IELTS Writing Task 2: Cyberbullying — Band 7.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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Prompt
Some people argue that cyberbullying is a serious issue that needs to be addressed, while others believe it is just a part of growing up in the digital age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Band 7.0 Sample Answer
Cyberbullying has become a prevalent issue in today's digital society, and opinions vary on how seriously it should be taken. While some people view it as a significant problem requiring immediate attention, others dismiss it as an inevitable part of growing up in the digital age. This essay will explore both perspectives before presenting my stance on the matter.
On one hand, those who consider cyberbullying a serious issue argue that it can have severe psychological and emotional consequences. Victims of cyberbullying often experience anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. Furthermore, the anonymity provided by the internet can embolden bullies, making the situation worse. For instance, a study by the Pew Research Center found that 59% of U.S. teens have been bullied or harassed online. Proponents of this view believe that stricter laws and better education can help mitigate this problem.
On the other hand, some people believe that cyberbullying is just a part of growing up in the digital age. They argue that children and teenagers need to learn how to deal with negative experiences online, as it is an inevitable part of modern life. Additionally, they contend that overreacting to cyberbullying can hinder the development of resilience and coping mechanisms in young people. For example, some educators argue that teaching students how to respond to online harassment is more effective than trying to eliminate it altogether.
In my opinion, cyberbullying is a serious issue that requires attention. While it is true that young people need to develop resilience, the potential harm caused by cyberbullying cannot be ignored. Therefore, a balanced approach is necessary. Schools and parents should educate children about online safety and responsible internet use. Additionally, platforms should implement better moderation tools to prevent and address cyberbullying effectively.
Scoring Breakdown
Task Response (TR): Band 7
- Presents a clear position throughout the response.
- Presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but some ideas are not fully developed.
- Provides relevant, but somewhat predictable, supporting ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Band 7
- Arranges information and ideas coherently.
- Uses cohesive devices effectively, but there may be some under- or over-use.
- Logical sequencing of sentences and paragraphs.
Lexical Resource (LR): Band 7
- Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision.
- May use less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation.
- Some inappropriate or misused words may occur.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Band 7
- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
- Makes frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, but they do not impede communication.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Prevalent (adj.): widespread; common.
- Example: Cyberbullying is a prevalent issue in today's digital society.
- Psychological (adj.): relating to the mind and mental processes.
- Example: Cyberbullying can have severe psychological consequences.
- Embolden (v.): give (someone) the courage or confidence to do something.
- Example: The anonymity provided by the internet can embolden bullies.
- Mitigate (v.): make (something bad) less severe, serious, or painful.
- Example: Stricter laws and better education can help mitigate this problem.
- Inevitable (adj.): certain to happen; unavoidable.
- Example: Cyberbullying is an inevitable part of growing up in the digital age.
- Resilience (n.): the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.
- Example: Overreacting to cyberbullying can hinder the development of resilience.
- Harassment (n.): aggressive pressure or intimidation.
- Example: 59% of U.S. teens have been bullied or harassed online.
- Moderation (n.): the action of moderating something, especially something such as a discussion or debate.
- Example: Platforms should implement better moderation tools.
- Anonymity (n.): the state of being anonymous.
- Example: The anonymity provided by the internet can embolden bullies.
- Emotional (adj.): relating to a person's emotions.
- Example: Cyberbullying can have severe emotional consequences.
- Suicidal (adj.): relating to or involving the act of killing oneself intentionally.
- Example: Victims of cyberbullying often experience suicidal thoughts.
- Contend (v.): maintain (a position or point) in an argument.
- Example: They contend that overreacting to cyberbullying can hinder resilience.
- Address (v.): think about and begin to deal with an issue or problem.
- Example: Cyberbullying is a serious issue that needs to be addressed.
- Balanced (adj.): having a sensible approach to things; not extreme or excessive.
- Example: A balanced approach is necessary to tackle cyberbullying.
- Platforms (n.): a website or application where people can communicate, share ideas, or conduct business.
- Example: Platforms should implement better moderation tools.
Common Mistakes
- Overgeneralizing: Students often make sweeping statements about cyberbullying without providing specific examples or data to support their claims.
- Lack of Balance: Failing to discuss both sides of the argument equally can result in a lower score for task response.
- Poor Vocabulary Choices: Using vague or inappropriate words can negatively impact the lexical resource score.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical mistakes can make the response difficult to understand, affecting the overall score.
- Inadequate Development of Ideas: Simply stating an idea without providing supporting details or examples can lead to a lower score.
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