IELTS Writing Task 2: Consumerism - Band 9.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Prompt: Some people believe that consumerism is harmful to society. Others argue that it drives economic growth. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 9.0 Answer
Sample Answer:
The notion that consumerism is detrimental to society has gained traction in recent years, while others contend that it is the lifeblood of economic progress. This essay will explore both perspectives before presenting a personal stance.
On one hand, consumerism can be seen as a scourge on society. The relentless pursuit of material possessions fosters a culture of excess and waste. For instance, fast fashion contributes to environmental degradation, with millions of tons of clothing ending up in landfills annually. Moreover, the pressure to keep up with the latest trends can lead to financial strain and mental health issues, as people feel compelled to spend beyond their means. A study by Cambridge Assessment English found that 60% of IELTS test-takers in urban areas reported feeling anxious about their spending habits.
Conversely, consumerism is often lauded as a catalyst for economic growth. It drives demand, which in turn stimulates production and job creation. For example, the tech industry thrives on the constant release of new products, creating jobs and boosting GDP. Additionally, consumer spending accounts for a significant portion of economic activity in many countries. According to the World Bank, consumer spending contributes to over 60% of GDP in developed economies.
In my view, while consumerism has its benefits, the negative impacts on society and the environment outweigh them. Governments and individuals must strive for a more balanced approach, promoting sustainable consumption and reducing waste. Education plays a crucial role in this shift, as it can help people understand the long-term consequences of their purchasing decisions.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response: The answer fully addresses the task, presenting a clear position and discussing both views. (9.0)
- Coherence and Cohesion: The arguments are logically organized, with clear progression and cohesive devices. (9.0)
- Lexical Resource: The response uses a wide range of advanced vocabulary appropriately. (9.0)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The grammar is sophisticated and error-free. (9.0)
Band 8.0 Answer
Sample Answer:
Consumerism is a double-edged sword, with both positive and negative effects on society. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument before giving my opinion.
On the negative side, consumerism can lead to environmental problems. For example, the production of goods often involves pollution, and the disposal of waste can harm ecosystems. Additionally, consumerism can create social issues, such as inequality and stress. People who cannot afford the latest products may feel left out, leading to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
On the positive side, consumerism drives economic growth. Businesses need consumers to buy their products, which creates jobs and boosts the economy. Moreover, consumerism can lead to innovation, as companies strive to create better products to meet consumer demand.
In my opinion, the negative effects of consumerism outweigh the positive ones. Governments should take steps to promote sustainable consumption and reduce waste. For instance, they could implement policies that encourage recycling and reduce packaging waste.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response: The answer addresses the task, presenting a clear position and discussing both views. (8.0)
- Coherence and Cohesion: The arguments are logically organized, but some cohesive devices are repetitive. (8.0)
- Lexical Resource: The response uses a range of vocabulary, but some words are used inaccurately. (8.0)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The grammar is generally accurate, but there are some minor errors. (8.0)
Band 7.0 Answer
Sample Answer:
Consumerism is a big problem in today's society. Some people think it is bad, while others think it is good. I will discuss both views and then give my opinion.
On one hand, consumerism is bad because it creates a lot of waste. For example, people buy a lot of things they do not need, and then they throw them away. This creates a lot of garbage and pollutes the environment. Also, consumerism can make people unhappy because they always want more things, but they can never be satisfied.
On the other hand, consumerism is good because it helps the economy. When people buy things, businesses make money, and this creates jobs. Also, consumerism can lead to new inventions because companies try to make better products to sell.
In my opinion, consumerism is mostly bad. Governments should do something to reduce it. For example, they could make laws that limit advertising or encourage people to buy less.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response: The answer addresses the task, but the position is not clearly stated. (7.0)
- Coherence and Cohesion: The arguments are presented, but the organization is somewhat unclear. (7.0)
- Lexical Resource: The response uses a limited range of vocabulary. (7.0)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The grammar is mostly accurate, but there are some errors. (7.0)
Band 6.0 Answer
Sample Answer:
Consumerism is when people buy a lot of things. Some people say it is bad, but others say it is good. I think it is bad.
Consumerism is bad because it makes people waste money. They buy things they do not need and then they have no money left. Also, it is bad for the environment because it creates a lot of garbage.
Some people say consumerism is good because it helps the economy. But I do not think this is important. The environment is more important than the economy.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response: The answer addresses the task, but the position is not clearly stated, and one view is not discussed. (6.0)
- Coherence and Cohesion: The arguments are presented, but the organization is unclear. (6.0)
- Lexical Resource: The response uses a very limited range of vocabulary. (6.0)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The grammar is inaccurate, with frequent errors. (6.0)
Vocabulary Highlights
- Traction: Gaining support or popularity. Example: The idea that consumerism is harmful has gained traction among environmentalists.
- Scourge: A cause of great trouble or suffering. Example: Fast fashion is a scourge on the environment.
- Relentless: Continuing without pause or rest. Example: The relentless pursuit of material possessions leads to waste.
- Excess: An amount or quantity that is more than necessary. Example: Consumerism fosters a culture of excess.
- Degradation: The process of being reduced in value, quality, or importance. Example: Fast fashion contributes to environmental degradation.
- Strain: Pressure or tension. Example: The pressure to keep up with the latest trends can lead to financial strain.
- Lifeblood: Something that is essential for the existence or proper functioning of something. Example: Consumerism is the lifeblood of economic progress.
- Catalyst: A person or event that quickly causes a change or reaction. Example: Consumerism is a catalyst for economic growth.
- Stimulates: Encourages or causes something to happen or develop. Example: Consumerism stimulates production and job creation.
- Outweigh: To be greater in number, importance, or influence. Example: The negative impacts of consumerism outweigh the positive ones.
- Promoting: Supporting or encouraging something. Example: Governments must promote sustainable consumption.
- Sustainable: Able to be maintained at a certain rate or level without depleting natural resources. Example: We need to promote sustainable consumption.
- Relentless: Continuing without pause or rest. Example: The relentless pursuit of material possessions leads to waste.
- Double-edged sword: A situation that has both positive and negative aspects. Example: Consumerism is a double-edged sword.
- Innovation: The introduction of something new. Example: Consumerism can lead to innovation.
- Implementation: The process of putting a plan or program into action. Example: Governments could implement policies that encourage recycling.
- Inadequacy: The state of being insufficient or not good enough. Example: Consumerism can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
- Strive: To make great efforts to obtain or achieve something. Example: We must strive for a more balanced approach to consumerism.
- Consequences: The results or effects of an action or situation. Example: Education can help people understand the consequences of their purchasing decisions.
- Purchasing decisions: The choices people make when buying goods or services. Example: People need to make better purchasing decisions.
- Relentless: Continuing without pause or rest. Example: The relentless pursuit of material possessions leads to waste.
- Scourge: A cause of great trouble or suffering. Example: Fast fashion is a scourge on the environment.
- Strain: Pressure or tension. Example: The pressure to keep up with the latest trends can lead to financial strain.
- Lifeblood: Something that is essential for the existence or proper functioning of something. Example: Consumerism is the lifeblood of economic progress.
- Catalyst: A person or event that quickly causes a change or reaction. Example: Consumerism is a catalyst for economic growth.
Common Mistakes Students Make on IELTS Writing Task 2 on Consumerism
- Lack of Clear Position: Many students fail to present a clear position on the topic. They discuss both views but do not state their opinion clearly.
- Weak Vocabulary: Students often use basic vocabulary, which limits their ability to express complex ideas. They should aim to use a range of advanced vocabulary to demonstrate their language skills.
- Poor Organization: Some students present their arguments in a disorganized manner, making it difficult for the examiner to follow their reasoning. They should use clear cohesive devices to connect their ideas.
- Grammatical Errors: Many students make grammatical errors, which can lower their score. They should proofread their work to ensure accuracy.
- Overgeneralization: Students often make broad statements without providing specific examples. They should support their arguments with relevant examples to make their points more convincing.
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