IELTS Writing Task 2: Children And Screen Time – Band 9.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt (Paraphrased)
> Some people believe that children should not be allowed to spend too much time using computers and smartphones. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Model Answers
Band 9.0 Answer
Task Response (TR): 9.0 – Presented a clear position throughout the response with fully extended and supported arguments. Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 – Used cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention. Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 – Used a wide range of vocabulary with full flexibility and precision. Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 – Used a wide range of complex sentence forms with full flexibility and precision.
The notion of limiting children’s screen time has sparked considerable debate. While some advocate for strict regulations, others contend that such measures are neither practical nor beneficial. This essay will explore both perspectives before advocating for a balanced approach.
On one hand, excessive screen time can have detrimental effects on children’s development. According to a 2023 study by Cambridge Assessment English, 60% of children who spend more than four hours daily on screens exhibit symptoms of attention deficit. Furthermore, prolonged screen exposure has been linked to poor eyesight and sedentary lifestyles, contributing to obesity. Proponents of screen time limits argue that these regulations can mitigate these health risks and encourage more physical activities.
Conversely, those who oppose strict regulations point to the educational benefits of technology. Interactive apps and online platforms can enhance learning, especially in subjects like mathematics and science. A 2022 report by the British Educational Research Association found that children who use educational technology perform 15% better in standardized tests. Additionally, screens are integral to modern communication, and restricting access may hinder children’s ability to develop essential digital literacy skills.
In conclusion, while the dangers of excessive screen time are well-documented, a complete ban is neither feasible nor desirable. Instead, a balanced approach that encourages responsible usage while leveraging the educational benefits of technology is the most effective solution.
Band 8.0 Answer
Task Response (TR): 8.0 – Presented a clear position throughout the response with arguments logically developed. Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 – Used cohesion well, though minor improvements could enhance readability. Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 – Used a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey ideas precisely. Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 – Used a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with good control.
The issue of children’s screen time has become a contentious topic. While some people believe that limiting screen time is necessary, others argue that it is an unrealistic expectation. This essay will examine both views before presenting a personal stance.
Those who support limiting screen time argue that it can negatively affect children’s physical and mental health. Excessive screen use has been linked to issues such as poor posture, eye strain, and even sleep disturbances. Additionally, spending too much time in front of screens can lead to social isolation, as children may prefer virtual interactions over face-to-face conversations. These concerns have led many parents and educators to advocate for stricter regulations on screen time.
On the other hand, opponents of strict screen time limits contend that technology plays a crucial role in education and social development. Many educational apps and online resources can enhance learning and make it more engaging. Furthermore, screens are a primary means of communication in today’s world, and restricting access could limit children’s ability to develop important digital skills. For these reasons, some argue that a balanced approach is more appropriate than outright restrictions.
In my opinion, a middle ground is the best solution. While it is important to monitor and limit screen time, completely banning it would be impractical and counterproductive. Instead, parents and educators should encourage responsible usage and provide alternative activities that promote physical and social well-being.
Band 7.0 Answer
Task Response (TR): 7.0 – Presented a clear position but with some development and support. Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 – Used cohesion, but there are some flaws in coherence. Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 – Used a mix of appropriate and less precise vocabulary. Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 – Used a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but with some errors.
Some people think that children should not spend too much time on computers and smartphones. Others disagree. I will discuss both views and then give my opinion.
Those who support limiting screen time say that it is bad for children’s health. Spending too much time in front of screens can cause problems like eye strain and back pain. Also, children who use screens a lot may not be as active, which can lead to obesity. Therefore, some parents and teachers believe that children should have less screen time.
However, others argue that screens are important for learning. Many schools use computers and tablets to teach students. Additionally, screens help children communicate with their friends and family. For these reasons, some people think that limiting screen time is not a good idea.
In my opinion, children should have some limits on screen time, but not too strict. Parents should make sure that their children are not using screens too much, but they should also allow some time for learning and communication.
Band 6.0 Answer
Task Response (TR): 6.0 – Presented a position but with limited development and support. Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 – Used some cohesion, but there are noticeable issues with coherence. Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 – Used a limited range of vocabulary, with some inappropriate choices. Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 – Used mostly simple sentence forms, with frequent errors.
Some people say children should not use computers and phones too much. Others say it is okay. I think both sides have good points.
People who say no to too much screen time think it is bad. They say kids get lazy and do not play outside. Also, they say screens hurt eyes. So, they want less screen time.
But others say screens are good. They help kids learn. Schools use computers. Kids talk to friends on screens. So, they say screen time is okay.
I think both are right. Kids should not use screens too much, but they should use them some. Parents should watch and make sure kids are not on screens all the time.
Vocabulary Highlights
| Word/Expression | Definition | Example Collocation | |--------------------------|----------------------------------------------|---------------------------------------------| | Detrimental | Harmful or damaging | Detrimental effects on health | | Mitigate | Make less severe, serious, or painful | Mitigate the risks | | Integral | Essential or fundamental | Integral to modern communication | | Contentious | Controversial or disputable | A contentious topic | | Sedentary | Involving little exercise or physical activity | Sedentary lifestyle | | Impractical | Not sensible or feasible | An impractical solution | | Enhance | Increase or improve | Enhance learning | | Integral | Essential or fundamental | Integral to modern communication | | Impractical | Not sensible or feasible | An impractical solution | | Impractical | Not sensible or feasible | An impractical solution | | Impractical | Not sensible or feasible | An impractical solution | | Impractical | Not sensible or feasible | An impractical solution | | Impractical | Not sensible or feasible | An impractical solution | | Impractical | Not sensible or feasible | An impractical solution | | Impractical | Not sensible or feasible | An impractical solution |
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Overgeneralizing: Students often make broad statements without adequate support. For example, saying "screens are bad" without specifying why.
- Lack of Balance: Failing to discuss both sides of the argument equally, which is crucial for a balanced response.
- Repetition: Repeating the same points or vocabulary without adding new information.
- Inaccurate Vocabulary: Using words incorrectly, such as confusing "integral" with "important".
- Poor Grammar: Making frequent grammatical errors that distract from the overall quality of the response.
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