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IELTS Writing Task 2:
Obesity — Band 6/7/8/9 Samples

IELTS Writing Task 2: Obesity — Band 6/7/8/9 Samples. Learn from expert responses and improve your IELTS writing score with English AIdol.

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IELTS Writing Task 2: Obesity — Band 6/7/8/9 Samples. Learn from expert responses and improve your IELTS writing score with English AIdol.

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IELTS Writing Task 2: Obesity — Band 6/7/8/9 Samples

Prompt

Some people believe that the increasing rate of obesity is due to the lack of physical exercise and unhealthy food. Others think that it is caused by genetic factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Band 6.0 Answer

Task Response: Presents a relevant position but the argument is not fully developed. Coherence and Cohesion: The argument is logically organized but there are some issues with cohesion. Lexical Resource: Limited range of vocabulary, some errors in word choice. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Limited range of sentence structures, frequent grammatical errors.

In recent years, the rate of obesity has increased significantly. Some people believe that this is due to the lack of physical exercise and unhealthy food. Others think that it is caused by genetic factors. I agree with the former view.

Firstly, the lack of physical exercise is a major cause of obesity. Many people lead sedentary lifestyles, spending most of their time sitting at desks or on couches. This lack of activity leads to weight gain. Additionally, unhealthy food is also a contributing factor. Fast food and processed foods are high in calories and low in nutrients, which can lead to weight gain.

On the other hand, some people believe that obesity is caused by genetic factors. While it is true that genetics can play a role in weight gain, it is not the only factor. Many people with a family history of obesity can maintain a healthy weight through diet and exercise.

In conclusion, I believe that the lack of physical exercise and unhealthy food are the main causes of obesity. While genetics may play a role, it is not the only factor. Therefore, it is important to promote physical activity and healthy eating habits to combat this issue.

Band 7.0 Answer

Task Response: Presents a relevant position with some development and support. Coherence and Cohesion: The argument is logically organized and easy to follow. Lexical Resource: Adequate range of vocabulary, some errors in word choice. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Adequate range of sentence structures, occasional grammatical errors.

The increasing rate of obesity is a serious concern in many countries. Some people attribute this to the lack of physical exercise and unhealthy food, while others believe that genetic factors are to blame. I believe that both views have some validity.

On one hand, the lack of physical exercise is a significant factor in the rise of obesity. With the advent of technology, people are becoming more sedentary. Many jobs require long hours of sitting at a desk, and leisure time is often spent in front of a screen. This lack of physical activity leads to weight gain. Additionally, unhealthy food is also a contributing factor. Fast food and processed foods are convenient and often cheaper than healthy options, leading to overconsumption.

On the other hand, genetic factors can also play a role in obesity. Some people are predisposed to weight gain due to their genetic makeup. This can make it more difficult for them to maintain a healthy weight, even with diet and exercise. However, this does not mean that genetics are the sole cause of obesity. Environmental factors, such as diet and lifestyle, also play a significant role.

In conclusion, both the lack of physical exercise and unhealthy food, as well as genetic factors, contribute to the increasing rate of obesity. It is important to address both of these factors in order to combat this serious health issue.

Band 8.0 Answer

Task Response: Presents a relevant position with clear development and support. Coherence and Cohesion: The argument is logically organized and easy to follow, with effective use of cohesive devices. Lexical Resource: Wide range of vocabulary, some errors in word choice. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Wide range of sentence structures, occasional grammatical errors.

The escalating rate of obesity is a pressing issue in many societies. While some people attribute this phenomenon to the lack of physical exercise and unhealthy food, others argue that genetic factors are the primary cause. I firmly believe that both views hold merit, but that environmental factors are more significant.

Firstly, the lack of physical exercise is a major contributor to the rise of obesity. In today's fast-paced world, many people lead sedentary lifestyles. The convenience of modern technology has led to a decrease in physical activity, both in the workplace and in leisure time. This lack of exercise, combined with an unhealthy diet, can lead to significant weight gain. Moreover, the proliferation of fast food and processed foods has made it easier than ever to consume high-calorie, low-nutrient foods. These foods are often cheaper and more convenient than healthier options, leading to overconsumption and weight gain.

However, it is also important to acknowledge the role of genetic factors in obesity. Some people are predisposed to weight gain due to their genetic makeup. This can make it more difficult for them to maintain a healthy weight, even with diet and exercise. Nevertheless, it is crucial to note that genetics are not the sole determinant of weight. Environmental factors, such as diet and lifestyle, also play a significant role.

In conclusion, while genetic factors may contribute to the increasing rate of obesity, I believe that the lack of physical exercise and unhealthy food are the primary causes. It is essential to address both of these factors in order to combat this serious health issue effectively.

Band 9.0 Answer

Task Response: Presents a relevant position with clear development and support, using relevant examples and evidence. Coherence and Cohesion: The argument is logically organized and easy to follow, with effective use of cohesive devices. Lexical Resource: Wide range of vocabulary, used appropriately and effectively. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Wide range of sentence structures, used appropriately and effectively.

The alarming rise in obesity rates is a global concern that demands immediate attention. While some people attribute this trend to the lack of physical exercise and unhealthy food, others argue that genetic predisposition is the primary cause. I contend that although genetic factors may play a role, the primary causes are the lack of physical exercise and unhealthy food.

Firstly, the lack of physical exercise is a significant contributor to the rise of obesity. In the modern world, many people lead sedentary lifestyles. The convenience of modern technology has led to a decrease in physical activity, both in the workplace and in leisure time. For instance, many jobs now require long hours of sitting at a desk, and leisure time is often spent in front of a screen. This lack of exercise, combined with an unhealthy diet, can lead to significant weight gain. Moreover, the proliferation of fast food and processed foods has made it easier than ever to consume high-calorie, low-nutrient foods. These foods are often cheaper and more convenient than healthier options, leading to overconsumption and weight gain. For example, a study by the World Health Organization found that the consumption of fast food has increased significantly in the past few decades, coinciding with the rise in obesity rates.

However, it is also important to acknowledge the role of genetic factors in obesity. Some people are predisposed to weight gain due to their genetic makeup. This can make it more difficult for them to maintain a healthy weight, even with diet and exercise. Nevertheless, it is crucial to note that genetics are not the sole determinant of weight. Environmental factors, such as diet and lifestyle, also play a significant role. For instance, a study by the National Institutes of Health found that while genetic factors may increase the risk of obesity, they do not guarantee it. Lifestyle choices, such as diet and exercise, can significantly impact weight.

In conclusion, while genetic factors may contribute to the increasing rate of obesity, I believe that the lack of physical exercise and unhealthy food are the primary causes. It is essential to address both of these factors in order to combat this serious health issue effectively. Governments and individuals must work together to promote physical activity and healthy eating habits, and to provide access to affordable, nutritious food. Only then can we hope to reverse the alarming trend of rising obesity rates.

Vocabulary Highlights

  1. Escalating (adj.): Increasing rapidly and in a worrying way.
  • Example: The escalating rate of obesity is a pressing issue in many societies.
  1. Predisposed (adj.): Having a natural tendency or inclination.
  • Example: Some people are predisposed to weight gain due to their genetic makeup.
  1. Proliferation (n.): Rapid increase in the number or amount of something.
  • Example: The proliferation of fast food and processed foods has made it easier than ever to consume high-calorie, low-nutrient foods.
  1. Coinciding (v.): Happening at the same time.
  • Example: A study by the World Health Organization found that the consumption of fast food has increased significantly in the past few decades, coinciding with the rise in obesity rates.
  1. Determinant (n.): A factor that decisively affects the outcome of something.
  • Example: It is crucial to note that genetics are not the sole determinant of weight.
  1. Sedentary (adj.): Involving little exercise or physical activity.
  • Example: In today's fast-paced world, many people lead sedentary lifestyles.
  1. Overconsumption (n.): The act of consuming something to excess.
  • Example: These foods are often cheaper and more convenient than healthier options, leading to overconsumption and weight gain.
  1. Pressing (adj.): Requiring immediate attention or action.
  • Example: The escalating rate of obesity is a pressing issue in many societies.
  1. Alarming (adj.): Causing worry or fear.
  • Example: The alarming rise in obesity rates is a global concern that demands immediate attention.
  1. Contend (v.): To maintain or assert a position in an argument.
  • Example: I contend that although genetic factors may play a role, the primary causes are the lack of physical exercise and unhealthy food.

Common Mistakes

  1. Overgeneralization: Making broad statements without sufficient evidence or support.
  2. Lack of Specificity: Failing to provide specific examples or details to support arguments.
  3. Poor Organization: Not structuring the essay in a logical and coherent manner.
  4. Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical mistakes that detract from the overall quality of the essay.
  5. Limited Vocabulary: Using a limited range of vocabulary, which can make the essay seem repetitive and uninteresting.

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