IELTS Writing Task 2: Same Sex Marriage - Band 9.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
Related guides:
The Prompt
Some people believe that same-sex marriage is a threat to the traditional family structure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
The traditional family is very important for society. Same-sex marriage is not good because it changes the family. Children need a mother and a father. If two men or two women get married, it is not natural. Also, religion says marriage is between a man and a woman. Many people agree with this. Some countries allow same-sex marriage, but it is not right. We should protect the traditional family.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 4.0 - Presents a position but with limited development and unsupported arguments.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 5.0 - Ideas are logically ordered but with some repetition and lack of clear progression.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses some appropriate vocabulary but with frequent errors and limited range.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 5.0 - Sentences are simple with frequent grammatical errors.
Band 7.0 Answer
Same-sex marriage has become a controversial issue in many countries. While some argue that it threatens traditional family values, others believe it is a matter of human rights. I agree with the latter view. Firstly, marriage is a personal choice and should not be restricted by gender. Secondly, same-sex couples can provide loving and stable homes for children, just like heterosexual couples. Countries like Canada and the Netherlands have legalized same-sex marriage, and their societies have not collapsed. Therefore, it is time to accept same-sex marriage as a normal part of modern life.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 6.0 - Presents a clear position with some supporting ideas but lacks depth in argumentation.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Ideas are logically organized but with some abrupt transitions.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a mix of appropriate and less precise vocabulary with occasional errors.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Sentences are varied but with some grammatical errors.
Band 8.0 Answer
The debate surrounding same-sex marriage has intensified in recent years, with proponents advocating for equality and detractors citing traditional values. I firmly believe that same-sex marriage should be legalized, as it promotes equality and does not harm the institution of marriage. Firstly, marriage is a fundamental human right, and denying it to same-sex couples is discriminatory. Secondly, numerous studies have shown that children raised by same-sex parents fare just as well as those raised by heterosexual parents. Additionally, many countries, including the United States and the United Kingdom, have legalized same-sex marriage without adverse consequences. Therefore, it is imperative that we move towards a more inclusive society where love and commitment are the cornerstones of marriage.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with well-developed arguments and relevant examples.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and cohesive devices.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items and few errors.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Sentences are varied and complex with few grammatical errors.
Band 9.0 Answer
The contentious issue of same-sex marriage has sparked heated debates globally, with traditionalists advocating for the preservation of conventional family structures and progressives championing equality. I contend that same-sex marriage should be universally recognized, as it embodies the principles of equality and does not undermine the sanctity of marriage. Firstly, marriage is an institution that should be accessible to all consenting adults, regardless of their sexual orientation. Denying same-sex couples the right to marry is a blatant violation of human rights. Secondly, empirical evidence suggests that children raised by same-sex parents exhibit similar levels of well-being and social adjustment as those raised by heterosexual parents. Furthermore, countries that have legalized same-sex marriage, such as Sweden and Spain, have not experienced any detrimental effects on their societal fabric. In fact, these nations have reported enhanced social cohesion and inclusivity. Therefore, it is high time we embrace same-sex marriage as a testament to our collective evolution towards a more equitable and compassionate society.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with fully developed arguments, relevant examples, and supporting details.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and sophisticated cohesive devices.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with precise and sophisticated lexical items and no errors.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Sentences are varied and complex with no grammatical errors.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Controversial (adj.): Debatable; likely to cause disagreement or argument.
- Example: The issue of same-sex marriage is highly controversial.
- Proponents (n.): Supporters or advocates of a particular cause or idea.
- Example: Proponents of same-sex marriage argue for equality.
- Detractors (n.): People who criticize or speak against something.
- Example: Detractors of same-sex marriage cite traditional values.
- Imperative (adj.): Essential or crucial.
- Example: It is imperative that we move towards a more inclusive society.
- Empirical (adj.): Based on observation or experience rather than theory.
- Example: Empirical evidence supports the well-being of children raised by same-sex parents.
- Sanctity (n.): The quality or state of being holy or sacred.
- Example: The sanctity of marriage should be preserved.
- Blatant (adj.): Done openly and unashamedly.
- Example: Denying same-sex couples the right to marry is a blatant violation of human rights.
- Inclusivity (n.): The practice or policy of providing equal access to opportunities and resources for people who might otherwise be excluded or marginalized.
- Example: Countries that have legalized same-sex marriage have reported enhanced social cohesion and inclusivity.
- Equitable (adj.): Fair and impartial.
- Example: We should strive for an equitable society.
- Championing (v.): Supporting or defending a cause or idea publicly.
- Example: Progressives are championing equality.
- Contentious (adj.): Causing or likely to cause disagreement or argument.
- Example: The issue of same-sex marriage is contentious.
- Traditionalists (n.): People who support traditional values and customs.
- Example: Traditionalists advocate for the preservation of conventional family structures.
- Preservation (n.): The act of keeping something in its original state or protecting it from harm or destruction.
- Example: Traditionalists advocate for the preservation of conventional family structures.
- Cohesion (n.): The quality of being united or sticking together.
- Example: Countries that have legalized same-sex marriage have reported enhanced social cohesion.
- Equality (n.): The state of being equal, especially in status, rights, or opportunities.
- Example: Same-sex marriage promotes equality.
- Discriminatory (adj.): Treating a person or particular group of people differently, especially in a way that is unfair or prejudicial.
- Example: Denying same-sex couples the right to marry is discriminatory.
- Well-being (n.): The state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy.
- Example: Children raised by same-sex parents exhibit similar levels of well-being.
- Social adjustment (n.): The process of adapting to social norms and expectations.
- Example: Children raised by same-sex parents exhibit similar levels of social adjustment.
- Fabric (n.): The basic structure or framework of a society or system.
- Example: Countries that have legalized same-sex marriage have not experienced any detrimental effects on their societal fabric.
- Collective (adj.): Done by people acting as a group.
- Example: It is high time we embrace same-sex marriage as a testament to our collective evolution.
- Evolution (n.): The gradual development of something, especially from a simple to a more complex form.
- Example: Our collective evolution towards a more equitable and compassionate society.
- Compassionate (adj.): Showing or motivated by compassion, which is sympathy and concern for others.
- Example: We should strive for a more compassionate society.
- Testament (n.): A sign or evidence of a particular fact or event.
- Example: Same-sex marriage is a testament to our collective evolution.
- Equitable (adj.): Fair and impartial.
- Example: We should strive for an equitable society.
- Championing (v.): Supporting or defending a cause or idea publicly.
- Example: Progressives are championing equality.
Common Mistakes
- Lack of Clear Position: Some students fail to present a clear position on the issue, making their arguments weak and unfocused.
- Insufficient Supporting Details: Many answers lack specific examples or details to support the arguments, leading to a lower score in Task Response.
- Repetition: Repeating the same ideas or phrases can make the answer seem less coherent and cohesive.
- Grammatical Errors: Common grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement mistakes and incorrect tense usage, can lower the score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.
- Limited Vocabulary: Using a limited range of vocabulary can make the answer seem less sophisticated and reduce the score in Lexical Resource.
Get Your Own Response Scored by AI on English AIdol
Practice makes perfect. Get your own IELTS Writing Task 2 response scored by AI on English AIdol and receive detailed feedback to help you improve.
