IELTS Writing Task 2: Arts In Schools - Band 9.0 Sample with Full Breakdown

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The Prompt

Some people think that schools should not spend money on art classes and music lessons. They believe that these subjects are not as important as other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Model Answers

Band 6.0

The arts are important in schools because they help students develop creativity and self-expression. Some people say that schools should not spend money on art and music classes because they are not as important as other subjects. I disagree with this opinion.

Firstly, arts subjects help students to be more creative. When students learn to draw, paint, or play music, they learn how to think outside the box. This skill is important in many jobs, not just in the arts. For example, engineers need to be creative to solve problems. If schools cut art classes, students will miss out on this important skill.

Secondly, arts subjects help students to express themselves. Many students find it hard to express their feelings in words. Through art and music, they can show their emotions in other ways. This is good for their mental health. If schools do not offer these subjects, students may feel stressed and unhappy.

In conclusion, I believe that schools should keep art and music classes. These subjects help students to be more creative and to express themselves. They are just as important as other subjects.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but with some irrelevant points
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Uses some cohesive devices but with some problems in organization
• Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses a mix of appropriate and less appropriate vocabulary
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Makes frequent errors in grammar and sentence structure

Band 7.0

The debate over whether schools should allocate resources to arts education has gained significant attention. While some argue that funds should be directed towards more 'practical' subjects, I firmly believe that art and music classes play an indispensable role in students' development.

Proponents of reducing arts education funding contend that subjects like mathematics and science are more valuable for students' future careers. However, this perspective overlooks the multifaceted benefits that arts education provides. Firstly, engaging in artistic pursuits fosters creativity, a skill that is increasingly valued in today's innovative job market. For instance, industries such as technology and business require employees who can think creatively to solve complex problems. By eliminating art and music classes, schools would be depriving students of the opportunity to develop this crucial skill.

Moreover, arts education serves as a vital outlet for self-expression. Many students struggle to articulate their thoughts and emotions verbally. Through art and music, they can communicate their feelings effectively. This form of expression is not only therapeutic but also contributes to their overall well-being. Research has shown that students who participate in arts programs exhibit lower levels of stress and higher levels of self-esteem. Therefore, maintaining arts education is essential for promoting students' mental health.

In conclusion, I strongly advocate for the continuation of art and music classes in schools. These subjects not only cultivate creativity but also provide a means for self-expression. By recognizing the importance of arts education, schools can ensure that students receive a well-rounded education that prepares them for both personal and professional success.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported arguments
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively but with some less sophisticated markers
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a mix of appropriate and less appropriate vocabulary
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Makes some errors in grammar and sentence structure but generally communicates clearly

Band 8.0

The notion that schools should curtail funding for arts education in favor of more 'academic' subjects is a contentious issue. I contend that art and music classes are not only beneficial but also essential for students' holistic development.

Those who advocate for the reduction of arts education funding argue that resources should be directed towards subjects that are more likely to secure students' future employment. However, this argument is myopic and fails to recognize the profound impact that arts education has on students' cognitive and emotional development. Firstly, engaging in artistic pursuits enhances creativity, a skill that is highly sought after in various industries. For example, in fields such as advertising, design, and even technology, creativity is a key driver of innovation. By providing students with opportunities to explore their artistic talents, schools are equipping them with a valuable skill set that will serve them well in their future careers.

Furthermore, arts education plays a pivotal role in fostering self-expression. Many students find it challenging to articulate their thoughts and emotions verbally. Through art and music, they can communicate their feelings in a non-verbal manner. This form of expression is not only therapeutic but also contributes to their overall well-being. Studies have shown that students who participate in arts programs exhibit higher levels of self-esteem, resilience, and emotional intelligence. Therefore, maintaining arts education is crucial for promoting students' mental health and emotional well-being.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that schools should continue to offer art and music classes. These subjects not only cultivate creativity but also provide a means for self-expression. By recognizing the importance of arts education, schools can ensure that students receive a well-rounded education that prepares them for both personal and professional success.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported arguments, with some sophistication
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with a clear progression of ideas
• Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a mix of appropriate and less appropriate vocabulary, with some sophisticated vocabulary
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Makes some errors in grammar and sentence structure but generally communicates clearly with a range of sentence structures

Band 9.0

The proposition that schools should divert resources from arts education to more 'practical' subjects is a shortsighted one. I firmly believe that art and music classes are indispensable for nurturing students' cognitive, emotional, and creative potential.

Proponents of reducing arts education funding often cite the need to prioritize subjects that are more directly linked to economic success. However, this perspective is not only reductive but also overlooks the multifaceted benefits that arts education confers. Firstly, engaging in artistic pursuits stimulates creativity, a skill that is increasingly valued in a rapidly evolving job market. In an era where innovation is key to economic growth, fostering creativity in students is not a luxury but a necessity. For instance, industries such as technology, business, and even healthcare require employees who can think creatively to solve complex problems. By providing students with a robust arts education, schools are not only cultivating their creative abilities but also preparing them for the challenges of the 21st-century workforce.

Moreover, arts education serves as a vital outlet for self-expression, a facet of personal development that is often underestimated. Many students struggle to articulate their thoughts and emotions verbally, particularly in an educational environment that often prioritizes quantitative measures of success. Through art and music, students can communicate their feelings in a non-verbal manner, a process that is not only therapeutic but also contributes to their overall well-being. Research has consistently shown that students who participate in arts programs exhibit higher levels of self-esteem, resilience, and emotional intelligence. Therefore, maintaining arts education is not only beneficial but also essential for promoting students' mental health and emotional well-being.

In conclusion, I strongly advocate for the continuation of art and music classes in schools. These subjects not only cultivate creativity and self-expression but also play a pivotal role in students' holistic development. By recognizing the importance of arts education, schools can ensure that students receive a well-rounded education that prepares them for both personal and professional success in an increasingly complex and interconnected world.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported arguments, with sophistication and precision
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with a clear progression of ideas and sophisticated organization
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of appropriate and sophisticated vocabulary
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of sentence structures with minimal errors in grammar and sentence structure

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Indispensable (adjective) - absolutely necessary

• Example: Arts education is indispensable for students' holistic development.

1. Multifaceted (adjective) - having many different aspects or features

• Example: Arts education has multifaceted benefits for students.

1. Cultivate (verb) - to try to improve something or make it grow

• Example: Schools should cultivate students' creative abilities.

1. Therapeutic (adjective) - providing healing or comfort

• Example: Art and music can be therapeutic for students.

1. Resilience (noun) - the ability to recover quickly from difficulties

• Example: Students who participate in arts programs exhibit higher levels of resilience.

1. Holistic (adjective) - characterized by the belief that the parts of something are interconnected and can only be understood in relation to the whole

• Example: Arts education plays a pivotal role in students' holistic development.

1. Innovation (noun) - the introduction of new ideas, methods, or devices

• Example: Creativity is a key driver of innovation in various industries.

1. Articulate (verb) - to express oneself clearly and effectively

• Example: Many students find it challenging to articulate their thoughts and emotions verbally.

1. Non-verbal (adjective) - not using words

• Example: Through art and music, students can communicate their feelings in a non-verbal manner.

1. Reductive (adjective) - tending to reduce the importance of something

• Example: The perspective that prioritizes only 'academic' subjects is reductive.

1. Prioritize (verb) - to give something more importance than other things

• Example: Schools should prioritize students' holistic development.

1. Quantitative (adjective) - relating to the measurement of something

• Example: An educational environment that often prioritizes quantitative measures of success.

1. Interconnected (adjective) - connected or related in a way that one thing affects another

• Example: In an increasingly interconnected world, creativity is highly valued.

1. Stimulate (verb) - to encourage something to happen or develop

• Example: Engaging in artistic pursuits stimulates creativity.

1. Pivotal (adjective) - of crucial importance in relation to the development or success of something else

• Example: Arts education plays a pivotal role in students' development.

1. Myopic (adjective) - lacking imagination, foresight, or intellectual insight

• Example: The argument to reduce arts education funding is myopic.

1. Cognitive (adjective) - relating to the mental processes of comprehension, judgment, and memory

• Example: Arts education has a profound impact on students' cognitive development.

1. Emotional Intelligence (noun) - the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as respond appropriately to the emotions of others

• Example: Students who participate in arts programs exhibit higher levels of emotional intelligence.

1. Economic Growth (noun) - an increase in the production of goods and services in an economy

• Example: In an era where innovation is key to economic growth, fostering creativity in students is a necessity.

1. Non-luxury (adjective) - not a luxury; necessary or essential

• Example: Fostering creativity in students is not a luxury but a necessity.

Common Mistakes Students Make

1. Overgeneralizing - Making broad statements without providing specific examples or evidence to support them.

1. Lack of Coherence - Failing to organize ideas logically, leading to a disjointed and confusing response.

1. Inappropriate Vocabulary - Using words incorrectly or inappropriately, which can detract from the overall quality of the response.

1. Grammatical Errors - Making frequent errors in grammar and sentence structure, which can make the response difficult to understand.

1. Irrelevant Points - Including points that do not directly address the question, which can weaken the overall argument.

1. Lack of Sophistication - Failing to use a wide range of vocabulary and sentence structures, which can result in a response that lacks depth and complexity.

1. Poor Task Response - Not fully addressing the task, which can result in a lower score for Task Response.

1. Inadequate Cohesion - Not using cohesive devices effectively, which can make the response difficult to follow.

1. Limited Lexical Resource - Using a limited range of vocabulary, which can make the response seem less sophisticated.

1. Inaccurate Grammar - Making errors in grammar that can make the response difficult to understand.

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