IELTS Writing Task 2: Media — Band 9 Sample (Hindi Explanation)

Full Prompt

Topic: Media

Question: The media often exaggerates the importance of celebrities. What are the effects of this? Should the media focus more on ordinary people and events?

Model Answers

Band 6.0

Introduction

Media often focuses too much on celebrities and their lives. This can have both positive and negative effects. Some people think the media should pay more attention to ordinary people and events instead.

Body Paragraph 1

One positive effect of media focusing on celebrities is that it can inspire people. For example, young people might see a famous actor and want to pursue acting themselves. This can motivate them to work hard and achieve their goals. Additionally, celebrities often use their platform to raise awareness about important issues, such as climate change or social injustice.

Body Paragraph 2

However, there are also negative effects. When the media focuses too much on celebrities, it can create unrealistic expectations. For instance, people might think that they need to look a certain way or have a certain lifestyle to be successful. This can lead to low self-esteem and other mental health issues. Furthermore, the media often sensationalizes celebrity news, which can distract people from more important issues happening in the world.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while there are some benefits to the media focusing on celebrities, there are also significant drawbacks. It might be better for the media to focus more on ordinary people and events, as this could have a more positive impact on society.

Band 7.0

Introduction

The media's tendency to exaggerate the significance of celebrities has become a contentious issue. While some argue that this practice has beneficial effects, others contend that it would be more advantageous for the media to concentrate on ordinary people and events.

Body Paragraph 1

On the one hand, the media's focus on celebrities can have positive effects. For example, celebrities often use their influence to promote important causes, such as charity work or social justice. Additionally, their stories can inspire people to pursue their own dreams and goals. Moreover, the media's coverage of celebrities can provide entertainment and a temporary escape from everyday life.

Body Paragraph 2

On the other hand, the media's obsession with celebrities can have negative consequences. It can create unrealistic expectations and cause people to compare their lives to those of celebrities, leading to feelings of inadequacy. Furthermore, the media's sensationalization of celebrity news can distract from more important issues and events. If the media were to focus more on ordinary people and events, it could have a more positive impact on society.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while the media's focus on celebrities can have some benefits, the negative effects are more significant. It would be more advantageous for the media to concentrate on ordinary people and events, as this could have a more positive impact on society.

Band 8.0

Introduction

The media's penchant for exaggerating the importance of celebrities has sparked a heated debate. Proponents argue that this practice has numerous benefits, while critics contend that it would be more prudent for the media to shift its focus to ordinary people and events.

Body Paragraph 1

Advocates of the media's focus on celebrities posit that it can have several positive effects. For instance, celebrities often use their platform to raise awareness about important issues, such as mental health or environmental conservation. Additionally, their stories can serve as a source of inspiration for people striving to achieve their own goals. Furthermore, the media's coverage of celebrities can provide a form of escapism and entertainment for the general public.

Body Paragraph 2

However, the media's obsession with celebrities can also have detrimental effects. It can foster a culture of comparison and create unrealistic expectations, leading to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Moreover, the media's sensationalization of celebrity news can divert attention from more pressing issues and events. If the media were to focus more on ordinary people and events, it could foster a greater sense of community and solidarity.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while the media's focus on celebrities can have some advantages, the negative effects are more pronounced. It would be more beneficial for the media to concentrate on ordinary people and events, as this could have a more positive impact on society as a whole.

Band 9.0

Introduction

The media's proclivity for amplifying the significance of celebrities has engendered a fervent debate. While proponents extol the virtues of this practice, detractors assert that it would be more judicious for the media to redirect its attention to ordinary people and events.

Body Paragraph 1

Proponents of the media's focus on celebrities contend that it can engender numerous benefits. For example, celebrities often leverage their influence to champion worthy causes, such as philanthropy or social equality. Additionally, their narratives can serve as a beacon of inspiration for individuals aspiring to achieve their own objectives. Furthermore, the media's portrayal of celebrities can proffer a respite from the mundane and provide a source of amusement for the populace.

Body Paragraph 2

Conversely, the media's fixation on celebrities can engender deleterious effects. It can cultivate a culture of comparison and engender unrealistic expectations, precipitating feelings of inadequacy and diminished self-worth. Moreover, the media's sensationalization of celebrity news can obfuscate more pressing issues and events. If the media were to concentrate more on ordinary people and events, it could engender a greater sense of community and cohesion.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while the media's focus on celebrities can proffer some advantages, the deleterious effects are more salient. It would be more advantageous for the media to redirect its attention to ordinary people and events, as this could have a more beneficial impact on society in its entirety.

Scoring Breakdown

Band 6.0

Task Response: The answer provides a clear position and extends it with relevant, supported, and extended ideas. However, the arguments could be further developed with more specific examples and clearer links to the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: The answer is organized logically, but the use of cohesive devices could be improved to make the argument flow more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: The answer uses a mix of appropriate and varied vocabulary, but there are some errors in word choice and collocation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The answer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but there are some errors in grammar and punctuation.

Band 7.0

Task Response: The answer provides a clear position and extends it with relevant, supported, and extended ideas. The arguments are well-developed with specific examples and clear links to the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: The answer is well-organized and uses a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and create a smooth flow.

Lexical Resource: The answer uses a range of appropriate and varied vocabulary, with few errors in word choice and collocation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The answer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with some errors in grammar and punctuation.

Band 8.0

Task Response: The answer provides a clear position and extends it with relevant, supported, and extended ideas. The arguments are well-developed with specific examples and clear links to the question. The answer also considers the implications of the arguments presented.

Coherence and Cohesion: The answer is well-organized and uses a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and create a smooth flow. The use of paragraphing is effective, and the argument is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource: The answer uses a range of appropriate and varied vocabulary, with few errors in word choice and collocation. The use of less common vocabulary is generally appropriate and effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The answer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with some errors in grammar and punctuation. The use of complex sentence forms is generally accurate and effective.

Band 9.0

Task Response: The answer provides a clear position and extends it with relevant, supported, and extended ideas. The arguments are well-developed with specific examples and clear links to the question. The answer also considers the implications of the arguments presented and provides a balanced discussion of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion: The answer is well-organized and uses a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and create a smooth flow. The use of paragraphing is effective, and the argument is easy to follow. The answer also uses a variety of sentence forms to create a varied and engaging style.

Lexical Resource: The answer uses a range of appropriate and varied vocabulary, with few errors in word choice and collocation. The use of less common vocabulary is generally appropriate and effective. The answer also uses a variety of phrasal verbs and idiomatic expressions to create a natural and idiomatic style.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The answer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with few errors in grammar and punctuation. The use of complex sentence forms is generally accurate and effective. The answer also uses a variety of sentence forms to create a varied and engaging style.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Exaggerate (verb) - to make something seem larger, more important, or more serious than it really is

• Example: The media often exaggerates the importance of celebrities.

1. Significance (noun) - the quality of being worthy of attention; importance

• Example: The media often exaggerates the significance of celebrities.

1. Contentious (adjective) - causing or likely to cause an argument; controversial

• Example: The media's tendency to exaggerate the significance of celebrities has become a contentious issue.

1. Penchant (noun) - a strong or habitual liking for something or tendency to do something

• Example: The media's penchant for exaggerating the importance of celebrities has sparked a heated debate.

1. Proponent (noun) - a person who supports or advocates a particular idea, cause, or policy

• Example: Proponents of the media's focus on celebrities contend that it can engender numerous benefits.

1. Champion (verb) - to support, defend, or fight for a person, belief, or cause

• Example: Celebrities often leverage their influence to champion worthy causes.

1. Narratives (noun) - a spoken or written account of connected events; a story

• Example: Their narratives can serve as a beacon of inspiration for individuals aspiring to achieve their own objectives.

1. Respite (noun) - a short period of rest or relief from something difficult or unpleasant

• Example: The media's portrayal of celebrities can proffer a respite from the mundane and provide a source of amusement for the populace.

1. Deleterious (adjective) - causing harm or damage; harmful

• Example: The media's fixation on celebrities can engender deleterious effects.

1. Obfuscate (verb) - to render obscure, unclear, or unintelligible

• Example: The media's sensationalization of celebrity news can obfuscate more pressing issues and events.

1. Cohesion (noun) - the quality of being united or connected; the degree to which elements in an argument or piece of writing are logically connected

• Example: The answer is well-organized and uses a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and create a smooth flow.

1. Collocation (noun) - the habitual placement of words side by side in a language; the natural combinations of words

• Example: The answer uses a range of appropriate and varied vocabulary, with few errors in word choice and collocation.

1. Implications (noun) - the consequences or effects of an action or decision

• Example: The answer also considers the implications of the arguments presented.

1. Idiomatic (adjective) - using, containing, or denoting expressions that are natural to a native speaker; not literal

• Example: The answer also uses a variety of phrasal verbs and idiomatic expressions to create a natural and idiomatic style.

Common Mistakes

1. Not addressing both parts of the question: Some students focus only on the effects of the media exaggerating the importance of celebrities and forget to discuss whether the media should focus more on ordinary people and events.

1. Using informal language: IELTS Writing Task 2 requires a formal tone. Using informal language, such as contractions or colloquialisms, can lower your score.

1. Not using specific examples: To support your arguments, you should use specific examples from your own knowledge or experience. Vague or general statements will not convince the examiner.

1. Poor organization: Your answer should be well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and be connected to the others using cohesive devices.

1. Grammar and punctuation errors: Grammar and punctuation errors can distract the examiner and lower your score. Make sure to proofread your answer for errors before submitting it.

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