IELTS Writing Task 2: Obesity — Band 6/7/8/9 Samples

Prompt

Topic: Obesity has become a serious global issue. What are the main causes of obesity, and how can it be prevented?

Model Answers

Band 6.0

Sample Answer:

Obesity is a big problem in many countries. People eat too much junk food and do not exercise enough. This is the main cause of obesity. To prevent obesity, people should eat healthy food and exercise more. Governments should also make rules to stop companies from selling too much junk food.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a clear position but with limited development.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Ideas are logically organized but with some repetition.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses some appropriate vocabulary but with errors.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Uses simple sentence structures with frequent errors.

Band 7.0

Sample Answer:

The rising rate of obesity is a critical issue in modern society. The primary causes of obesity include poor diet, lack of physical activity, and genetic factors. To address this problem, individuals should adopt healthier lifestyles, and governments should implement policies to promote healthy eating and regular exercise. For instance, schools can provide nutritious meals and physical education classes to encourage students to stay active.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively but with some repetition.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a mix of appropriate vocabulary with some errors.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with some errors.

Band 8.0

Sample Answer:

Obesity has emerged as a significant global health concern, with its prevalence increasing at an alarming rate. The primary contributors to this epidemic include the consumption of high-calorie, low-nutrient foods, sedentary lifestyles, and genetic predispositions. To mitigate this issue, a multi-faceted approach is essential. Individuals should prioritize balanced diets and regular physical activity, while governments should enforce regulations on food advertising and promote public health campaigns. Additionally, healthcare systems should provide accessible and affordable obesity prevention and treatment programs.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with a clear progression of ideas.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary with some errors.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with some errors.

Band 9.0

Sample Answer:

The escalating prevalence of obesity has become a pressing global health crisis, necessitating immediate and comprehensive intervention. The root causes of this epidemic are multifaceted, encompassing the proliferation of processed foods, the decline in physical activity, and the influence of socio-economic factors. To effectively address this issue, a collaborative effort between individuals, communities, and governments is imperative. Individuals should adopt healthier lifestyles by consuming nutritious foods and engaging in regular exercise. Communities should foster environments that promote physical activity and access to healthy foods. Governments should implement policies that regulate food advertising, subsidize healthy foods, and invest in public health initiatives. Furthermore, healthcare systems should provide comprehensive obesity prevention and treatment programs, ensuring that individuals have access to the resources they need to maintain a healthy weight.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with a clear progression of ideas.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary with minimal errors.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with minimal errors.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Prevalence (noun): The fact of being widespread or common.

• Example: The prevalence of obesity has increased significantly.

1. Epidemic (noun): A widespread occurrence of an infectious disease in a community at a particular time.

• Example: Obesity has become an epidemic in many countries.

1. Mitigate (verb): To make less severe, serious, or painful.

• Example: Governments should take steps to mitigate the effects of obesity.

1. Multi-faceted (adjective): Having many different aspects or features.

• Example: A multi-faceted approach is needed to address obesity.

1. Enforce (verb): To make sure that something happens or is done.

• Example: Governments should enforce regulations on food advertising.

1. Collaborative (adjective): Produced or achieved by two or more parties working together.

• Example: A collaborative effort is needed to address obesity.

1. Socio-economic (adjective): Relating to the interaction of social and economic factors.

• Example: Socio-economic factors contribute to the prevalence of obesity.

1. Foster (verb): To encourage the development of something.

• Example: Communities should foster environments that promote physical activity.

1. Subsidize (verb): To provide financial assistance to someone or something.

• Example: Governments should subsidize healthy foods.

1. Comprehensive (adjective): Including or dealing with all or nearly all aspects of something.

• Example: Healthcare systems should provide comprehensive obesity prevention programs.

Common Mistakes

1. Lack of Specific Examples: Many students fail to provide specific examples to support their arguments.
2. Poor Organization: Some students do not organize their ideas logically, making it difficult for the examiner to follow their arguments.
3. Repetition: Students often repeat the same ideas or words, which can make their writing seem less sophisticated.
4. Grammatical Errors: Common grammatical errors include subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage.
5. Limited Vocabulary: Some students use a limited range of vocabulary, which can make their writing seem less impressive.

Conclusion

To score high on IELTS Writing Task 2, it is essential to present a clear and well-supported argument. Use a variety of vocabulary and grammatical structures, and organize your ideas logically. Practice writing on different topics to improve your skills and gain confidence.

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