IELTS Writing Task 2 Cybercrime Sample: Band 9 Positive Negative Essay
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The Prompt
Some people claim that the internet is making crime easier to commit. Others argue that it has made crime easier to fight. Discuss both sides of this issue and give your own opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
The internet has changed our lives in many ways, but it has also brought some problems. On one hand, the internet makes it easier for criminals to commit crimes. For example, hackers can steal information from banks and companies. They can also use the internet to sell illegal things like drugs or weapons. On the other hand, the internet helps police catch criminals. They can use special software to find criminals online. Also, people can report crimes more easily. In my opinion, the internet is a good thing because it helps more than it harms.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 5.0
- Presents a position but does not always sustain it with relevant, supported ideas
- Some ideas are repeated
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0
- Uses some cohesive devices but these are often mechanical or overused
- There may be some unclear referencing
- Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0
- Uses some less common vocabulary but this may not always be accurately used
- Some spellings may be incorrect
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0
- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
- Makes frequent grammatical errors
Band 7.0 Answer
The emergence of the internet has revolutionized modern life, but it has also facilitated criminal activities. On the positive side, the internet has become an invaluable tool for law enforcement agencies. For instance, cybersecurity experts can track and apprehend cybercriminals using advanced software. Additionally, online platforms enable quick reporting of crimes, enhancing community policing efforts. Conversely, the internet provides criminals with new opportunities to commit crimes. Cybercriminals can exploit vulnerabilities in online systems to steal sensitive information, conduct fraud, or distribute illegal content. Moreover, the anonymous nature of the internet makes it difficult to trace and prosecute these criminals. In my view, while the internet poses certain risks, its benefits in combating crime outweigh the drawbacks.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 7.0
- Presents a clear position throughout the response
- Presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but some ideas may be repetitive or irrelevant
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0
- Uses coherence and cohesion to manage the organization of ideas and information
- Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately
- Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0
- Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
- Uses less common vocabulary with some awareness of style and collocation
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0
- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
- Makes occasional errors in grammar and punctuation
Band 8.0 Answer
The digital age has brought about significant changes in the way crimes are committed and prevented. Proponents of the view that the internet facilitates crime argue that it provides a fertile ground for various illegal activities. Cybercriminals can easily access and manipulate personal data, engage in financial fraud, and distribute malicious software. Furthermore, the internet's global reach allows criminals to operate across borders, making it challenging for law enforcement agencies to track and apprehend them. Conversely, the internet has also empowered authorities to combat crime more effectively. Advanced cybersecurity technologies enable the detection and prevention of cyber threats in real-time. Additionally, the internet fosters collaboration among international law enforcement agencies, enhancing their ability to tackle transnational crimes. In my opinion, the internet's role in fighting crime is more profound than its potential to aid criminal activities.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 8.0
- Presents a clear position throughout the response
- Presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0
- Uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts the reader's attention and facilitates an easy understanding of the argument
- Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately
- Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0
- Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
- Uses less common vocabulary with some awareness of style and collocation
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0
- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
- Makes occasional errors in grammar and punctuation
Band 9.0 Answer
The proliferation of the internet has transformed the landscape of criminal activities, presenting both opportunities and challenges. Proponents of the notion that the internet has made crime easier to commit contend that it offers a fertile environment for various illicit activities. Cybercriminals can exploit vulnerabilities in digital systems to execute sophisticated attacks, such as phishing, ransomware, and identity theft. Moreover, the internet's anonymity and global reach enable criminals to evade detection and operate across jurisdictions with impunity. Conversely, the internet has revolutionized crime prevention and detection. Law enforcement agencies leverage cutting-edge technologies to monitor cyber threats, track criminal activities, and gather digital evidence. Furthermore, the internet facilitates international cooperation, allowing agencies to share information and coordinate efforts to combat transnational crimes. In my view, the internet's potential to enhance crime-fighting efforts is more significant than its capacity to aid criminal activities, provided that robust cybersecurity measures are in place.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 9.0
- Presents a clear position throughout the response
- Presents, extends, and supports main ideas, using relevant, underpinning ideas and/or examples
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0
- Uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts the reader's attention and facilitates an easy understanding of the argument
- Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately
- Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0
- Uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features
- Rarely makes lexical errors
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0
- Uses a wide range of complex sentence forms
- Makes very few grammatical errors
Key Vocabulary
- Proponent (n): A person who advocates for a particular idea or cause
- Example: Proponents of the new policy argue that it will boost economic growth.
- Facilitate (v): To make an action or process easier
- Example: The new software will facilitate data management.
- Cybersecurity (n): The practice of protecting systems, networks, and programs from digital attacks
- Example: Cybersecurity experts are in high demand due to the rise in cyber threats.
- Apprehend (v): To arrest or catch someone
- Example: The police were able to apprehend the suspect within hours.
- Malicious (adj): Intended to cause harm or damage
- Example: The hacker installed malicious software on the company's servers.
- Transnational (adj): Involving or operating in more than one country
- Example: The police force needs to collaborate on transnational crimes.
- Impunity (n): Exemption from punishment or harm
- Example: The criminal operated with impunity for years before being caught.
- Leverage (v): To use something to its maximum advantage
- Example: The company leveraged its resources to expand into new markets.
- Sophisticated (adj): Complex and impressive in design or operation
- Example: The hackers used sophisticated techniques to breach the system.
- Vulnerability (n): A weakness that can be exploited
- Example: The security team identified a vulnerability in the software.
- Phishing (n): The fraudulent practice of sending emails purporting to be from reputable companies to induce individuals to reveal personal information
- Example: The company fell victim to a phishing attack, resulting in the loss of sensitive data.
- Ransomware (n): A type of malicious software designed to block access to a computer system until a sum of money is paid
- Example: The hospital's systems were paralyzed by a ransomware attack.
- Identity theft (n): The fraudulent acquisition and use of a person's private identifying information, usually for financial gain
- Example: The victim's bank account was drained due to identity theft.
- Jurisdiction (n): The official power to make legal decisions and judgments
- Example: The case falls under the jurisdiction of the international court.
- Evade (v): To escape or avoid something, especially by cleverness or deceit
- Example: The criminal tried to evade capture by changing his appearance.
- Coordinate (v): To organize the activities of different people or groups so that they work together effectively
- Example: The police forces coordinated their efforts to apprehend the suspect.
- Exploit (v): To make full use of and derive benefit from a situation or resource
- Example: The hackers exploited a vulnerability in the system to gain access.
- Robust (adj): Strong and healthy; vigorous
- Example: The company implemented robust security measures to protect its data.
- Proliferation (n): Rapid increase in the number or amount of something
- Example: The proliferation of cyber threats has increased the demand for cybersecurity experts.
- Impunity (n): Exemption from punishment or harm
- Example: The criminal operated with impunity for years before being caught.
Common Mistakes
- Overgeneralizing: Students often make broad statements without providing specific examples or evidence to support their claims. This weakens the argument and reduces the score for task response.
- Lack of Cohesion: Some students struggle to connect their ideas logically, resulting in a disjointed essay. This affects the coherence and cohesion score.
- Inadequate Vocabulary: Using basic or repetitive vocabulary can limit the lexical resource score. Students should aim to use a wide range of vocabulary appropriate to the task.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical mistakes can significantly impact the grammatical range and accuracy score. Students should proofread their essays to minimize errors.
- Ignoring the Task: Some students may discuss only one side of the argument or fail to provide a clear opinion. This directly affects the task response score.
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