IELTS Writing Task 2: Children And Screen Time — Band 6.5 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Some people believe that children should spend less time on screens and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Band 6.5 Sample Answer
In my opinion, children should spend less time on screens and more time engaging in physical activities. This is because excessive screen time can lead to health problems and a lack of social skills.
Firstly, too much screen time can cause health issues. According to studies, children who spend a lot of time in front of screens are more likely to become obese. This is because they are not as active as they should be. Additionally, staring at screens for long periods can cause eye strain and other problems. For example, many children now suffer from headaches and poor eyesight because of too much screen time.
Secondly, spending too much time on screens can lead to a lack of social skills. Children need to interact with other people to develop these skills. However, when they are always on their phones or tablets, they miss out on these important interactions. For instance, a child who spends all day playing video games may find it difficult to communicate with others in real life.
On the other hand, some people argue that screens are necessary for education. While it is true that screens can be useful for learning, there are other ways for children to gain knowledge. For example, reading books, going to museums, and participating in educational programs can all be beneficial.
In conclusion, I believe that children should spend less time on screens and more time doing physical activities. This will help them stay healthy and develop important social skills.
Scoring Breakdown
Task Response (TR) - Band 6
- Presents a clear position throughout the response.
- Presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be some irrelevant details or overgeneralizations.
- Provides some supporting ideas but these are not always fully developed.
Coherence and Cohesion (CC) - Band 6
- Arranges information and ideas coherently but there may be some unclear logical progression.
- Uses cohesive devices effectively but there may be some mechanical or inappropriate uses.
- Uses paragraphing, but there may be some uneven or awkward paragraphing.
Lexical Resource (LR) - Band 6
- Uses a mix of appropriate and less appropriate vocabulary.
- May use some less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation.
- May make some errors in word formation and spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA) - Band 6
- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
- Makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but these do not impede understanding.
- May make some errors in verb forms, such as tense and agreement.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Excessive (adj) - More than is necessary or desirable.
- Example: Excessive screen time can lead to health problems.
- Engaging (adj) - Participating or involved in an activity.
- Example: Children should spend more time engaging in physical activities.
- Obesity (n) - The state of being extremely overweight.
- Example: Children who spend a lot of time in front of screens are more likely to become obese.
- Eye strain (n) - Discomfort or pain in the eyes caused by intense use.
- Example: Staring at screens for long periods can cause eye strain.
- Interaction (n) - Communication or direct involvement with others.
- Example: Children need to interact with other people to develop social skills.
- Video games (n) - Electronic games played on a screen.
- Example: A child who spends all day playing video games may find it difficult to communicate with others in real life.
- Educational programs (n) - Structured programs designed to teach or instruct.
- Example: Participating in educational programs can be beneficial.
- Gain knowledge (v) - To learn or acquire information.
- Example: There are other ways for children to gain knowledge.
- Beneficial (adj) - Resulting in good or helpful effects.
- Example: Reading books, going to museums, and participating in educational programs can all be beneficial.
- Healthy (adj) - In good health.
- Example: This will help them stay healthy.
- Social skills (n) - The skills needed to interact and communicate with others.
- Example: This will help them develop important social skills.
- Fully developed (adj) - Complete or fully formed.
- Example: Provides some supporting ideas but these are not always fully developed.
- Inaccuracies (n) - Mistakes or errors.
- Example: May use some less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation.
- Mechanical (adj) - Lacking in natural or spontaneous quality.
- Example: Uses cohesive devices effectively but there may be some mechanical or inappropriate uses.
- Uneven (adj) - Lacking in consistency or smoothness.
- Example: May be some uneven or awkward paragraphing.
- Inappropriate (adj) - Not suitable or proper.
- Example: Uses cohesive devices effectively but there may be some mechanical or inappropriate uses.
- Overgeneralizations (n) - Making broad or sweeping statements.
- Example: Presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be some irrelevant details or overgeneralizations.
- Awkward (adj) - Lacking in grace or skill.
- Example: May be some uneven or awkward paragraphing.
- Mechanical uses (n) - Uses that are not natural or spontaneous.
- Example: Uses cohesive devices effectively but there may be some mechanical or inappropriate uses.
- Irrelevant details (n) - Details that are not pertinent or necessary.
- Example: Presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be some irrelevant details or overgeneralizations.
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Overgeneralizing - Making broad statements that are not fully supported.
- Inappropriate vocabulary - Using words that are not suitable or accurate.
- Mechanical cohesive devices - Using cohesive devices in a way that is not natural or spontaneous.
- Uneven paragraphing - Having paragraphs that are not consistent or smooth.
- Grammar errors - Making errors in grammar and punctuation that impede understanding.
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