IELTS Writing Task 2: Death Penalty – Band 6.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Prompt: Some people argue that the death penalty is an effective deterrent for serious crimes. Others believe it is inhumane and should be abolished. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Band 6.0 Sample Answer
Sample Answer
The death penalty is a controversial topic with strong opinions on both sides. Some people believe it acts as a deterrent and prevents serious crimes, while others think it is inhumane and should be abolished. I believe the death penalty should be abolished because it does not reduce crime and is morally wrong.
On one hand, supporters of the death penalty argue that it deters people from committing serious crimes. They believe that the fear of execution will make criminals think twice before committing violent acts. For example, countries with the death penalty may have lower crime rates compared to those without it. However, this is not always true. Some countries with the death penalty still have high crime rates, which means the death penalty does not always work as a deterrent.
On the other hand, opponents of the death penalty argue that it is inhumane and violates human rights. They believe that no government should have the right to take a person's life, no matter how serious the crime. For example, there have been cases where innocent people were executed, which is a tragic mistake that cannot be undone. Additionally, the death penalty can be biased against certain groups, such as minorities and the poor, who may not receive fair trials.
In conclusion, I believe the death penalty should be abolished. It does not effectively reduce crime and is morally wrong. Instead, countries should focus on rehabilitation and improving the justice system to ensure fairness and justice for all.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position but lacks depth and nuance. Supports the position with some relevant, but limited and unsubstantiated arguments.
- Coherence & Cohesion (CC): Ideas are organized but with some repetition and occasional unclear referencing. Paragraphing is adequate but not sophisticated.
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a mix of appropriate and basic vocabulary. Some errors in word choice and collocation. Attempts to use varied vocabulary but with limited success.
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy (GRA): Mostly simple sentence structures with some complex sentences that contain errors. Frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement and article usage.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Controversial (adj.) - Causing or likely to cause disagreement or argument. Example: The death penalty is a controversial topic.
- Deterrent (n.) - Something that discourages or deters someone from doing something. Example: The death penalty is seen as a deterrent for serious crimes.
- Inhumane (adj.) - Lacking compassion or kindness; cruel. Example: Opponents argue that the death penalty is inhumane.
- Abolished (adj.) - Officially put an end to a law, practice, or custom. Example: The death penalty should be abolished.
- Violates (v.) - Breaks or acts against something, especially a law, agreement, principle, or something that should be treated with respect. Example: The death penalty violates human rights.
- Rehabilitation (n.) - The action of helping someone to readjust to normal life after imprisonment. Example: Countries should focus on rehabilitation.
- Fairness (n.) - The quality of making judgments free from discrimination or dishonesty. Example: The justice system should ensure fairness.
- Tragic (adj.) - Causing or involving great suffering or distress; very sad or regrettable. Example: The execution of innocent people is a tragic mistake.
- Bias (n.) - Prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared with another, usually in a way considered to be unfair. Example: The death penalty can be biased against certain groups.
- Morally (adv.) - Relating to principles of right and wrong behavior. Example: The death penalty is morally wrong.
- Undone (adj.) - Not done or completed; reversed or canceled. Example: A tragic mistake that cannot be undone.
- Sophisticated (adj.) - Having, showing, or requiring a great deal of worldly experience and knowledge. Example: Adequate but not sophisticated paragraphing.
- Substantiated (adj.) - Supported or proven by evidence or facts. Example: Limited and unsubstantiated arguments.
- Collocation (n.) - A combination of words that are commonly used together. Example: Errors in word choice and collocation.
- Agreement (n.) - A arrangement or understanding reached between parties. Example: Frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Lack of Depth: Many students present a clear position but fail to provide sufficient depth and nuance in their arguments.
- Inadequate Vocabulary: Using basic vocabulary instead of more sophisticated and varied words and phrases.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement and article usage.
- Poor Organization: Ideas are not well-organized, leading to repetition and unclear referencing.
- Unsubstantiated Arguments: Providing arguments without sufficient evidence or support.
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FAQs
What is the difference between a Band 6.0 and a Band 7.0 answer?
A Band 6.0 answer presents a clear position but lacks depth and nuance. A Band 7.0 answer presents a clear position with some extension and support. The arguments are relevant, extended, and supported by appropriate examples.
How can I improve my vocabulary for IELTS Writing Task 2?
To improve your vocabulary, read a variety of texts, including newspapers, academic articles, and books. Practice using new words in your writing and speaking. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms and collocations.
What are the most common mistakes in IELTS Writing Task 2?
The most common mistakes include lack of depth in arguments, inadequate vocabulary, grammatical errors, poor organization, and unsubstantiated arguments. Focusing on these areas can significantly improve your score.
How can I practice for IELTS Writing Task 2?
Practice by writing essays on a variety of topics. Use timers to simulate exam conditions. Get feedback on your writing from teachers or online resources like English AIdol.
What is the word count requirement for IELTS Writing Task 2?
The word count requirement for IELTS Writing Task 2 is at least 250 words. Writing fewer than 250 words can result in a lower score.
How is the IELTS Writing Task 2 scored?
The IELTS Writing Task 2 is scored based on four criteria: Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource, and Grammatical Range and Accuracy. Each criterion is scored on a scale of 0 to 9.
What are some common vocabulary mistakes in IELTS Writing Task 2?
Common vocabulary mistakes include using basic vocabulary instead of more sophisticated words, incorrect word choice, and errors in collocation. Using a variety of vocabulary appropriately can improve your score.
How can I improve my coherence and cohesion in IELTS Writing Task 2?
To improve coherence and cohesion, organize your ideas clearly and logically. Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas. Practice writing essays with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
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