IELTS Writing Task 2: Censorship Discussion Sample Band 9
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The Prompt
> Some people believe that censorship is a necessary tool to maintain social order, while others argue that it suppresses freedom of expression. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0 (Weak Response)
Censorship is bad because it stops people from saying what they want. Some countries censor the internet and books. This is wrong because people should be able to read and say whatever they want. But in some cases, maybe it is necessary. For example, if someone is saying bad things about other people, censorship can stop this. Maybe both sides are correct.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (4.0): Presents a position but does not extend or support it fully.
- Coherence and Cohesion (5.0): Ideas are presented but there is no clear progression.
- Lexical Resource (5.0): Limited vocabulary with some errors.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (5.0): Frequent grammatical errors that impede understanding.
Band 7.0 (Good Response)
Censorship is a contentious issue with valid arguments on both sides. Proponents argue that it maintains social order by preventing harmful content from spreading. For instance, censorship can protect minors from inappropriate material. However, opponents contend that it infringes on freedom of expression, a fundamental human right. While some level of censorship may be justified, excessive control can stifle creativity and open dialogue.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (6.0): Presents a clear position with some extension and support.
- Coherence and Cohesion (7.0): Ideas are logically organized but could be more sophisticated.
- Lexical Resource (7.0): Uses a mix of appropriate and less precise vocabulary.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (7.0): Some grammatical errors but generally understandable.
Band 8.0 (Strong Response)
The debate surrounding censorship is multifaceted, with compelling arguments on both sides. Advocates of censorship assert that it is essential for maintaining social harmony and protecting vulnerable populations. For example, censoring hate speech can prevent social unrest and violence. Conversely, detractors argue that censorship undermines the principles of free speech and can be used as a tool for political control. While some forms of censorship are necessary, a balanced approach is crucial to avoid excessive restrictions.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (7.0): Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (8.0): Ideas are logically organized with clear progression.
- Lexical Resource (8.0): Uses a range of appropriate vocabulary with some less common lexical items.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (8.0): Some grammatical errors but generally well-structured sentences.
Band 9.0 (Excellent Response)
Censorship is a complex issue that elicits strong opinions from both proponents and opponents. Those in favor of censorship argue that it is a crucial mechanism for preserving social order and protecting societal values. For instance, censoring extremist propaganda can mitigate the risk of radicalization and violence. Conversely, critics contend that censorship is a form of governmental overreach that stifles intellectual freedom and creative expression. While some degree of censorship is inevitable in any society, it is imperative that it is implemented judiciously to avoid infringing upon fundamental liberties.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (9.0): Presents a clear position with fully extended and supported ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (9.0): Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices.
- Lexical Resource (9.0): Uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary with precise and sophisticated lexical items.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (9.0): Uses a wide range of grammatical structures with minimal errors.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Contentious (adj.): Controversial or disputed.
- Example: The issue of censorship is highly contentious.
- Proponents (n.): Supporters or advocates.
- Example: Proponents of censorship argue for its necessity.
- Infringes (v.): Violates or encroaches upon.
- Example: Censorship infringes on freedom of expression.
- Stifle (v.): Suppress or smother.
- Example: Excessive censorship stifles creativity.
- Multifaceted (adj.): Having many different aspects.
- Example: The debate surrounding censorship is multifaceted.
- Harmony (n.): A state of peaceful existence.
- Example: Censorship maintains social harmony.
- Vulnerable (adj.): Susceptible to harm or attack.
- Example: Censorship protects vulnerable populations.
- Detractors (n.): Critics or opponents.
- Example: Detractors argue against censorship.
- Judiciously (adv.): With good judgment.
- Example: Censorship should be implemented judiciously.
- Infringing (v.): Violating or encroaching upon.
- Example: Censorship can infringe upon fundamental liberties.
- Extremist (n.): A person holding extreme political or religious views.
- Example: Censoring extremist propaganda can mitigate violence.
- Radicalization (n.): The process of making someone embrace extreme views.
- Example: Censorship can mitigate the risk of radicalization.
- Overreach (n.): Exceeding the limits of authority.
- Example: Censorship can be a form of governmental overreach.
- Imperative (adj.): Of vital importance.
- Example: It is imperative that censorship is implemented judiciously.
- Judicious (adj.): Showing good judgment.
- Example: A judicious approach to censorship is necessary.
Common Mistakes
- Vague Language: Using general statements without specific examples or details.
- Poor Structure: Failing to organize ideas logically, leading to confusion.
- Limited Vocabulary: Using repetitive or basic vocabulary instead of more sophisticated terms.
- Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical mistakes that hinder understanding.
- One-Sided Arguments: Focusing only on one side of the discussion without acknowledging the opposing view.
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