IELTS Writing Task 2: Cyberbullying (Problem Solution) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers

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The Prompt

Paraphrased from Cambridge Assessment English:

Some people believe that the problem of cyberbullying can be solved by implementing stricter laws and regulations. Others argue that educating young people about the consequences of their actions is a more effective solution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers

Band 6.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but with some inconsistencies
• Coherence & Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Ideas are logically organized but with some repetition
• Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses some less common vocabulary but with some errors
• Grammatical Range & Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Makes frequent grammatical errors that hinder understanding

Answer:

Cyberbullying is a big problem in the world today. Some people think that the government should make new laws to stop it. Other people think that teaching young people about the problem is better. I think both things are important.

First, making new laws can help. If people know they will go to jail, they might not bully others online. But sometimes it is hard to catch the people who do this. Also, laws might not change how people think.

Second, teaching young people is also good. If they learn about the problem, they might not bully others. Schools can teach about cyberbullying in classes. Parents can also talk to their kids about it. But some people might not listen to these lessons.

In conclusion, I think both laws and teaching are important. We need to do both things to stop cyberbullying.

Band 7.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended ideas
• Coherence & Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively but with some awkwardness
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a mix of common and less common vocabulary with some errors
• Grammatical Range & Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Makes some grammatical errors but generally communicates clearly

Answer:

The issue of cyberbullying has become increasingly prevalent in recent years. While some advocate for stricter laws to combat this problem, others believe that education is a more effective solution. Both approaches have merits and should be implemented together.

On one hand, stricter laws can act as a deterrent. For instance, countries like the United Kingdom have introduced laws that make cyberbullying a criminal offense. This has led to a decrease in reported cases. However, enforcing these laws can be challenging due to the anonymous nature of the internet. Additionally, some argue that punishment alone does not address the root causes of cyberbullying.

On the other hand, education can foster empathy and understanding. Schools can incorporate cyberbullying awareness programs into their curricula. For example, Finland has implemented such programs and seen a significant reduction in cyberbullying incidents. Nevertheless, the effectiveness of these programs depends on the willingness of students to engage and reflect on the material.

In my opinion, a combination of stricter laws and comprehensive education is the most effective approach. Laws can provide a framework for accountability, while education can cultivate a culture of respect and responsibility online. Together, these strategies can significantly mitigate the problem of cyberbullying.

Band 8.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
• Coherence & Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with a clear progression of ideas
• Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a range of vocabulary with flexibility and precision
• Grammatical Range & Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors

Answer:

Cyberbullying has emerged as a pervasive issue in the digital age, prompting debates on the most effective strategies to address it. While some proponents advocate for legislative measures, others emphasize the importance of educational initiatives. A balanced approach that integrates both strategies is likely to yield the most promising results.

Proponents of stricter laws argue that legal frameworks can serve as a powerful deterrent. For instance, Australia's introduction of cyberbullying laws has led to a notable decline in reported cases. Furthermore, legal recourse provides victims with a sense of justice and empowerment. However, the effectiveness of these laws is contingent on robust enforcement mechanisms, which can be challenging to implement due to the borderless nature of the internet.

Conversely, advocates for education highlight its potential to foster long-term behavioral change. Comprehensive programs, such as those implemented in Canada, have demonstrated success in promoting empathy and digital literacy among students. These programs not only address the symptoms but also the root causes of cyberbullying. Nevertheless, the impact of educational initiatives is often gradual and requires sustained effort and resources.

In my view, a synergistic approach that combines legislative measures with educational initiatives offers the most holistic solution. Laws can provide the necessary framework for accountability, while education can cultivate a culture of respect and responsibility. By addressing both the immediate and underlying issues, this dual strategy can effectively mitigate the problem of cyberbullying.

Band 9.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear, informed position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
• Coherence & Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with a clear progression of ideas
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with precision and sophistication
• Grammatical Range & Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of complex sentence forms with minimal errors

Answer:

The pervasive issue of cyberbullying has sparked a contentious debate regarding the most efficacious strategies to combat it. While some advocates espouse the implementation of stringent legal measures, others contend that educational interventions are more efficacious. A multifaceted approach that amalgamates both strategies is likely to be the most effective.

Proponents of legislative interventions posit that robust legal frameworks can act as a potent deterrent. For instance, the enactment of the Malicious Communications Act in the United Kingdom has led to a significant reduction in cyberbullying incidents. Furthermore, legal recourse provides victims with a sense of justice and empowerment, which is crucial for their emotional well-being. However, the efficacy of these laws is contingent on the establishment of robust enforcement mechanisms, which can be challenging to implement due to the transnational nature of the internet.

Conversely, advocates for educational interventions highlight their potential to engender long-term behavioral change. Comprehensive programs, such as those implemented in Singapore, have demonstrated success in promoting empathy, digital literacy, and responsible online behavior among students. These programs not only address the symptoms but also the root causes of cyberbullying. Nevertheless, the impact of educational initiatives is often gradual and requires sustained effort, resources, and community involvement.

In my view, a synergistic approach that combines legislative measures with educational initiatives offers the most holistic solution. Laws can provide the necessary framework for accountability, while education can cultivate a culture of respect, responsibility, and digital citizenship. By addressing both the immediate and underlying issues, this dual strategy can effectively mitigate the problem of cyberbullying and foster a safer digital environment for all.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Pervasive: Widespread and persistent. Example: The pervasive issue of cyberbullying affects people of all ages.
2. Contentious: Causing or likely to cause disagreement. Example: The debate on cyberbullying is highly contentious.
3. Efficacious: Effective; producing a desired result. Example: Educational interventions have proven to be efficacious in reducing cyberbullying.
4. Amalgamates: Combines or merges. Example: A multifaceted approach amalgamates both legislative and educational strategies.
5. Potent: Having great power, influence, or effect. Example: Legal frameworks can act as a potent deterrent.
6. Enactment: The process of passing legislation. Example: The enactment of new laws has reduced cyberbullying incidents.
7. Empowerment: The process of becoming stronger and more confident. Example: Legal recourse provides victims with a sense of empowerment.
8. Transnational: Extending or operating across national boundaries. Example: The transnational nature of the internet complicates law enforcement.
9. Engender: Cause or give rise to. Example: Educational programs can engender long-term behavioral change.
10. Gradual: Happening or progressing slowly. Example: The impact of educational initiatives is often gradual.
11. Sustained: Continuing for an extended period. Example: Sustained effort is required for educational programs to be effective.
12. Holistic: Characterized by the belief that the parts of something are interconnected and can only be understood in relation to the whole. Example: A holistic approach addresses both the immediate and underlying issues.
13. Synergistic: The interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects. Example: A synergistic approach combines legislative measures with educational initiatives.
14. Framework: A basic structure underlying a system, concept, or text. Example: Laws provide a framework for accountability.
15. Cultivate: Foster the growth of. Example: Education can cultivate a culture of respect and responsibility.
16. Mitigate: Make less severe, serious, or painful. Example: A dual strategy can effectively mitigate the problem of cyberbullying.
17. Digital citizenship: The responsible and appropriate use of technology by users. Example: Education can promote digital citizenship.
18. Borderless: Having no borders or boundaries. Example: The borderless nature of the internet complicates law enforcement.
19. Empathy: The ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Example: Educational programs promote empathy among students.
20. Digital literacy: The ability to use information and communication technologies to find, evaluate, create, and communicate information. Example: Educational programs promote digital literacy.

Common Mistakes Students Make

1. Lack of Clear Position: Some students fail to present a clear position on the issue, leading to a lower Task Response score.
2. Inadequate Support: Students often provide ideas without sufficient support or examples, which weakens their arguments.
3. Poor Cohesion: Some essays lack clear cohesive devices, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument.
4. Repetition: Students sometimes repeat the same ideas or vocabulary, which can make the essay seem less sophisticated.
5. Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can hinder understanding and lower the Grammatical Range and Accuracy score.

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