IELTS Writing Task 2: Arts In Schools - Band 6.5 Sample with Full Breakdown
Related guides:
Prompt
Some people think that schools should require students to study arts subjects such as music and drama. Others believe that students should focus on academic subjects such as science and mathematics. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Band 6.5 Sample Answer
Band 6.5 (250 words)
In today's education system, there is a debate about whether schools should prioritize arts subjects or focus on academic subjects. I believe that both are important, but I lean towards the idea that arts should be compulsory in schools.
On one hand, academic subjects like science and mathematics are crucial for students' future careers. Many jobs require strong analytical skills and technical knowledge. For example, engineers and doctors need a solid foundation in these subjects. Additionally, academic subjects can help students develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills that are valuable in any profession. However, focusing solely on these subjects can lead to a narrow education, as they do not address students' creativity and emotional intelligence.
On the other hand, arts subjects such as music and drama can enhance students' creativity and self-expression. They can also improve students' communication skills and teamwork. For instance, participating in a school play can help shy students gain confidence and learn to express themselves better. Moreover, arts subjects can make learning more enjoyable and engaging, which can motivate students to attend school and participate in class activities. However, some people argue that arts subjects are not as important as academic subjects and that schools should focus on preparing students for the workforce.
In conclusion, while academic subjects are important for students' future careers, arts subjects play a vital role in students' overall development. Therefore, I believe that schools should require students to study both types of subjects.
Scoring Breakdown
Task Response (TR): Band 6
- Presents a clear position throughout the response.
- Provides relevant, extended, and supported ideas but with some development.
- Presents a clear conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Band 6
- Uses cohesive devices effectively but with some errors.
- Arranges information and ideas logically but with some repetition.
- Uses paragraphing appropriately.
Lexical Resource (LR): Band 6
- Uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary.
- Attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some errors.
- Uses some collocations and idiomatic language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Band 6
- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
- Makes some errors in grammar and punctuation.
- Uses a mix of tenses appropriately.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Debate (noun): a formal discussion or argument about a particular topic.
- Example: There is a ongoing debate about the importance of arts in schools.
- Prioritize (verb): to give something more importance than other things.
- Example: Schools should prioritize both arts and academic subjects.
- Crucial (adjective): extremely important or necessary.
- Example: Academic subjects are crucial for students' future careers.
- Analytical (adjective): involving careful examination of something in order to understand it better.
- Example: Engineers need strong analytical skills.
- Narrow (adjective): limited in range or scope.
- Example: Focusing solely on academic subjects can lead to a narrow education.
- Enhance (verb): to increase or improve something.
- Example: Arts subjects can enhance students' creativity.
- Self-expression (noun): the act of expressing one's feelings, thoughts, or ideas.
- Example: Arts subjects can help students develop self-expression.
- Motivate (verb): to make someone want to do something.
- Example: Arts subjects can motivate students to attend school.
- Vital (adjective): extremely important or necessary.
- Example: Arts subjects play a vital role in students' overall development.
- Overall (adverb): considering everything.
- Example: Arts subjects are important for students' overall development.
- Compulsory (adjective): required by law or rules.
- Example: Schools should make arts subjects compulsory.
- Foundation (noun): the basis or groundwork of something.
- Example: Engineers need a solid foundation in academic subjects.
- Confidence (noun): a feeling of self-assurance.
- Example: Participating in a school play can help students gain confidence.
- Engaging (adjective): attracting or holding interest or attention.
- Example: Arts subjects can make learning more engaging.
- Workforce (noun): the group of people who work in a particular industry or country.
- Example: Schools should prepare students for the workforce.
Common Mistakes
- Lack of clear position: Some students fail to present a clear position in their response, making it difficult for the examiner to understand their viewpoint.
- Inadequate development of ideas: Students often provide ideas but fail to develop them adequately, leading to a shallow response.
- Poor use of cohesive devices: Students may use cohesive devices incorrectly, making their response difficult to follow.
- Limited vocabulary: Students often use a limited range of vocabulary, making their response repetitive and less engaging.
- Grammatical errors: Students make frequent grammatical errors, which can affect the clarity and coherence of their response.
Get Your Own Response Scored by AI on English AIdol
Practice makes perfect. Get your own IELTS Writing Task 2 response scored by AI on English AIdol and receive detailed feedback to improve your score.
