IELTS Writing Task 2: Arts In Schools (Discussion) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers

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Prompt

Some people believe that schools should focus more on academic subjects and spend less time on arts and music. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Model Answers

Band 6.0

The arts are important in schools because they help students to be creative and express themselves. However, some people think that schools should focus more on academic subjects. I agree with this because academic subjects are more important for students' future careers.

In my opinion, schools should teach more academic subjects like math and science. These subjects are very important for students to get good jobs in the future. For example, engineers and doctors need to know math and science. Arts and music are not as important because they do not help students to get high-paying jobs.

However, some people say that arts and music help students to be creative. While this is true, students can still be creative in academic subjects. For example, scientists need to be creative to solve problems. Therefore, schools should focus more on academic subjects and spend less time on arts and music.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): Presents a position but lacks development and supporting ideas (Band 6)
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are presented but lack clear progression and cohesive devices (Band 6)
• Lexical Resource (LR): Limited range of vocabulary with some errors (Band 6)
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Limited range of sentence structures with frequent errors (Band 6)

Band 7.0

The role of arts and music in schools has been a topic of debate. While some argue that academic subjects should be prioritized, I believe that a balanced approach is essential for students' holistic development.

On one hand, academic subjects such as mathematics, science, and language arts are crucial for students' future careers. These subjects provide students with the necessary skills and knowledge to excel in various professions. For instance, a strong foundation in mathematics is essential for careers in engineering, technology, and finance. Moreover, language arts help students develop critical thinking and communication skills, which are valuable in any field.

On the other hand, arts and music play a significant role in students' cognitive and emotional development. Engaging in artistic activities can enhance creativity, problem-solving skills, and self-expression. For example, learning to play a musical instrument can improve memory, concentration, and discipline. Additionally, arts and music can foster a sense of community and cultural awareness, which is beneficial in an increasingly diverse world.

In conclusion, while academic subjects are important for students' future careers, arts and music are equally vital for their overall development. Therefore, schools should strive to maintain a balanced curriculum that incorporates both academic and artistic disciplines.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with some development and supporting ideas (Band 7)
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with some use of cohesive devices (Band 7)
• Lexical Resource (LR): Adequate range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items (Band 7)
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Adequate range of sentence structures with some errors (Band 7)

Band 8.0

The debate surrounding the emphasis on arts and music in schools versus academic subjects is multifaceted. While proponents of academic focus argue for practical career benefits, I contend that a comprehensive education must encompass both realms to nurture well-rounded individuals.

Proponents of prioritizing academic subjects posit that disciplines such as mathematics, science, and language arts are indispensable for career success. These subjects equip students with analytical, problem-solving, and communication skills that are highly valued in the job market. For instance, a solid grasp of mathematical principles is essential for careers in engineering, data analysis, and financial management. Furthermore, proficiency in language arts enhances critical thinking and articulation, which are transferable skills across various professions.

Conversely, the integration of arts and music in the curriculum offers unique cognitive and emotional benefits. Engaging in artistic pursuits stimulates creativity, innovation, and divergent thinking, which are crucial for addressing complex challenges in the modern world. For example, studies have shown that students involved in music education exhibit improved memory, concentration, and spatial-temporal skills. Additionally, arts and music foster cultural appreciation, empathy, and social cohesion, which are vital in an interconnected global society.

In conclusion, while academic subjects lay the foundation for career readiness, arts and music are instrumental in cultivating creativity, emotional intelligence, and cultural awareness. Therefore, schools should adopt an integrated approach that values both academic and artistic disciplines to provide students with a holistic education.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with thorough development and supporting ideas (Band 8)
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with effective use of cohesive devices (Band 8)
• Lexical Resource (LR): Adequate range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items (Band 8)
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Adequate range of sentence structures with some errors (Band 8)

Band 9.0

The dichotomy between prioritizing academic subjects and fostering arts and music in schools is a contentious issue. While some advocate for a curriculum skewed towards academic disciplines, I assert that a balanced approach is imperative for cultivating intellectually and artistically adept individuals.

Advocates for an academically oriented curriculum argue that subjects such as mathematics, science, and language arts are pivotal for career advancement. These disciplines impart analytical acumen, technical proficiency, and linguistic dexterity, which are highly sought after in the contemporary job market. For instance, a robust foundation in mathematical principles is indispensable for careers in engineering, data science, and financial analysis. Moreover, language arts enhance critical thinking, persuasive communication, and literary appreciation, which are invaluable in diverse professional contexts.

However, the role of arts and music in education extends beyond mere recreational activities. Engaging in artistic endeavors cultivates creativity, innovation, and emotional intelligence, which are essential for navigating the complexities of the 21st century. Empirical research has demonstrated that students involved in music education exhibit enhanced cognitive abilities, including improved memory, concentration, and spatial-temporal reasoning. Furthermore, arts and music foster cultural literacy, social empathy, and collaborative skills, which are crucial for fostering inclusive and harmonious societies.

In conclusion, while academic subjects are undeniably important for career readiness, arts and music are instrumental in nurturing creativity, emotional intelligence, and cultural awareness. Therefore, schools should adopt a balanced curriculum that integrates both academic and artistic disciplines to provide students with a comprehensive and enriching educational experience.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): Presents a clear, informed position with thorough development and supporting ideas (Band 9)
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with effective use of cohesive devices (Band 9)
• Lexical Resource (LR): Sophisticated vocabulary with precise usage and natural collocations (Band 9)
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Sophisticated sentence structures with minimal errors (Band 9)

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Debate: A discussion involving opposing viewpoints (e.g., The debate surrounding arts in schools is ongoing.)
2. Prioritize: To give higher importance or preference (e.g., Schools should prioritize both academic and artistic subjects.)
3. Holistic: Relating to the whole of something (e.g., A holistic education includes both academic and artistic disciplines.)
4. Indispensable: Absolutely necessary (e.g., A strong foundation in mathematics is indispensable for engineering careers.)
5. Cultivate: To develop or improve a quality or skill (e.g., Arts and music help cultivate creativity and emotional intelligence.)
6. Empirical: Based on observation or experience (e.g., Empirical research shows the benefits of music education.)
7. Literacy: Knowledge or competence (e.g., Arts and music foster cultural literacy.)
8. Inclusive: Including all groups or individuals (e.g., Arts and music promote inclusive and harmonious societies.)
9. Dexterity: Skill in performing tasks, especially with the hands (e.g., Language arts enhance linguistic dexterity.)
10. Navigating: Managing or dealing with a difficult situation (e.g., Arts and music help students navigate complex challenges.)
11. Invaluable: Extremely useful (e.g., Language arts are invaluable in diverse professional contexts.)
12. Comprehensive: Including all or nearly all aspects (e.g., A comprehensive education includes both academic and artistic disciplines.)
13. Enhance: To increase or improve (e.g., Arts and music enhance cognitive abilities.)
14. Empathy: The ability to understand and share the feelings of others (e.g., Arts and music foster social empathy.)
15. Collaborative: Involving cooperation (e.g., Arts and music promote collaborative skills.)
16. Skewed: Biased or distorted (e.g., A curriculum skewed towards academic disciplines may neglect artistic development.)
17. Adept: Skilled or proficient (e.g., A balanced curriculum cultivates intellectually and artistically adept individuals.)
18. Divergent: Differing from one another (e.g., Arts and music stimulate divergent thinking.)
19. Interconnected: Connected or related (e.g., Arts and music foster cultural appreciation in an interconnected global society.)
20. Articulation: The expression or communication of ideas (e.g., Language arts enhance articulation skills.)

Common Mistakes

1. Lack of Balance: Failing to present both sides of the argument equally.
2. Vague Examples: Using general or unsupported examples instead of specific, well-developed ones.
3. Repetition: Repeating the same ideas or phrases without adding new information.
4. Poor Cohesion: Failing to use cohesive devices effectively, leading to disjointed ideas.
5. Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical mistakes that hinder understanding.

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