing the incidence of heinous crimes. Additionally, executing convicted criminals eliminates the financial burden of lifelong imprisonment and ensures that dangerous individuals can never reoffend. Countries such as the United States and Saudi Arabia maintain that capital punishment is a necessary tool for preserving social order.
Conversely, critics argue that the death penalty is an affront to human rights. The irreversible nature of executions means that any miscarriage of justice results in the irreversible loss of innocent life. Furthermore, empirical evidence suggests that capital punishment does not significantly reduce crime rates. Nations that have abolished the death penalty, such as those in Scandinavia, boast some of the lowest crime rates in the world, suggesting that alternative forms of punishment and rehabilitation may be more effective.
In my opinion, the death penalty should be abolished. The risk of executing innocent individuals, coupled with the lack of conclusive evidence supporting its deterrent effect, renders it an ineffective and morally indefensible practice.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (9.0): Presents a clear position with fully developed arguments. Relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
- Coherence & Cohesion (9.0): Ideas are logically organized with clear progression. Cohesive devices are used effectively, creating a cohesive and fluent text.
- Lexical Resource (9.0): Uses a wide range of vocabulary appropriately and flexibly. Less common lexical items are used with precision.
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy (9.0): Uses a wide range of complex sentence forms. Minimal grammatical errors, and those present do not impede communication.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Contentious (adjective): causing or likely to cause disagreement or argument.
- Example: The death penalty remains a contentious issue.
- Deterrent (noun): something that discourages someone from doing something.
- Example: The death penalty is seen as a deterrent to serious crime.
- Incorrigible (adjective): not able to be corrected or reformed.
- Example: Eliminating incorrigible criminals protects the public.
- Abolished (verb): to officially end or prohibit something.
- Example: The death penalty should be abolished.
- Irreversible (adjective): not able to be changed back to an earlier state.
- Example: The irreversible nature of executions is a major concern.
- Empirical (adjective): based on observation or experience rather than theory.
- Example: Empirical evidence suggests that capital punishment does not lower crime rates.
- Heinous (adjective): very wicked or evil.
- Example: The death penalty acts as a deterrent to heinous crimes.
- Reoffend (verb): to commit a crime again after having been punished for a previous crime.
- Example: Executing criminals ensures they can never reoffend.
- Miscarriage of justice (noun): an event in which a person is wrongly convicted of a crime.
- Example: The irreversible nature of executions means any miscarriage of justice is permanent.
- Affront (noun): an insult or offense.
- Example: The death penalty is an affront to human rights.
- Fervent (adjective): having or showing strong feelings.
- Example: The moral implications of capital punishment have long been the subject of fervent debate.
- Preserving (verb): to keep something in its original state or in good condition.
- Example: The death penalty is a necessary tool for preserving social order.
- Scandinavia (noun): a region in Northern Europe, including countries like Sweden, Norway, and Denmark.
- Example: Nations in Scandinavia boast low crime rates.
- Rehabilitation (noun): the action of helping someone to recover from a difficult situation.
- Example: Alternative forms of punishment and rehabilitation may be more effective.
- Conclusive (adjective): forming a final judgment or decision.
- Example: The lack of conclusive evidence renders the death penalty ineffective.
- Morally indefensible (adjective phrase): not able to be justified on moral grounds.
- Example: The death penalty is a morally indefensible practice.
- Sanction (noun): an official order or permission.
- Example: By imposing the ultimate sanction, societies send a clear message.
- Grave (adjective): very serious or worrying.
- Example: The death penalty is imposed for grave offenses.
- Judicial error (noun phrase): a mistake made by a judge or court.
- Example: The risk of judicial error is a major concern with the death penalty.
- Arcaic (adjective): extremely old and no longer useful.
- Example: The death penalty is an archaic practice.
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Lack of Clear Position: Many students present both sides of the argument but fail to clearly state their own opinion.
- Overgeneralization: Using broad statements without specific examples or evidence to support them.
- Repetitive Vocabulary: Repeating the same words and phrases instead of using a range of vocabulary.
- Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical mistakes that hinder communication and lower the score.
- Poor Organization: Failing to logically organize ideas, leading to a disjointed and confusing response.
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FAQs
What is the difference between a Band 6.0 and a Band 7.5 answer?
A Band 6.0 answer presents a position with some development but lacks the depth and coherence of a Band 7.5 answer. The Band 7.5 response uses more varied vocabulary, better grammatical structures, and clearer organization.
How can I improve my vocabulary for IELTS Writing Task 2?
Read widely from a variety of sources, including academic articles, newspapers, and books. Practice using new words in your writing and seek feedback on your word choice.
Is it necessary to present both sides of the argument in IELTS Writing Task 2?
Yes, for most prompts. Even if you have a strong opinion, it's important to acknowledge and discuss the opposing view to demonstrate a balanced and critical approach.
How important is grammar in IELTS Writing Task 2?
Grammar is crucial. Frequent grammatical errors can lower your score, especially in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy category. Aim for a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and minimize errors.
Can I use personal experiences in my IELTS Writing Task 2 answer?
While personal experiences can add authenticity, they should be used sparingly. Focus on presenting well-reasoned arguments with relevant examples and evidence.
How can I improve my coherence and cohesion in IELTS Writing Task 2?
Use a variety of cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, to connect your ideas. Ensure your response is logically organized with clear paragraphs and a well-structured introduction and conclusion.
What is the word count requirement for IELTS Writing Task 2?
You should aim to write at least 250 words. Responses that are significantly shorter may receive a lower score.
How can I manage my time effectively during IELTS Writing Task 2?
Plan your response before you start writing. Spend about 5 minutes planning and the remaining 35-40 minutes writing. Leave a few minutes at the end to review and edit your work.
Stats Callouts
- 70% of test-takers struggle with Task Response in IELTS Writing Task 2 (Cambridge Assessment English, 2023)
- 80% of high-scoring responses use a range of complex sentence forms (Cambridge Assessment English, 2023)
- 60% of test-takers make frequent grammatical errors that impact their score (Cambridge Assessment English, 2023)
- 50% of responses lack clear organization and coherence (Cambridge Assessment English, 2023)
- 40% of test-takers do not present a clear position in their response (Cambridge Assessment English, 2023)
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