IELTS Writing Task 2: Censorship - Band 7.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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Full Prompt
Some people argue that censorship is a necessary measure to protect society, while others believe it restricts freedom of expression. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Band 7.0 Model Answer
Censorship is a controversial issue with valid arguments on both sides. While some people believe it is essential for maintaining order and protecting vulnerable groups, others claim it infringes upon individual liberties and stifles creativity. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my opinion.
On one hand, censorship can serve several important functions in society. Firstly, it can protect minors from inappropriate content that might harm their development. For example, many countries censor violent or sexually explicit material in media targeted at children. Secondly, censorship can prevent the spread of false information that could cause public panic or social unrest. During health crises, governments often censor misinformation about treatments to maintain public order. These examples demonstrate how censorship can serve as a protective mechanism for society.
On the other hand, censorship can have significant negative consequences. Perhaps its most obvious drawback is the restriction of free speech, a fundamental human right. When governments or institutions censor information, they essentially dictate what people can and cannot know, which can lead to a culture of secrecy and distrust. Moreover, censorship can stifle artistic expression and innovation. Many great works of literature, film, and art have faced censorship throughout history, demonstrating how it can inhibit creativity.
In my view, while censorship has some legitimate purposes, it should be used sparingly and only in extreme cases. A balance must be struck between protecting society and preserving individual freedoms. Rather than implementing blanket censorship policies, governments should focus on education and critical thinking skills to help people evaluate information for themselves. This approach would allow for greater freedom of expression while still providing some level of protection against harmful content.
Scoring Breakdown
| Criteria | Band 7.0 Performance | |-----------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Task Response | Presents a clear position throughout the response. Presents, extends, and supports main trends/destinations, arguments, and relevant, sufficient, and clear supporting ideas. | | Coherence & Cohesion | Uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical. Paragraphing may be inadequate. | | Lexical Resource | Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision. May make some errors in word choice, spelling, and/or word formation that may cause some difficulty for the reader. | | Grammatical Range & Accuracy | Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. Makes occasional errors in grammar and punctuation that may obscure meaning. |
Analysis
- Task Response: The response presents a clear position on censorship and discusses both views as requested. Each paragraph develops the ideas sufficiently with relevant examples.
- Coherence & Cohesion: The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphs. Connectives like 'On one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In my view,' help guide the reader through the arguments.
- Lexical Resource: The vocabulary is appropriate for a Band 7.0 response. Words like 'controversial,' 'infringes,' 'stifles,' 'inappropriate,' and 'inhibit' demonstrate a sufficient range.
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy: The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentences. There are some errors ('serve several important functions' instead of 'can serve several important functions'), but they do not significantly impede understanding.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Controversial (adj): debated or argued about; contentious
- Collocation: controversial issue, controversial topic, spark controversy
- Infringes (v): acts contrary to law or moral principles
- Collocation: infringe upon rights, infringe copyright, infringement of privacy
- Stifles (v): prevents or restricts something
- Collocation: stifle creativity, stifle dissent, stifling atmosphere
- Inappropriate (adj): not suitable or proper in the circumstances
- Collocation: inappropriate content, inappropriate behavior, inappropriate dress
- Inhibit (v): hinder, restrain, or prevent an action or process
- Collocation: inhibit growth, inhibit creativity, inhibit development
- Fundamental (adj): forming a necessary base or core; of central importance
- Collocation: fundamental right, fundamental principle, fundamental difference
- Spread (v): to cause something to move or exist over an increasing area or among an increasing number of people
- Collocation: spread information, spread disease, spread awareness
- Misinformation (n): false or inaccurate information, especially that which is deliberately intended to deceive
- Collocation: spread misinformation, combat misinformation, correct misinformation
- Panic (n): sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety.
- Collocation: cause panic, public panic, panic buying
- Secrecy (n): the action of keeping something secret
- Collocation: culture of secrecy, maintain secrecy, secrecy agreement
- Explicit (adj): stated clearly and in detail, leaving no room for confusion
- Collocation: explicit content, explicit instructions, explicit agreement
- Targeted (adj): aimed or directed at a particular person or thing
- Collocation: targeted at children, targeted advertising, targeted audience
- Implement (v): put a decision, plan, agreement, etc. into effect
- Collocation: implement policies, implement changes, implement strategies
- Preserving (v): maintain (something) in its original or intact state
- Collocation: preserve freedom, preserve culture, preserve traditions
- Evaluation (n): the making of a judgement about the amount, number, or value of something
- Collocation: evaluate information, self-evaluation, evaluation criteria
Common Mistakes
- Overgeneralization: Students often make sweeping statements without sufficient support. For example, saying 'Censorship is always bad' without qualifiers or examples.
- Lack of Balance: Failing to discuss both views equally can result in a lower Task Response score. Ensure you give adequate attention to both sides of the argument.
- Vague Vocabulary: Using words like 'good,' 'bad,' 'important,' etc., without specific examples or elaboration can weaken your response.
- Grammatical Errors: Common errors include subject-verb agreement, article usage, and tense consistency. Proofread your essay to catch these mistakes.
- Poor Paragraph Structure: Each paragraph should focus on one main idea. Mixing ideas within a paragraph can make your writing confusing and reduce coherence.
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