IELTS Writing Task 2: Cyberbullying — Band 9.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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Prompt
Some people believe that cyberbullying is a serious issue that must be addressed, while others argue that it is just a minor problem that will disappear on its own. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0
Cyberbullying is a big problem today. Many people think it is serious and needs to be stopped. Others say it is not a big deal and will go away. I think it is a serious problem.
Cyberbullying is when people use the internet to bully others. This can happen on social media, in games, or through messages. It can make people feel very bad and even lead to depression. Some people think it is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. They say that schools and parents should teach kids about online safety and respect. Others argue that it is just a minor problem that will disappear on its own. They think that as people grow up, they will learn to ignore mean comments.
I agree with the first view. Cyberbullying can have serious effects on mental health. It can make people feel alone and scared. It can also affect their school work and relationships. I think schools should have programs to teach kids about cyberbullying. Parents should also talk to their kids about being kind online. Governments can make laws to punish cyberbullies. By taking these steps, we can make the internet a safer place.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but with limited development and some irrelevant points.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Ideas are logically organized but with some repetition and lack of clear progression.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses a mix of appropriate and less precise vocabulary.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Makes frequent grammatical errors but generally conveys meaning.
Band 7.0
Cyberbullying has become a significant issue in today's digital age. While some argue that it is a serious problem requiring immediate attention, others believe it is a temporary phase that will resolve itself. I firmly believe that cyberbullying is a critical issue that must be addressed urgently.
Cyberbullying involves the use of digital platforms to harass, threaten, or humiliate others. This can occur through social media, online forums, or messaging apps. Proponents of the view that cyberbullying is a serious issue argue that it can have severe psychological and emotional impacts on victims. They advocate for comprehensive education programs in schools and stricter laws to deter cyberbullies. Conversely, those who downplay the problem suggest that as society becomes more aware of online etiquette, cyberbullying will naturally decline.
I strongly support the notion that cyberbullying is a critical issue. The anonymity of the internet can embolden bullies, making their actions more harmful. Victims often suffer from anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. To combat this, schools should implement anti-bullying programs and teach digital literacy. Parents must also monitor their children's online activities and foster a culture of respect. Governments can play a role by enacting legislation that holds cyberbullies accountable for their actions. By taking these measures, we can create a safer online environment for everyone.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively but with some repetition.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a range of vocabulary appropriately but with some less precise word choices.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with some errors.
Band 8.0
The pervasive issue of cyberbullying has sparked considerable debate. While some contend that it is a minor problem that will dissipate over time, others maintain that it is a grave concern necessitating immediate intervention. I firmly believe that cyberbullying is a serious issue that demands urgent attention.
Cyberbullying, the act of using digital platforms to harass or intimidate others, has become increasingly prevalent in the digital age. Those who argue that it is a minor problem often suggest that as societal awareness grows, the issue will resolve itself. They contend that education and self-regulation will suffice to mitigate the problem. Conversely, advocates for immediate action highlight the severe psychological and emotional toll that cyberbullying can have on victims. They propose a multi-faceted approach involving education, legislation, and community involvement.
I firmly believe that cyberbullying is a serious issue that requires urgent attention. The anonymity of the internet can exacerbate the problem, making bullies more brazen and their actions more harmful. Victims often experience anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. To address this, schools should implement comprehensive anti-bullying programs and teach digital literacy. Parents must also play an active role in monitoring their children's online activities and fostering a culture of respect. Governments can contribute by enacting legislation that holds cyberbullies accountable for their actions. By taking these steps, we can create a safer online environment for everyone.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas, and develops them fully.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with clear progression and logical organization.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary appropriately and precisely.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a variety of complex sentence structures with minimal errors.
Band 9.0
The escalating problem of cyberbullying has become a pressing concern in the digital era. While some argue that it is a transient issue that will resolve itself, others contend that it is a critical problem demanding immediate intervention. I firmly believe that cyberbullying is a serious issue that requires urgent and comprehensive action.
Cyberbullying, the use of digital platforms to harass, threaten, or humiliate others, has become increasingly pervasive. Those who downplay its significance often suggest that as societal awareness grows, the problem will naturally diminish. They advocate for education and self-regulation as sufficient measures to address the issue. Conversely, those who recognize the gravity of the problem propose a multi-faceted approach involving education, legislation, and community involvement to combat cyberbullying effectively.
I firmly believe that cyberbullying is a serious issue that demands urgent attention. The anonymity of the internet can embolden bullies, making their actions more harmful and far-reaching. Victims often suffer from severe psychological and emotional consequences, including anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. To address this, schools should implement comprehensive anti-bullying programs and integrate digital literacy into their curricula. Parents must also play an active role in monitoring their children's online activities and fostering a culture of respect and empathy. Governments can contribute by enacting legislation that holds cyberbullies accountable for their actions and provides support for victims.
Furthermore, technology companies have a responsibility to develop and implement robust moderation tools to detect and prevent cyberbullying on their platforms. By taking these measures, we can create a safer and more respectful online environment for everyone. It is crucial that we act now to address this pressing issue and protect the well-being of individuals in the digital age.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas, and develops them fully and appropriately.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with clear progression and logical organization, and uses paragraphs appropriately.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary appropriately, flexibly, and with precision.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of complex sentence structures with minimal errors and uses less common lexical items appropriately.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Pervasive (adj.) - Widespread or prevalent.
- Example: The pervasive issue of cyberbullying has sparked considerable debate.
- Contend (v.) - Maintain or assert a position.
- Example: While some contend that it is a minor problem, others maintain that it is a grave concern.
- Exacerbate (v.) - Make a problem worse.
- Example: The anonymity of the internet can exacerbate the problem.
- Brazen (adj.) - Bold or shameless.
- Example: The anonymity of the internet can embolden bullies, making their actions more brazen.
- Mitigate (v.) - Make less severe or less serious.
- Example: They contend that education and self-regulation will suffice to mitigate the problem.
- Comprehensive (adj.) - Including all or nearly all elements or aspects of something.
- Example: Schools should implement comprehensive anti-bullying programs.
- Embolden (v.) - Give someone the courage or confidence to do something.
- Example: The anonymity of the internet can embolden bullies.
- Psychological (adj.) - Relating to the mind or mental processes.
- Example: Victims often experience severe psychological consequences.
- Empathy (n.) - The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
- Example: Parents must foster a culture of respect and empathy.
- Robust (adj.) - Strong and healthy; vigorous.
- Example: Technology companies should develop robust moderation tools.
- Moderation (n.) - The action of making something less extreme or intense.
- Example: Technology companies should develop robust moderation tools.
- Far-reaching (adj.) - Having extensive or significant consequences.
- Example: The anonymity of the internet can make bullies' actions more far-reaching.
- Transient (adj.) - Lasting only for a short time; impermanent.
- Example: Some argue that cyberbullying is a transient issue.
- Deter (v.) - Discourage someone from doing something by instilling doubt or fear.
- Example: They advocate for stricter laws to deter cyberbullies.
- Integrate (v.) - Combine or incorporate something into a whole.
- Example: Schools should integrate digital literacy into their curricula.
- Accountable (adj.) - Responsible for something within one's power, control, or management.
- Example: Governments can enact legislation that holds cyberbullies accountable.
- Advocate (v.) - Publicly recommend or support.
- Example: They advocate for comprehensive education programs.
- Harass (v.) - Aggressively pressure or intimidate someone.
- Example: Cyberbullying involves the use of digital platforms to harass others.
- Humiliate (v.) - Make someone feel ashamed or foolish by injuring their dignity and self-respect.
- Example: Cyberbullying involves the use of digital platforms to humiliate others.
- Prevalent (adj.) - Widespread or commonly found.
- Example: Cyberbullying has become increasingly prevalent in the digital age.
Common Mistakes
- Lack of Clear Position: Some students fail to present a clear position on the issue, making their response unclear and unfocused.
- Inadequate Development of Ideas: Students often present ideas without sufficient development or support, leading to a shallow response.
- Poor Organization: Responses that lack clear paragraphs and logical progression can be difficult to follow and may result in lower scores for coherence and cohesion.
- Limited Vocabulary: Using repetitive or basic vocabulary can limit the range and precision of the response, affecting the lexical resource score.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can distract the reader and make the response difficult to understand, impacting the grammatical range and accuracy score.
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