IELTS Writing Task 2: Arts In Schools (Two Part Question) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers

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The Prompt

Prompt: Some people believe that arts subjects such as music and drama are as important as academic subjects like science and mathematics. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Also, should schools dedicate more resources to arts education?

Model Answers

Band 6.0 Answer

Thesis: I think arts subjects are important, but not as important as academic subjects. Schools should not spend too much money on arts education.

Body Paragraph 1: Arts subjects like music and drama can help students relax and express themselves. For example, playing an instrument can reduce stress. However, academic subjects are more important because they help students get jobs. Science and math are needed for many careers.

Body Paragraph 2: Schools should not spend too much money on arts education. They should focus on academic subjects because these are more important for students' future. If schools spend too much on arts, they might not have enough money for science labs or math teachers.

Conclusion: In conclusion, arts subjects are good for students, but academic subjects are more important. Schools should not spend too much money on arts education.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): Band 6 - Presents a position but with some limitations in development.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Band 6 - Uses some cohesive devices but with some inaccuracies.
• Lexical Resource (LR): Band 6 - Uses a mix of appropriate and limited vocabulary.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Band 6 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors.

Band 7.0 Answer

Thesis: While arts subjects have their benefits, academic subjects are more crucial for students' future success. Schools should allocate resources wisely, focusing more on core academic areas.

Body Paragraph 1: Arts subjects such as music and drama offer valuable benefits, including stress relief and creative expression. For instance, participating in a school play can boost confidence and teamwork. However, academic subjects like science and mathematics are essential for students' future careers. These subjects provide the foundational knowledge needed for many professions.

Body Paragraph 2: Schools should prioritize academic subjects when allocating resources. Investing in science labs and qualified math teachers can better prepare students for higher education and the job market. While arts education is important, it should not divert funds from more critical academic needs.

Conclusion: In summary, although arts subjects have their merits, academic subjects are more important for students' future. Schools should allocate resources accordingly, ensuring a balanced but focused approach to education.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): Band 7 - Presents a clear position with some development and relevant examples.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Band 7 - Uses cohesive devices effectively but with some inconsistencies.
• Lexical Resource (LR): Band 7 - Uses a range of vocabulary with some less precise word choices.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Band 7 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors.

Band 8.0 Answer

Thesis: Arts subjects play a vital role in education, fostering creativity and emotional intelligence, but academic subjects remain the cornerstone of a successful future. Schools should strike a balance, ensuring adequate resources for both areas.

Body Paragraph 1: Arts subjects like music and drama are invaluable for developing creativity and emotional intelligence. For example, learning to play a musical instrument enhances cognitive skills and discipline. Drama classes improve communication and empathy, which are crucial in today's diverse society. However, academic subjects such as science and mathematics are indispensable for students' future careers, providing the analytical and technical skills needed in many professions.

Body Paragraph 2: Schools should allocate resources wisely, ensuring a balanced approach to education. Investing in both arts and academic subjects can create a well-rounded curriculum. For instance, funding music programs can complement science labs, offering students a holistic education. This balanced approach prepares students for both personal fulfillment and professional success.

Conclusion: In conclusion, while arts subjects are essential for personal development, academic subjects are crucial for career success. Schools should strive for a balanced allocation of resources, fostering a comprehensive educational experience.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): Band 8 - Presents a clear position with well-developed arguments and relevant examples.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Band 8 - Uses cohesive devices effectively, creating a logical flow of ideas.
• Lexical Resource (LR): Band 8 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with some less precise word choices.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Band 8 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors.

Band 9.0 Answer

Thesis: Arts subjects are indispensable in education, cultivating creativity and emotional intelligence, but academic subjects remain the bedrock of future success. Schools must allocate resources judiciously, ensuring a harmonious blend of both.

Body Paragraph 1: Arts subjects such as music and drama are pivotal in nurturing creativity and emotional intelligence. For instance, participating in a school orchestra enhances cognitive skills and discipline, while drama classes foster communication and empathy. These skills are invaluable in today's interconnected world, where emotional intelligence is as crucial as technical prowess. However, academic subjects like science and mathematics are the bedrock of future success, providing the analytical and technical skills necessary for most professions.

Body Paragraph 2: Schools must allocate resources strategically to create a harmonious blend of arts and academic subjects. Investing in both areas ensures a well-rounded education. For example, funding music programs can complement science labs, offering students a holistic educational experience. This balanced approach prepares students for both personal fulfillment and professional success, equipping them with the skills needed to thrive in a diverse and competitive world.

Conclusion: In conclusion, arts subjects are essential for personal development, while academic subjects are crucial for career success. Schools should strive for a balanced allocation of resources, fostering a comprehensive educational experience that prepares students for the challenges of the future.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): Band 9 - Presents a clear, supported, and extended position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Band 9 - Uses cohesive devices effectively, creating a logical flow of ideas.
• Lexical Resource (LR): Band 9 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with full flexibility and precision.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Band 9 - Uses a wide range of complex sentence forms with full flexibility and precision.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Indispensable: Essential; crucial. Example: Arts subjects are indispensable in education.
2. Cultivating: Developing or nurturing. Example: Arts subjects cultivate creativity and emotional intelligence.
3. Bedrock: The foundation or basis. Example: Academic subjects are the bedrock of future success.
4. Judiciously: With good judgment. Example: Schools must allocate resources judiciously.
5. Harmonious: Balanced and consistent. Example: A harmonious blend of arts and academic subjects.
6. Pivotal: Crucial or central. Example: Arts subjects are pivotal in nurturing creativity.
7. Interconnected: Linked or related. Example: Today's interconnected world.
8. Technical prowess: Skill or expertise in a particular area. Example: Technical prowess is crucial in many professions.
9. Strategically: With careful planning. Example: Schools must allocate resources strategically.
10. Holistic: Comprehensive or complete. Example: A holistic educational experience.
11. Equipping: Providing with necessary skills or tools. Example: Equipping students with the skills needed to thrive.
12. Thrive: To flourish or prosper. Example: Students need to thrive in a competitive world.
13. Diverse: Varied or different. Example: Today's diverse society.
14. Complement: To enhance or complete. Example: Funding music programs can complement science labs.
15. Professional success: Achievement in one's career. Example: Academic subjects are crucial for professional success.

Common Mistakes Students Make

1. Ignoring the Two-Part Question: Focusing only on one part of the question and neglecting the other.
2. Lack of Specific Examples: Using vague or generic examples instead of specific, relevant ones.
3. Poor Vocabulary Choices: Using limited or repetitive vocabulary, which can lower the Lexical Resource score.
4. Inadequate Coherence and Cohesion: Failing to use cohesive devices effectively, leading to a disjointed essay.
5. Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical mistakes, which can significantly impact the Grammatical Range and Accuracy score.

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