IELTS Writing Task 2: Consumerism - Band 6.5 Sample with Full Breakdown

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The Prompt

Many people believe that consumerism is a negative aspect of modern life. Others argue that it has positive effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Band 6.5 Model Answer

In recent years, consumerism has become a significant part of our daily lives. While some people argue that it has negative effects, others believe that it brings positive changes. This essay will discuss both views and then give my opinion.

On the one hand, consumerism can have negative impacts. Firstly, it can lead to environmental problems. The production and disposal of goods create pollution and waste. Secondly, consumerism can cause financial problems for individuals. Many people buy things they do not need and end up in debt. For example, credit card debt is a common issue in many countries.

On the other hand, consumerism also has positive effects. It drives economic growth by increasing demand for goods and services. This can lead to job creation and higher standards of living. Additionally, consumerism can improve our quality of life. New products and technologies can make our lives easier and more enjoyable. For instance, smartphones have become essential tools for communication and work.

In my opinion, the negative effects of consumerism outweigh the positive ones. While it is true that consumerism can drive economic growth, the environmental and financial problems it causes are more serious. Therefore, we should encourage more sustainable consumption habits.

Scoring Breakdown

Task Response (TR): 6.0 - The response presents a clear position but the arguments are not fully developed. The conclusion is somewhat predictable.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.5 - The ideas are logically organized but there is some repetition and the use of cohesive devices is not always accurate.

Lexical Resource (LR): 6.5 - The range of vocabulary is adequate but there are some errors in word choice and collocation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.5 - The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms but there are frequent grammatical errors.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Consumerism (noun): The belief that buying and using goods is beneficial or desirable.

• Example: Consumerism drives economic growth.

1. Environmental (adjective): Relating to the natural world and the impact of human activity on its conditions.

• Example: Environmental problems are a major concern.

1. Disposal (noun): The action or process of getting rid of something.

• Example: The disposal of goods creates pollution.

1. Debt (noun): The state of owing money.

• Example: Many people end up in debt due to consumerism.

1. Economic growth (noun phrase): An increase in the production of goods and services in an economy.

• Example: Consumerism drives economic growth.

1. Job creation (noun phrase): The process of generating new job opportunities.

• Example: Consumerism can lead to job creation.

1. Standards of living (noun phrase): The level of wealth, comfort, material goods, and necessities available to a certain socioeconomic class in a certain geographic area.

• Example: Consumerism can improve standards of living.

1. Sustainable (adjective): Able to be maintained at a certain rate or level without depleting natural resources.

• Example: We should encourage sustainable consumption habits.

1. Outweigh (verb): To be greater or more important than something else.

• Example: The negative effects outweigh the positive ones.

1. Predictable (adjective): Able to be predicted or foretold.

• Example: The conclusion is somewhat predictable.

1. Repetition (noun): The action or occasion of repeating something.

• Example: There is some repetition in the essay.

1. Collocation (noun): The habitual juxtaposition of a particular word with another word or words with a frequency greater than chance.

• Example: There are some errors in word choice and collocation.

1. Frequency (noun): The number of times that something happens within a particular period or in a particular sample.

• Example: There are frequent grammatical errors.

1. Essential (adjective): Absolutely necessary; indispensable.

• Example: Smartphones have become essential tools.

1. Encourage (verb): To give support, confidence, or hope to someone.

• Example: We should encourage sustainable consumption habits.

Common Mistakes

1. Lack of Depth: Many students provide superficial arguments without sufficient development or examples.

1. Repetition: Repeating the same ideas or phrases without adding new information.

1. Inaccurate Cohesive Devices: Using linking words incorrectly, which can confuse the reader.

1. Grammatical Errors: Frequent mistakes in grammar, such as subject-verb agreement or tense consistency.

1. Limited Vocabulary: Using a restricted range of vocabulary, which can make the essay sound monotonous.

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