IELTS Writing Task 2: High Speed Rail — Band 9.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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Prompt
Some people believe that the development of high-speed rail is a waste of money, while others argue that it is a necessary investment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Band 9.0 Sample Answer
The proliferation of high-speed rail networks has sparked debate regarding their economic viability. Proponents argue that these systems are essential for modern transportation, while critics contend that they represent an extravagant expenditure.
Advocates of high-speed rail emphasize its potential to revolutionize travel. These systems significantly reduce journey times, making intercity travel more efficient. For instance, the Shinkansen in Japan has not only enhanced mobility but also stimulated economic growth in connected regions. Additionally, high-speed rail reduces carbon emissions compared to air travel, aligning with global sustainability goals. These benefits justify the substantial initial investment required for construction and maintenance.
Conversely, opponents highlight the exorbitant costs associated with high-speed rail projects. The construction of such infrastructure demands considerable financial resources, which could be allocated to other pressing needs such as healthcare or education. Furthermore, the operational costs of maintaining these systems are substantial, and ticket prices may be prohibitive for many travelers. In some cases, the ridership may not justify the investment, as seen in certain European countries where high-speed rail networks have failed to attract sufficient passengers.
In my view, the benefits of high-speed rail outweigh the drawbacks. While the initial costs are high, the long-term advantages in terms of economic growth, environmental sustainability, and improved quality of life make it a worthwhile investment. Governments should prioritize high-speed rail development, ensuring that projects are well-planned and financially sustainable.
Scoring Breakdown
Task Response (TR): 9.0
- Presents a clear position throughout the response.
- Presents, extends, and supports main trends, arguments, or alternatives with relevant, clear, and supported ideas.
- Provides a conclusion that is appropriate to the question.
Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0
- Uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention.
- Uses paragraphing as an important organising feature.
- Uses a mix of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some over-use or under-use of cohesive devices.
Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0
- Uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features.
- Rarely uses uncommon lexis inappropriately, and where present, it causes no hindrance to understanding.
- Uses collocations with a degree of sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0
- Uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and precision.
- Rarely makes any mistakes in grammar, punctuation, or spelling.
- Uses less common and complex grammatical forms with full flexibility and precision.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Proliferation (noun) - rapid increase in the number or amount of something.
- Example: The proliferation of high-speed rail networks has sparked debate.
- Extraneous (adjective) - irrelevant or unrelated to the subject being discussed.
- Example: Critics argue that high-speed rail projects often involve extraneous costs.
- Stimulate (verb) - to encourage or prompt (an action or process).
- Example: High-speed rail stimulates economic growth in connected regions.
- Exorbitant (adjective) - (of a price or cost) excessively high.
- Example: The exorbitant costs associated with high-speed rail projects.
- Prohibitive (adjective) - so high as to prevent people from doing something.
- Example: Ticket prices may be prohibitive for many travelers.
- Justify (verb) - to show or prove to be right or reasonable.
- Example: The benefits justify the substantial initial investment.
- Sustainability (noun) - the ability to be maintained at a certain rate or level without depleting natural resources.
- Example: High-speed rail reduces carbon emissions, aligning with global sustainability goals.
- Viability (noun) - the state of being able to be done or carried out.
- Example: The economic viability of high-speed rail networks.
- Intercity (adjective) - relating to or involving travel between cities.
- Example: High-speed rail makes intercity travel more efficient.
- Stimulate (verb) - to encourage or prompt (an action or process).
- Example: High-speed rail stimulates economic growth in connected regions.
- Allocate (verb) - to distribute (resources or funds) for a particular purpose.
- Example: Financial resources could be allocated to other pressing needs.
- Ridership (noun) - the number of people who use a particular mode of transportation.
- Example: The ridership may not justify the investment.
- Aligned (adjective) - in a straight line; parallel.
- Example: High-speed rail reduces carbon emissions, aligning with global sustainability goals.
- Prohibitive (adjective) - so high as to prevent people from doing something.
- Example: Ticket prices may be prohibitive for many travelers.
- Outweigh (verb) - to be greater in number, amount, or importance.
- Example: The benefits of high-speed rail outweigh the drawbacks.
- Stimulate (verb) - to encourage or prompt (an action or process).
- Example: High-speed rail stimulates economic growth in connected regions.
- Allocate (verb) - to distribute (resources or funds) for a particular purpose.
- Example: Financial resources could be allocated to other pressing needs.
- Ridership (noun) - the number of people who use a particular mode of transportation.
- Example: The ridership may not justify the investment.
- Aligned (adjective) - in a straight line; parallel.
- Example: High-speed rail reduces carbon emissions, aligning with global sustainability goals.
- Prohibitive (adjective) - so high as to prevent people from doing something.
- Example: Ticket prices may be prohibitive for many travelers.
- Outweigh (verb) - to be greater in number, amount, or importance.
- Example: The benefits of high-speed rail outweigh the drawbacks.
- Stimulate (verb) - to encourage or prompt (an action or process).
- Example: High-speed rail stimulates economic growth in connected regions.
- Allocate (verb) - to distribute (resources or funds) for a particular purpose.
- Example: Financial resources could be allocated to other pressing needs.
- Ridership (noun) - the number of people who use a particular mode of transportation.
- Example: The ridership may not justify the investment.
- Aligned (adjective) - in a straight line; parallel.
- Example: High-speed rail reduces carbon emissions, aligning with global sustainability goals.
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Lack of Clear Position: Many students fail to present a clear position in their response, leading to a lower Task Response score.
- Poor Vocabulary Choices: Using basic or repetitive vocabulary can limit the Lexical Resource score.
- Inadequate Cohesion: Poor use of cohesive devices can make the response difficult to follow, affecting the Coherence and Cohesion score.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical mistakes can significantly lower the Grammatical Range and Accuracy score.
- Irrelevant Examples: Including examples that do not support the main argument can weaken the overall response.
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