IELTS Writing Task 2: Air Pollution - Band 7.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Some people think that air pollution is the most important environmental challenge we are facing today, while others believe that there are more urgent problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Band 7.0 Sample Answer
The world today is facing numerous environmental issues, and air pollution is undoubtedly one of the most pressing. However, some argue that other problems, such as water scarcity and deforestation, are more urgent. This essay will discuss both views before presenting my opinion.
On one hand, air pollution is a significant threat to human health and the environment. According to the World Health Organization, air pollution causes millions of premature deaths each year. Moreover, it contributes to climate change, which has far-reaching consequences for all life on Earth. For instance, the burning of fossil fuels releases greenhouse gases, which trap heat in the atmosphere and lead to global warming. Therefore, addressing air pollution is crucial for the well-being of current and future generations.
On the other hand, some people believe that other environmental problems are more urgent. For example, water scarcity affects billions of people worldwide, leading to food shortages and conflicts over resources. Additionally, deforestation is causing the loss of biodiversity and disrupting the water cycle. These issues are interconnected, and solving one problem can help address the others. For instance, reducing deforestation can improve air quality and mitigate climate change.
In my opinion, while other environmental problems are indeed urgent, air pollution is the most critical challenge we face today. This is because it affects everyone, regardless of where they live, and has immediate health consequences. Furthermore, reducing air pollution can have a positive impact on other environmental issues, such as climate change and water scarcity. Therefore, governments and individuals should prioritize efforts to reduce air pollution and protect the environment for future generations.
Scoring Breakdown
Task Response (TR): Band 7.0
- Presents a clear position throughout the response
- Presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to overgeneralize and/or supporting ideas may lack sufficient development
- Uses some less common lexis with some awareness of style and collocation
- May produce occasional errors in word choice, word form, or idiomatic use
Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Band 7.0
- Uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
- Uses paragraphs, but there may be some uneven or awkward paragraphing
- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but there may be some overuse of simple sentences
Lexical Resource (LR): Band 7.0
- Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
- Uses some less common lexis with some awareness of style and collocation
- May produce occasional errors in word choice, word form, or idiomatic use
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Band 7.0
- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
- May make occasional errors in sentence formation, word form, or word order
- May produce frequent error patterns, but these errors do not impede communication
Vocabulary Highlights
- Pressing (adj): urgent or demanding attention
- Example: The world is facing a pressing need for renewable energy sources.
- Undoubtedly (adv): without doubt; certainly
- Example: Air pollution is undoubtedly a significant threat to human health.
- Scarcity (n): an insufficient amount of something
- Example: Water scarcity is a growing problem in many parts of the world.
- Deforestation (n): the action of clearing or burning a forest
- Example: Deforestation is causing the loss of biodiversity and disrupting the water cycle.
- Premature (adj): happening or done before the usual or proper time
- Example: Air pollution causes millions of premature deaths each year.
- Greenhouse gases (n): gases that trap heat in the atmosphere, contributing to global warming
- Example: The burning of fossil fuels releases greenhouse gases.
- Mitigate (v): to make less severe, serious, or painful
- Example: Reducing deforestation can mitigate climate change.
- Biodiversity (n): the variety of plant and animal life in the world or in a particular habitat
- Example: Deforestation is causing the loss of biodiversity.
- Interconnected (adj): connected or related in some way
- Example: Environmental issues are interconnected, and solving one problem can help address the others.
- Well-being (n): the state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy
- Example: Addressing air pollution is crucial for the well-being of current and future generations.
- Immediate (adj): happening or done without delay
- Example: Air pollution has immediate health consequences.
- Flexibility (n): the quality of being able to be easily modified
- Example: A sufficient range of vocabulary allows for flexibility and precision.
- Precision (n): the quality of being exact and accurate
- Example: A sufficient range of vocabulary allows for flexibility and precision.
- Awareness (n): knowledge or perception of a situation or fact
- Example: There is an awareness of the need to reduce air pollution.
- Collocation (n): the habitual juxtaposition of a particular word with another word or words with which it is habitually juxtaposed
- Example: There is an awareness of style and collocation.
- Overuse (n): the use of something more than is necessary or desirable
- Example: There may be an overuse of simple sentences.
- Mechanical (adj): done in a way that is not natural or spontaneous
- Example: Cohesion within and/or between sentences may be mechanical.
- Uneven (adj): not level or smooth; uneven
- Example: There may be some uneven or awkward paragraphing.
- Awkward (adj): causing or feeling unease or embarrassment
- Example: There may be some uneven or awkward paragraphing.
- Error patterns (n): a repeated or habitual mistake
- Example: There may be frequent error patterns, but these errors do not impede communication.
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Overgeneralizing: Making broad statements without sufficient evidence or examples.
- Lack of development: Failing to fully develop ideas with supporting details and examples.
- Inappropriate use of cohesive devices: Using cohesive devices incorrectly or in a way that makes the text difficult to follow.
- Overuse of simple sentences: Relying too much on simple sentence structures, which can make the writing seem immature or unsophisticated.
- Errors in word choice, word form, or idiomatic use: Using words incorrectly or in the wrong form, which can make the writing difficult to understand.
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