IELTS Writing Task 2 Consumerism: Two Part Question Band 9 Samples

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Sample Question

> In some countries, people buy more and more goods they do not need. Why is this happening? What are the impacts of this consumerism on society and individuals?

Model Answers with Scoring Breakdowns

Band 6.0 Answer

The reason why people buy unnecessary goods is because advertisements show them new products every day. Additionally, this consumerism causes problems for society and individuals.

Firstly, some people think advertisements make them buy things. For example, when people watch TV, they see many ads about new products. They feel they must have these things to be happy. This is the main reason for buying unnecessary goods.

Secondly, consumerism has negative effects. For society, it creates more waste and pollution. For individuals, it leads to financial problems. Many people buy things they cannot afford, which causes stress.

In conclusion, advertisements cause this problem, and the effects are bad for both society and individuals.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a relevant position but does not extend or support ideas sufficiently.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 5.0 - Uses some cohesive devices but ordering of information is unclear at times.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Attempts to use a variety of vocabulary but errors in word choice and collocation are frequent.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms but makes errors in grammar and punctuation.

Band 7.0 Answer

The prevalence of excessive consumerism in modern society can be attributed to several factors, with advertising playing a significant role. This trend has far-reaching consequences for both individuals and society as a whole.

Primarily, the influence of persuasive advertising cannot be understated. Marketers employ various strategies to create a sense of need for products that consumers may not actually require. For instance, limited-time offers and celebrity endorsements can manipulate purchasing decisions, leading individuals to buy unnecessary items.

Moreover, the impacts of this consumerist culture are profound. From a societal perspective, the increased production and disposal of goods contribute significantly to environmental degradation. Landfills overflow with non-biodegradable waste, and resources are depleted at an alarming rate. On an individual level, compulsive buying often leads to financial strain and increased personal debt, creating a cycle of stress and anxiety.

In summary, while advertising drives this phenomenon, the resulting environmental and personal consequences are severe and warrant immediate attention.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position throughout the response and extends and supports main trends with relevant, supported ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Arranges information logically with a clear progression throughout. Uses cohesive devices effectively.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, though some errors in word choice and collocation persist.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with generally good control of grammar and punctuation.

Band 8.0 Answer

The escalating trend of consumerism, where individuals purchase goods beyond their needs, can be largely attributed to the pervasive influence of marketing strategies and the cultural emphasis on materialism. This phenomenon has significant implications for both societal structures and individual well-being.

The primary driver of this behavior is the sophisticated marketing tactics employed by corporations. Through targeted advertising campaigns, companies create a false sense of necessity for their products. For example, social media influencers often promote lifestyle products, convincing consumers that these items are essential for happiness and social status. Additionally, the culture of materialism, which equates personal worth with material possessions, further exacerbates this issue.

The repercussions of such consumerist behaviors are multifaceted. Environmentally, the increased demand for goods leads to overconsumption of resources and heightened pollution levels. The production and disposal of non-essential items contribute to environmental degradation, including deforestation and ocean pollution. On a personal level, individuals often accumulate substantial debt and experience mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, stemming from the pressure to maintain a consumerist lifestyle.

In conclusion, while marketing and materialism are the main catalysts for this trend, the environmental and psychological consequences are severe and demand urgent attention.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position throughout the response and extends and supports main trends with relevant, supported, and extended ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Presents a clear central topic within each paragraph. Uses cohesive devices effectively, though there may be occasional lapses.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some less common lexical items, though some errors in word choice and collocation may still occur.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with generally good control of grammar and punctuation, though some errors may still be present.

Band 9.0 Answer

The proliferation of excessive consumerism, characterized by the acquisition of superfluous goods, is primarily driven by the omnipresence of targeted marketing and the cultural valorization of material wealth. This pervasive trend has profound and far-reaching consequences for both societal frameworks and individual psychological well-being.

The principal catalyst for this behavior is the relentless and sophisticated marketing strategies employed by corporations. Through the strategic use of social media, corporations create a compelling narrative that positions their products as indispensable for personal fulfillment and social acceptance. For instance, the ubiquitous presence of advertisements featuring aspirational lifestyles and celebrity endorsements fosters a sense of envy and desire among consumers, compelling them to purchase items they neither need nor can afford. Furthermore, the cultural narrative that equates self-worth with material possessions reinforces this consumerist mindset, creating a vicious cycle of acquisition and dissatisfaction.

The ramifications of this consumerist culture are both environmental and psychological. From an ecological perspective, the insatiable demand for goods exacerbates resource depletion and environmental degradation. The production and disposal of non-essential items contribute to deforestation, ocean pollution, and the depletion of finite resources. On an individual level, the pursuit of material wealth often leads to financial instability, increased stress, and mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. The constant pressure to accumulate more perpetuates a cycle of dissatisfaction, as the temporary relief provided by consumer goods is swiftly replaced by the desire for the next purchase.

In conclusion, while targeted marketing and cultural values are the primary drivers of consumerism, the environmental and psychological consequences are severe and necessitate immediate and comprehensive intervention.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position throughout the response and extends and supports main trends with relevant, supported, and extended ideas, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the topic.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Presents a clear central topic within each paragraph. Uses cohesive devices effectively and skillfully, creating a logical and coherent structure.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with high precision and sophistication, including less common lexical items. Demonstrates a mastery of collocation and idiomatic usage.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of complex sentence forms with a high degree of accuracy in grammar and punctuation. Demonstrates a sophisticated control of language.

Vocabulary Highlights

Band 6.0 Vocabulary

1. Unnecessary goods (noun phrase) - Items that are not needed but are purchased.

• Example: People often buy unnecessary goods due to peer pressure.

1. Advertisements (noun) - Notices or announcements in a public medium promoting a product, service, or message.

• Example: Advertisements can influence people to buy things they don't need.

1. Pollution (noun) - The presence of substances in the environment that are harmful to living organisms.

• Example: Consumerism leads to increased pollution and waste.

1. Financial problems (noun phrase) - Issues related to money management and debt.

• Example: Buying unnecessary items can lead to financial problems.

1. Stress (noun) - A state of mental or emotional strain resulting from adverse circumstances.

• Example: Financial strain can cause significant stress.

Band 7.0 Vocabulary

1. Prevalence (noun) - The fact of being widespread or common.

• Example: The prevalence of consumerism is a growing concern.

1. Persuasive advertising (noun phrase) - Advertising that uses persuasive techniques to influence buying behavior.

• Example: Persuasive advertising often manipulates consumer decisions.

1. Manipulate (verb) - To handle or control something in a skillful manner, especially with the intention of deceiving.

• Example: Companies manipulate consumers through targeted ads.

1. Environmental degradation (noun phrase) - The deterioration of the environment through depletion of resources, pollution, and other factors.

• Example: Consumerism contributes to environmental degradation.

1. Compulsive buying (noun phrase) - The tendency to purchase items impulsively and uncontrollably.

• Example: Compulsive buying can lead to financial strain.

Band 8.0 Vocabulary

1. Escalating trend (noun phrase) - A growing or increasing pattern.

• Example: The escalating trend of consumerism is concerning.

1. Pervasive influence (noun phrase) - A widespread and deeply rooted impact.

• Example: Marketing has a pervasive influence on consumer behavior.

1. Sophisticated marketing tactics (noun phrase) - Advanced and well-planned marketing strategies.

• Example: Sophisticated marketing tactics can manipulate consumer decisions.

1. Targeted advertising campaigns (noun phrase) - Advertising efforts directed at specific groups or individuals.

• Example: Targeted advertising campaigns are highly effective.

1. Materialism (noun) - The importance given to material possessions and wealth.

• Example: Materialism drives many consumerist behaviors.

Band 9.0 Vocabulary

1. Proliferation (noun) - Rapid increase in the number or amount of something.

• Example: The proliferation of consumer goods is a global issue.

1. Omnipresence (noun) - The fact of appearing everywhere at the same time.

• Example: The omnipresence of advertisements influences consumer behavior.

1. Ubiquitous presence (noun phrase) - The fact of being present everywhere.

• Example: The ubiquitous presence of ads promotes consumerism.

1. Aspirational lifestyles (noun phrase) - Lifestyles that people aspire to achieve.

• Example: Advertisements often depict aspirational lifestyles.

1. Ramifications (noun) - The consequences of an action or event.

• Example: The ramifications of consumerism are severe.

Common Mistakes Students Make

1. Not Addressing Both Parts of the Question - Many students focus on one part of the question and neglect the other, resulting in an unbalanced response.

1. Lack of Specific Examples - General statements without supporting examples weaken the argument and reduce the score for task response.

1. Poor Vocabulary Choice - Using repetitive or inappropriate vocabulary can lower the lexical resource score.

1. Grammatical Errors - Frequent grammatical mistakes can significantly impact the grammatical range and accuracy score.

1. Inadequate Cohesion and Cohesion - Poorly structured paragraphs and lack of cohesive devices can make the response difficult to follow, affecting the coherence and cohesion score.

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