IELTS Writing Task 2: Competition Vs Cooperation — Band 6.5 Sample with Full Breakdown
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Full Prompt
> Some people believe that competition is good for society, while others think cooperation is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Band 6.5 Sample Answer
Competition and Co-Operation: Which is More Beneficial to Society?
In contemporary society, there exists a debate surrounding whether competition or co-operation is more beneficial. This essay will examine both viewpoints before presenting my perspective.
On one hand, competition drives progress in various fields. For instance, in business, companies compete to create better products, leading to innovation. Similarly, in education, students compete for top grades, which motivates them to study harder. Additionally, competition can foster personal growth, as individuals strive to improve their skills. Therefore, competition plays a crucial role in pushing society forward.
On the other hand, co-operation is essential for achieving common goals. In the workplace, teamwork enables colleagues to combine their strengths and accomplish tasks more efficiently. Moreover, co-operation promotes harmony and reduces conflict. For example, international co-operation is vital for addressing global issues like climate change. Thus, co-operation is indispensable for maintaining social stability and tackling collective challenges.
In my opinion, while competition has its merits, co-operation is ultimately more important. Competition can create stress and inequality, whereas co-operation fosters inclusivity and mutual support. For society to thrive, it is imperative that we strike a balance between these two approaches, prioritizing co-operation when it comes to resolving complex, interdependent problems.
Scoring Breakdown
Task Response (TR): 6.0
- Presents a clear position throughout the response
- Examines both views but with limited development
- Presents, extends, and supports main trends, but with some limitations
Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0
- Uses paragraphs to separate ideas logically
- Uses cohesive devices effectively, but with some overuse and mechanicality
- Logical sequence is clear, though some aspects may be formulaic
Lexical Resource (LR): 6.5
- Uses a mix of appropriate and less precise vocabulary
- Attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracies
- Some repetition and limited range of vocabulary
Grammar Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.5
- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
- Makes frequent errors in grammar and punctuation
- Errors can sometimes hinder understanding
Vocabulary Highlights
- Contemporary (adjective): Existing or occurring at the present time
- Example: Contemporary society faces unique challenges.
- Debate (noun): A formal discussion on a particular topic
- Example: The debate surrounding climate change is heating up.
- Drive (verb): To compel or push someone to take action
- Example: Competition drives innovation in the tech industry.
- Foster (verb): To encourage or promote the development of something
- Example: Teamwork fosters a positive work environment.
- Imperative (adjective): Of vital importance
- Example: It is imperative that we address this issue immediately.
- Inclusivity (noun): The practice of providing equal access and opportunities
- Example: The policy promotes inclusivity in the workplace.
- Interdependent (adjective): Mutually reliant on each other
- Example: The economies of these countries are interdependent.
- Merit (noun): A quality or feature that is good or valuable
- Example: The proposal has several merits worth considering.
- Mutual (adjective): Shared or experienced by two or more parties
- Example: Mutual respect is essential in any relationship.
- Prioritize (verb): To arrange or deal with in order of importance
- Example: We need to prioritize our tasks effectively.
- Strike a balance (idiom): To find a middle ground or compromise
- Example: It's important to strike a balance between work and leisure.
- Tackle (verb): To deal with a difficult situation or problem
- Example: The government needs to tackle the issue of poverty.
- Thrive (verb): To flourish or prosper
- Example: Businesses thrive in a competitive market.
- Vital (adjective): Absolutely necessary or important
- Example: Water is vital for survival.
- Viewpoint (noun): A particular attitude or way of considering a matter
- Example: Let's consider this issue from a different viewpoint.
Common Mistakes in Competition vs Cooperation Essays
- Overgeneralizing: Making sweeping statements without sufficient evidence or examples
- Lack of Balance: Failing to adequately address both sides of the argument
- Repetition: Using the same words or phrases repeatedly without variation
- Inaccurate Vocabulary: Using words incorrectly or inappropriately
- Poor Grammar: Making frequent grammatical errors that hinder understanding
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