IELTS Writing Task 2: Arts In Schools - Band 7.5 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Some people believe that arts should be compulsory in schools, while others argue that students should focus on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Band 7.5 Sample Answer
Some argue that arts should be mandatory in schools, while others contend that academic subjects are more important. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my view.
Proponents of arts education emphasize its intrinsic value in cultivating creativity and self-expression. Artistic activities like painting, music, and drama allow students to explore their emotions and develop unique perspectives. Furthermore, engagement in arts can enhance critical thinking and problem-solving skills, which are transferable to other academic areas. For instance, designing a sculpture requires planning and spatial awareness, skills also useful in mathematics and engineering.
However, opponents argue that academic subjects should take precedence due to their direct relevance to career prospects. Subjects like mathematics, science, and language arts are often seen as more practical, with clear applications in the workforce. In many education systems, standardized tests focus heavily on these subjects, putting pressure on schools to prioritize them. Additionally, some argue that arts programs divert limited resources away from more 'essential' academic pursuits.
In my opinion, a balanced curriculum that includes both arts and academic subjects is ideal. Arts education fosters creativity and emotional intelligence, qualities increasingly valued in today's diverse job market. Moreover, numerous studies have shown that students engaged in arts programs tend to perform better academically overall. For example, a study by the University of California found that students involved in arts programs had higher GPAs and standardized test scores than their non-arts peers. Therefore, rather than viewing arts as a distraction, schools should integrate them into the core curriculum to create well-rounded students prepared for the challenges of the 21st century.
Scoring Breakdown
Task Response (TR): 7.0
- Presents a clear position throughout the response
- Examines both views but could develop the opposing argument more fully
- Presents, extends, and supports ideas, but some points could be developed further
Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0
- Uses cohesive devices effectively, though some sentences could be more varied
- Paragraphing is logical but could be improved with clearer topic sentences
- Some transitions between ideas could be smoother
Lexical Resource (LR): 7.5
- Uses a mix of appropriate and sophisticated vocabulary
- Some minor errors in word choice and collocation
- Demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey precise meanings
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.5
- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
- Some grammatical errors but they do not impede understanding
- Demonstrates a good control of grammar but could improve accuracy
Vocabulary Highlights
| Word/Phrase | Definition | Example Collocation | |-------------|-------------|-------------------| | Intrinsic value | Built-in worth or importance | The intrinsic value of arts education is often overlooked. | | Cultivate creativity | Develop or nurture creativity | Schools should cultivate creativity through arts programs. | | Self-expression | The expression of one's feelings or thoughts | Art allows for self-expression in ways academic subjects cannot. | | Critical thinking | The analysis and evaluation of information | Arts education enhances critical thinking skills. | | Problem-solving skills | The ability to find solutions to challenges | Engaging in arts can improve problem-solving skills. | | Spatial awareness | Understanding of one's surroundings | Sculpting requires spatial awareness and planning. | | Emotional intelligence | The ability to understand and manage emotions | Arts education fosters emotional intelligence. | | Well-rounded students | Students with a balanced set of skills and knowledge | A balanced curriculum creates well-rounded students. | | Diverse job market | A variety of employment opportunities | Creativity is increasingly valued in today's diverse job market. | | Core curriculum | Essential subjects taught in schools | Arts should be integrated into the core curriculum. | | Standardized tests | Exams with uniform questions and scoring | Standardized tests often focus on academic subjects. | | Transferable skills | Skills applicable in various contexts | Arts programs help develop transferable skills. | | Unique perspectives | Individual viewpoints | Artistic activities allow students to explore unique perspectives. | | Limited resources | Scarce or restricted assets | Arts programs should not divert limited resources. | | Practical applications | Real-world uses | Academic subjects have practical applications in the workforce. | | Career prospects | Future job opportunities | Academic subjects are seen as more relevant to career prospects. |
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Ignoring the opposing view: Many students focus solely on their opinion and neglect to discuss the counterargument adequately.
- Lack of specific examples: Vague statements without concrete examples weaken the argument.
- Poor paragraph structure: Some students fail to organize their ideas into clear, logical paragraphs.
- Overuse of simple sentences: Relying too much on basic sentence structures can lower the grammatical range score.
- Incorrect word choice: Using inappropriate or vague vocabulary can negatively impact the lexical resource score.
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