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IELTS Writing Task 2:
Youth Crime — Band 6/7/8/9 Samples

Mẫu đề IELTS Writing Task 2 về tội phạm thanh niên với 4 band điểm khác nhau. Học cách viết đạt điểm cao với các mẫu đề chi tiết và đánh giá.

IELTS Writing Task 2: Youth Crime — Band 6/7/8/9 Samples | English AIdol Blog

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Mẫu đề IELTS Writing Task 2 về tội phạm thanh niên với 4 band điểm khác nhau. Học cách viết đạt điểm cao với các mẫu đề chi tiết và đánh giá.

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IELTS Writing Task 2: Youth Crime — Band 6/7/8/9 Samples

Đề thi

Đề: Some people argue that the increase in youth crime is due to the lack of parental guidance and discipline. Others believe that this trend is a result of society's failure to provide adequate opportunities for young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Mẫu đề Band 6.0

Điểm mạnh: Đáp ứng đầy đủ yêu cầu đề bài, có cấu trúc rõ ràng. Điểm yếu: Từ vựng cần phong phú hơn, logic cần hoàn thiện.

Bài viết:

In recent years, youth crime has become a serious problem in many countries. Some people think that this is because parents do not provide enough guidance and discipline. Others argue that society is to blame for not giving young people enough opportunities.

On one hand, many parents today are too busy with work to spend time with their children. This means that children do not receive the guidance and discipline they need. For example, a study showed that children who spend a lot of time alone are more likely to get involved in crime. Additionally, some parents are too permissive and do not set clear rules for their children.

On the other hand, society also plays a role in youth crime. Many young people do not have access to good education or jobs. This can lead to frustration and a lack of hope for the future. For instance, in some areas, there are few jobs available, so young people may turn to crime as a way to make money. Moreover, some communities do not have enough recreational facilities, which can lead to boredom and delinquency.

In my opinion, both parents and society share the responsibility for youth crime. Parents need to spend more time with their children and set clear rules. At the same time, society should provide more opportunities for young people, such as better education and more jobs.

Đánh giá:

  • Task Response: 5.0 - Đáp ứng đầy đủ đề bài nhưng luận điểm cần mở rộng.
  • Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0 - Cấu trúc rõ ràng nhưng liên kết giữa các phần cần được cải thiện.
  • Lexical Resource: 6.0 - Từ vựng đủ dùng nhưng cần phong phú hơn.
  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6.0 - Câu trúc cơ bản, một số lỗi ngữ pháp.

Mẫu đề Band 7.0

Điểm mạnh: Luận điểm logic, từ vựng phong phú, cấu trúc tốt. Điểm yếu: Vẫn một số lỗi ngữ pháp và logic cần hoàn thiện.

Bài viết:

The issue of youth crime has garnered significant attention in recent years. There are two main views regarding the causes of this phenomenon: the lack of parental guidance and the failure of society to provide adequate opportunities.

Proponents of the first view argue that parents today are often too occupied with work to devote sufficient time to their children. This lack of attention can result in children feeling neglected and seeking validation through negative behaviors. For example, research has shown that adolescents who lack parental supervision are more prone to engaging in delinquent activities. Furthermore, some parents may be overly lenient, failing to instill discipline and moral values in their children.

Conversely, those who attribute youth crime to societal factors point to the lack of opportunities available to young people. In many communities, access to quality education and employment is limited, leading to feelings of despair and hopelessness. Young people may turn to crime as a means of escaping their circumstances or achieving financial stability. Additionally, the absence of recreational facilities and community programs can contribute to idle time, which may be filled with criminal activities.

In my view, both parental and societal factors contribute to youth crime. Parents must prioritize spending quality time with their children and setting clear boundaries. Simultaneously, society should invest in education, job creation, and community programs to provide young people with positive alternatives.

Đánh giá:

  • Task Response: 7.0 - Đáp ứng đầy đủ đề bài, luận điểm logic và mở rộng.
  • Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0 - Cấu trúc tốt, liên kết giữa các phần logic.
  • Lexical Resource: 7.0 - Từ vựng phong phú và đa dạng.
  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7.0 - Câu trúc phức tạp, một số lỗi ngữ pháp nhỏ.

Mẫu đề Band 8.0

Điểm mạnh: Luận điểm logic, từ vựng phong phú, cấu trúc tốt, lỗi ngữ pháp ít. Điểm yếu: Có thể cải thiện thêm về độ sâu của luận điểm.

Bài viết:

The escalating rate of youth crime has become a pressing concern in contemporary society. This phenomenon can be attributed to two primary factors: the erosion of parental guidance and the societal failure to offer adequate opportunities for young people.

Advocates of the former perspective contend that modern parents are often engrossed in their professional lives, leaving them with limited time to nurture their children. This neglect can lead to a sense of abandonment in young individuals, driving them to seek validation through illicit activities. Empirical evidence supports this claim, as studies have demonstrated a correlations between lack of parental supervision and increased juvenile delinquency. Moreover, the permissive parenting style adopted by some parents can exacerbate the problem by failing to inculcate discipline and ethical values in their offspring.

Conversely, proponents of the latter view argue that societal structures play a pivotal role in fostering youth crime. In many communities, access to quality education and gainful employment is severely restricted, engendering feelings of disillusionment and despair among the youth. Consequently, young individuals may resort to criminal activities as a means of coping with their bleak circumstances or achieving financial stability. Furthermore, the dearth of recreational facilities and community programs can lead to idle time, which may be squandered on delinquent behaviors.

In my opinion, both parental and societal factors are instrumental in perpetuating youth crime. Parents must strive to balance their professional and familial responsibilities, ensuring that they provide adequate guidance and support to their children. Concurrently, societal institutions should prioritize investing in education, job creation, and community programs to offer young people viable alternatives to crime.

Đánh giá:

  • Task Response: 8.0 - Đáp ứng đầy đủ đề bài, luận điểm logic và mở rộng, có nội dung sâu sắc.
  • Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0 - Cấu trúc tốt, liên kết giữa các phần logic và tốt.
  • Lexical Resource: 8.0 - Từ vựng phong phú và đa dạng, sử dụng tự nhiên.
  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8.0 - Câu trúc phức tạp, lỗi ngữ pháp ít.

Mẫu đề Band 9.0

Điểm mạnh: Luận điểm logic, từ vựng phong phú, cấu trúc hoàn hảo, lỗi ngữ pháp không. Điểm yếu: Không có điểm yếu đáng kể.

Bài viết:

The pervasive issue of youth crime has emerged as a critical concern in the 21st century. This complex problem is often attributed to two interrelated factors: the deterioration of parental guidance and the societal inability to provide sufficient opportunities for young people.

Those who attribute youth crime to parental negligence posit that the contemporary lifestyle often compels parents to prioritize their careers over their familial responsibilities. This prioritization can result in a dearth of quality time spent with children, leading to feelings of isolation and a quest for identity through negative behaviors. Scholarly research has consistently demonstrated that adolescents who lack parental involvement are significantly more likely to engage in delinquent activities. Additionally, the prevalence of indulgent parenting styles can further compound the issue by failing to instill a robust moral compass in young individuals.

Conversely, proponents of the societal perspective argue that the structural inequities inherent in many communities contribute significantly to youth crime. The limited access to quality education and stable employment opportunities can engender a sense of hopelessness among young people, driving them to seek solace in illicit activities. Furthermore, the absence of adequate recreational facilities and community programs can lead to an excess of idle time, which may be filled with criminal endeavors.

In my view, a holistic approach is necessary to address the issue of youth crime effectively. Parents must be encouraged to strike a balance between their professional and personal lives, ensuring that they provide their children with the guidance and support they need. Simultaneously, societal institutions must prioritize investing in education, job creation, and community programs to offer young people constructive alternatives to crime. Only through a concerted effort can we hope to mitigate the pervasive issue of youth crime and foster a safer, more equitable society.

Đánh giá:

  • Task Response: 9.0 - Đáp ứng đầy đủ đề bài, luận điểm logic và mở rộng, có nội dung sâu sắc và thuyết phục.
  • Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0 - Cấu trúc hoàn hảo, liên kết giữa các phần logic và tốt.
  • Lexical Resource: 9.0 - Từ vựng phong phú và đa dạng, sử dụng tự nhiên và chính xác.
  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 9.0 - Câu trúc phức tạp, lỗi ngữ pháp không.

Từ vựng cần nhớ

  1. Escalating rate (n.phr) - Tốc độ tăng nhanh
  • VD: The escalating rate of youth crime is a cause for concern.
  1. Pressing concern (n.phr) - Nỗi lo lắng cấp bách
  • VD: The issue of youth crime has become a pressing concern.
  1. Erosion of parental guidance (n.phr) - Sự suy giảm của sự hướng dẫn của cha mẹ
  • VD: The erosion of parental guidance is a major factor in youth crime.
  1. Engrossed in (v.phr) - Bị cuốn hút bởi
  • VD: Parents are often engrossed in their professional lives.
  1. Inculcate (v) - Nhần nhúc
  • VD: Parents should inculcate discipline and ethical values in their children.
  1. Empirical evidence (n.phr) - Bằng chứng thực nghiệm
  • VD: Empirical evidence supports the claim that lack of parental supervision leads to delinquency.
  1. Gainful employment (n.phr) - Công việc có thu nhập
  • VD: Access to gainful employment is limited in many communities.
  1. Dislocation (n) - Sự bỏ rơi, bỏ mặc
  • VD: Young people may resort to crime as a means of coping with their bleak circumstances or achieving financial stability.
  1. Dearth of (n.phr) - Sự thiếu hụt
  • VD: The dearth of recreational facilities can lead to idle time.
  1. Concerted effort (n.phr) - Nỗ lực tập thể
  • VD: A concerted effort is needed to address the issue of youth crime.

5 sai thường gặp khi viết về chủ đề tội phạm thanh niên

  1. Hạn chế luận điểm: Nhiều học viên chỉ trình bày một bên mà không trình bày đầy đủ cả hai bên đề bài.
  2. Sử dụng từ vựng lặp đi lặp lại: Học viên nên sử dụng từ vựng phong phú để tránh lặp lại.
  3. Lỗi ngữ pháp: Học viên cần chú ý đến cấu trúc câu và từ vựng để tránh lỗi ngữ pháp.
  4. Kết cấu bài viết không rõ ràng: Học viên cần có một kế hoạch rõ ràng trước khi bắt đầu viết để đảm bảo bài viết có kết cấu rõ ràng.
  5. Thiếu ví dụ và bằng chứng: Học viên nên sử dụng ví dụ và bằng chứng để làm bài viết của mình trở nên thuyết phục hơn.

Kết luận

Đây là 4 mẫu đề IELTS Writing Task 2 về tội phạm thanh niên với band điểm khác nhau. Học viên nên học cách kết cấu bài viết, sử dụng từ vựng phong phú và trình bày luận điểm logic để đạt điểm cao trong phần thi IELTS Writing Task 2.

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